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-   -   Richard Madeley really is Alan Partridge (http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showthread.php?t=415609)

cabareteyebrows 06-07-2006 17:25

Richard Madeley really is Alan Partridge
 
The lady who developed a Jamaican accent after some sort of neurological trauma is on the show.

She was saying how unhappy she is about it but Richard still couldn't resist doing his Jamaican/Ali G accent. The tw*t just can't help himself. I was just waiting for him to ask if she wanted beer can and eggs.

Old Punkette 06-07-2006 19:06

Yes, he really is a twit of the highest order. Didn't he also make an embarrassing remark to the school kids about their protest song? I was just coming back into the room when I saw Judy cringing and telling him to stop. :o

He's on the special additionof Question Time tonight. :eek:

castel64 07-07-2006 00:25

Please, please, somebody remember him calling people who stole garden plants 'optimistic thieves' instead of 'opportunistic'. I can't bear to think I just dreamed this :D

Al Bino 07-07-2006 01:05

Had to laugh when he said to Judy on Tuesday/Wednesday, "Go on Judy, take your top off!"

From the look on her face, she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her.

Madeley is great entertainment value.

Persephone 07-07-2006 01:34

The other day Judy was shaking and going on about how she dislikes the thought of squid being prepared. Richard then found the need to shoot her down and tell her she was wrong by using the immortal line "Your point's not valid Finnegan".

Priceless. :D

Al Bino 07-07-2006 01:53

Does anyone remember him interviewing Frank Sinatra's daughter?


"It's obvious you loved your father, but do you think you were actually in love with him?"

Alrightmate 07-07-2006 03:40

I remember a few months ago he was interviewing an actor who played a bisexual character in a film or a TV drama.
(I've forgotten who the actor was, so if somebody remembers please jog my memory)....

..and he then asked the actor if he was bisexual who he would prefer to have sex with,... himself or Judy.

The actor couldn't believe what Richard had just asked him and reminded Richard that he was straight, and that it is his fictional character who was bisexual so he really wouldn't know.

Woowookid 07-07-2006 08:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Persephone
The other day Judy was shaking and going on about how she dislikes the thought of squid being prepared. Richard then found the need to shoot her down and tell her she was wrong by using the immortal line "Your point's not valid Finnegan".

Priceless. :D

What a horrible bloke.
No man should belittle his wife in public like that.
He professes his love for Judy in numerous articles in the press, but he has no respect for her whatsoever.

He might be attractive, and look good for his age, but that's no compensation for being a complete tit.

cabareteyebrows 07-07-2006 09:54

This thread could run and run if we post our favourite Richard moments, from the past or as they happen.

Jamessussex 07-07-2006 10:03

I'm surprised he hasn't been snapped up by GMTV for his inapproprite remarks, putting down his colleagues and his plain economy-sized rudeness.

castel64 07-07-2006 10:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by cabareteyebrows
This thread could run and run if we post our favourite Richard moments, from the past or as they happen.

Am not in the UK at the moment, but yes please, please, please post lots of 'Richard's'. Maybe if we can keep it going long enough - shouldn't be too tricky - we can get an entry in the Oxford English, like Mrs Malaprop; Malapropism :D

The Prumeister 07-07-2006 10:35

To a post-op Man to Woman Transsexual:

'Do you miss having a penis'
:D :D :D :eek:

thequeenofspain 07-07-2006 10:56

My particular 'favourite' Madeley moment was on This Morning when everyone's favourite celebrity psychologist, Dr Raj Persuad, was interviewing a woman who had had an obsessive crush on a celebrity and had been stalking them. It was all handled with dignity and decorum until Madeley uttered the immortal words...

"So, Jane, when did you first realise that you were quite clearly mad?"

Priceless.

cobaltmale 07-07-2006 11:02

They MUST get Madeley on the next "Celebrity Big Brother".

G

gkmacca 07-07-2006 13:47

Remember his 'Millennium Cupboard'? :rolleyes:

mashedpotatoes 07-07-2006 13:55

Here's a few good ones

http://goatpunch.com:8080/interflow?...Madeley+Quotes

Al Bino 07-07-2006 14:38

Here you are:


> Interviewing Frank Sinatra's daughter:

"Now obviously you loved your father, but do you think you were actually in love with him?"


>Richard: "We'll have Neve Campbell on the show who was recently voted third sexiest woman in the history of cinema"

To Judy

"Do you think that's like being the third man on the moon?"

Judy (already exasperated after 10 seconds of the show): No.


> "I REALLY love ducks - they've always got a smile on their face."


> "YOU'RE just humming with sexual energy! Is it the fabric? Is it wearing tights?"

- Richard Madeley to transvestite artist Grayson Perry

>"WILL the gentleman with 1 nipple please reveal it?"

- Richard Madeley (Richard & Judy) Jan 31st 2006


> Confirming that only he could be impressed by Jade Goody's intelligence, Richard exclaims: "I've never met anyone who thought Sherlock Holmes invented the toilet." Later he tels her: "You're quite sharp. It's just that in the pure sense of the word, you're ignorant."

> "That particular octopus committed suicide, didn't he? He stabbed himself with his own beak."

- Richard Madeley (The Richard & Judy Show)


> (ultra-partridge) Richard Madeley reacting to a trick by mind reader Derren Brown exclaiming: "Can we have a wooden stake, some petroleum and a rope? Because we are burning you at the end of the show!"


> During a "debate" about the Sarah Payne case, Richard asking, "Do you think it's time we took a radical approach to dealing with paedophiles, as opposed to fiddling with the edges?"


> MADDEST moment of the week on Richard & Judy: When one of Westlife revealed he'd had laser surgery and Richard leapt to his feet and tried forcing open his eyes "looking for scars".


> Alan Partridge-ism of the week came when, having watched a clip of a man struggling horribly with his stutter, Madeley turned to him and enthused: "You looked as if your head was going to come off!"


> Then Richard interviewed Bernadette Hughes, who was abandoned by her mother as a child.

"You were found on the doorstep of a church," Madeley mused rather romantically. "Were you in a little basket?"

"No," she pointed out. "I was naked, with the umbilical cord and afterbirth still attached, wrapped in a pile of newspapers and left on the doorstep."

At the age of 20, Hughes traced her mother.

"You then got a letter," chipped in Judy, "It said: 'Blood isn't thicker than water. I didn't want you then and I don't want you now. I've got a family of my own and you're not it. Get lost.'"

Which, if nothing else, cleared that up.


> After a sensibly sanitised debut, Richard Madeley returned to Alan Partridge mode for the rest of the week, even interrupting one viewer's call with immortal Partridge comment, "Thanks for the story. It's over !"


> Alan-esque interview questions included (to Sophie Ellis Bextor): "Where did you get your face?" which he expanded on with, "It's Egyptian, almost cat-like. What's it like without make-up?"


> His announcements included the promise that the next day's show would feature "the man who intends to amputate his own feet, on the internet!" and a warning about a gang of dog-knappers which inspired Judy to mutter, "They better not kidnap Geri Halliwell's dog. He's only a little shih-tzu."


> "We've launched a snoring hotline," Madeley bellowed before having hysterics listening to excerpts of viewers' snoring. "Don't worry," he announced Partridgely, "We've got much funnier ones."


> A young boy, who has what is officially the longest tongue in the country, revealed: "I used to stick it out and pick my nose with it."

After the groans died down, Madeley paused before conceding, "That is one HECK of a trick."


> But the most pricelessly Partridge-esque moment of the week came when Madeley drifted off into an anecdote about the time he dreamt he was in the cupboard under the stairs - a story that concluded, triumphantly, "And I WAS in the cupboard under the stairs. Right at the back with the wellies!"


> JOHN Fashanu (on his phobia of snakes): "About once a week I've been waking up in the night and the bed's been absolutely saturated."

Richard Madeley: "With sweat?"


> THIS week's highlights of the (increasingly bonkers) Richard & Judy:

# Richard telling the woman who missed out on £928,000 because she couldn't face the queue for the Lottery, "Maybe it was for the best."
# Richard's amazement that Judy knew how to pronounce Stolichnaya vodka (as in "two bottles of Stolichnaya, please").
# Richard's description of the You Say We Play competition as "like a parlour game - an old Edwardian parlour game."
# And finally, the Alan Partridge Moment Of The Week when Richard told Charlotte Church, "OK, imagine I'm someone from with a record company with a ponytail" and started shouting, "I OWN you, Church!"


> "When we first got together, one of the things me and Judy had in common was a passion for the correct use of the apostrophe" - Richard Madeley. (Richard & Judy)


> CARING INTERVIEWER OF THE WEEK

"Your short-term memory really is shot! It must drive you nuts!!"

- Richard Madeley to George Martin, subject of Living Without Memory (Richard & Judy)


>"IT'S funny. It doesn't work the other way round !"

- Richard Madeley on white wine improving red wine stains (Richard & Judy)


> "YOU'VE lost some weight, haven't you? Why's that? You're not ill are you?!" -

Richard to Mark Williams (Richard & Judy)


> RICHARD & Judy to Janet Street-Porter:

Richard: "Tell us why your mum was so ghastly."

Judy: "She was Welsh-speaking, wasn't she?"- (Richard & Judy)


> JUDY: "Blimey, I nearly sat on my microphone - I dread to think where it would have gone."

RICHARD: "Oooh I can tell you Judy. There's only one of two options!"


> The programme also featured more recent moments of note. This included an item in 2004 on Richard and Judy about the merits of piss drinking (or Urine Therapy as they opted to call it). This time Richard took the lead with Judy intermittently yelping in horror as 'Urine Therapist' Jim Crawford outlined the benefits of the yellow stuff sat in a glass on the table. "But its got germs!" Judy wailed, "No it hasn't" admonished piss doctor to the by now near-hysterical Judy as he proceeded to glug down a full glass of his own piss to a fascinated Madeley.

Judy: Oh My GOD

Richard: How would you describe the flavour?


> Interviewing actress Claire Goose, Richard asks, "Weren't you once a story-telling raccoon in a theme park?"

When Ms Goose tries to lead the discussion back to Waking The Dead, Richard continues, excitedly demanding "What sort of stories did you have to tell as a raccoon? Did you have a special raccoon voice?"


> Richard starts reminiscing about when he was small and his mother undressed in front of him.

"Where are we going with this?" Judy demands.

In a moment of pure Alan Partridge, Richard announces the competition.

"David Seaman is celebrating his 39th birthday today. His ponytail is 10!"


> He describes the phone number (08703-662-233) as "A numerically satisfying number there."


> Finally, Judy introduces the debate.

"Do you think that it's clever or crazy to implant children with computer chips?" Judy asks.

"How do you feel about getting a micro-chip in part of you?" Richard asks a 10-year-old boy. "We don't know which part yet..."


> When concluding the interview of someone who'd been permanently disabled after an accident, Richard comforts her by saying "You poor thing", before launching into "Anyway, coming up after the break...."


> Madeley can hardly contain himself when they have on a guest who is gay or bisexual. Instead of asking about their work or whatever he focuses on their sexuality, asking Rebecca Looes "so will you end up with a bloke or a woman?" and "would you want to snog Judy?" When John Barowman was on he asked him "Would you rather have sex with me or Judy?" to which the lovely John replied "I'd have your bottom half Richard and Judy's top half".


> Interviewing a teenage anorexic just now:
"5 Stone? Wow that's concentration camp thin that is"


> R&J are interviewing a man and a woman with dwarfism about 2 years ago. They had just come from Parliament, where they'd been protesting about the discrimination against little people and how the only jobs they could get were in panto and the like. To set the tone of the discussion, Madeley introduced a clip from Austin Powers showing how little people were cruelly treated as figures of fun for our entertainment.

Unfortunately the Mini-Me clip was really quite funny. He then asked the woman about playing a Wookie and meeting George Lucas (this is all true, I swear). I kept watching in horror, until he turned to the bloke and said, 'So you're protesting about this discrimination now. You must have had it up to here,' and put his fingertips to his forehead.


> I remember a time when they were doing one of their medical pieces about 'Women's problems' (with the creepy doctor who likes to say 'menstruation' alot).

Anyway, Richard interrupted the discussion with something along the lines of 'Yes, Judy - remember when you had thrush? YOu had a terrible time of it'.


> Acouple of years ago he interviewed a young kid with leukaemia. He greeted the boy with a cheery "Hello baldy!".


> “And that's a self-portrait of himself, by himself.”


> “When we (himself and Judy) were trying to conceive, I would douse
my balls in icy cold water before intercourse.'”


> "I've never met a single woman who's happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I've never met her,"


> Richard Madeley: "I understand you have a little lad of 12."
Caller: "Yes, that's right."
Richard Madeley: "Is he a boy or a girl?"
Caller: "A boy."


> "Frankly, I don't think that what we see on television is erotic enough. I haven't seen a sex scene on television recently that has remotely turned me on. And I've been there till 4am waiting for it."


> "Can you imagine if they'd had morris dancers at Dunkirk?"

anna banana 07-07-2006 16:28

Unfortunately not very funny but just goes to show the crashing insensitivity of the man:

1) Interviewing Kevin Wells (Holly's father) about how the family had coped since Holly's murder, Mr Wells had been talking about the need for forgiveness and attempting to move on with life in as positive a way as possible.
Richard pipes up with something like:

"as a father there must have been something almost visceral, a desire to kill the man who did this horrific and violent thing to your daughter"

2) On a similar theme, R&J are interviewing a young Iraqi woman about her time spent in Saddam Hussein's palace as a child. She speaks at some length, and quite movingly, about how she is glad that Saddam has been captured and that justice will be done but that she doesn't advocate the death penalty because she believes it goes against Islamic doctrine.

Richard concludes the interview with something like:

"don't worry love, he'll be swinging at the end of a rope soon!"

xflare 07-07-2006 16:42

What about his interview with former US President Bill Clinton. !!!

He went on and on about him being accused of shoplifting and compared it to the President being impeached. :eek:

weedledeedle 07-07-2006 16:44

:eek: at most of them

:rolleyes: at some of them

:mad: at quite a few that are grossly insensitive

:yawn: at those where no one laughed the first time, so he had to repeat it

:confused: at the mentality of the man

:o because he isn't and Judy must be

and :confused: at how he got the job of being "on telly" and "a respected journalist and commentator" from being just a one trick journo on the Essex local papers ;)

IVOR UP FRONT 07-07-2006 16:51

Total Pratt
 
Off screen, he is just as bad.
At a recent open air concert by Art Garfunkel at Kenwood House, I overheard a middle aged voice I thought I recognised.
" I told you this was a stupid idea, it makes both of us look like total Pratt's" said the Woman.
" It's fashionable" replied the man.
As a couple both dressed in bright white flannel suit's with straw boaters and wearing pitch black sunglasses walked by, I had to agree with Judy, Richard had made them both look like pratt's.

Sheba's collar 07-07-2006 17:17

Interviewing cast of Lost the other day"Are you[characters on show]in hell,purgatory,is it a dream..I mean what is it?"
Then the classic "Have any of you seen The Prisoner,a Britsish show from the 60's?"
Duh..they're all American and young and so how are they gonna have seen it?
"All great acting by the way.." Could he get any further up their arse?
When talking about pilot episode of the show"I wont go into detail for those who haven't caught up to watching it"
Who that likes Lost hasn't seen it.It was the first ever ep Richard you doofus! :D

Jamfocus 07-07-2006 17:36

And Judy tells him to Shut Up :D:D:D:D:D

anna banana 07-07-2006 17:52

I actually had to stop watching today after that horrendous lonely hearts thing!

'blonde woman of a certain age with fantastic tits!' I would've slapped him....Judy still might by the look on her face!

You've got to love the sheer lunacy of his opening question to that newly discovered model:

"when did you first realise you were beautiful?" good grief! The poor girl! How is anyone supposed to answer that??

By the way, I remember reading an interview with R&J once in which he described himself as 'an incisive journalist' and compared his style to Jeremy Paxman. Dream on Richard!!

sugarbabe 07-07-2006 17:52

Didn't he just love his own slip up tonight in You Say We Pay. Picture shows a lamb chop, contestant describes, from a sheep, you eat it and it has a bone. Richard says - Pork Chop, realises his mistake and then says "The papers will love that"

He is so far up his own a**e his head is touching his neck!!


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