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Search: Key Word(s): ; Posts Made By: HarrisonMarks
Forum: General Discussion Yesterday, 08:10
Replies: 122
Views: 3,893
Posted By HarrisonMarks
The 'General Election' series. This year's was...

The 'General Election' series. This year's was the worst yet.
Forum: General Discussion 26-05-2015, 13:33
Replies: 41
Views: 1,951
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I always choose the best looking self-service...

I always choose the best looking self-service till. I think I'm definitely 'on' with one at Sainsbury..
Forum: General Discussion 25-05-2015, 21:21
Replies: 58
Views: 1,744
Posted By HarrisonMarks
There was another camping trip where the bloke...

There was another camping trip where the bloke from the girls school turned up again, this time with a sexy German woman on an archeological dig. Ended up with the whole campsite sinking!
Forum: General Discussion 25-05-2015, 14:57
Replies: 58
Views: 1,744
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I was at a campsite where a girls school party...

I was at a campsite where a girls school party turned up, with a rather camp(appropriately) bloke and a slightly fearsome matron in charge. They were a bit old for schoolgirls to be honest and one or...
Forum: General Discussion 24-05-2015, 18:59
Replies: 114
Views: 4,390
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I'm top Tory lardbucket Sir Eric Pickles and I...

I'm top Tory lardbucket Sir Eric Pickles and I save myself the trouble of washing up by dining on the raw flesh of freshly starved paupers.
Forum: General Discussion 24-05-2015, 13:24
Replies: 92
Views: 4,595
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Disappointed by this thread. I was hoping to find...

Disappointed by this thread. I was hoping to find out where I could buy a kebab which had breasts.
Forum: General Discussion 21-05-2015, 07:02
Replies: 82
Views: 3,257
Posted By HarrisonMarks
There was an old man from the coast Who ate...

There was an old man from the coast
Who ate melted $hit on his toast
When the toast saw the $hit
It collapsed in a fit
For the $hit was its grandfather's ghost
Forum: General Discussion 17-05-2015, 13:33
Replies: 198
Views: 6,536
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Nine out of ten people can live with being...

Nine out of ten people can live with being decimated.
Forum: General Discussion 15-05-2015, 21:37
Replies: 41
Views: 1,260
Posted By HarrisonMarks
No, a sick hippy doing press-ups (thank you 'Give...

No, a sick hippy doing press-ups (thank you 'Give Us A Break' quiz machine 1980s)
Forum: General Discussion 15-05-2015, 20:55
Replies: 41
Views: 1,260
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I like that one, can I borrow it for Twitter?

I like that one, can I borrow it for Twitter?
Forum: General Discussion 15-05-2015, 20:53
Replies: 198
Views: 6,536
Posted By HarrisonMarks
'I'm spitting feathers'. That means you're...

'I'm spitting feathers'.
That means you're thirsty. If you're angry, you're spitting blood.
Forum: General Discussion 15-05-2015, 20:51
Replies: 9
Views: 373
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Oddly I often crap myself an hour or so before. I...

Oddly I often crap myself an hour or so before. I must be psychic.
Forum: General Discussion 15-05-2015, 20:44
Replies: 41
Views: 1,260
Posted By HarrisonMarks
What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything...

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Anything you like, it is an animal and even if domesticated is more likely to respond to tone of voice than any syllabic content of your utterance regardless of...
Forum: General Discussion 15-05-2015, 20:42
Replies: 41
Views: 1,260
Posted By HarrisonMarks
What do you call an Irishman who's been dead for...

What do you call an Irishman who's been dead for 800 years with a shovel in his head?
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
Forum: General Discussion 15-05-2015, 20:41
Replies: 41
Views: 1,260
Posted By HarrisonMarks
What do you call an Irishman who's been dead for...

What do you call an Irishman who's been dead for 800 years?
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
Forum: General Discussion 15-05-2015, 20:40
Replies: 41
Views: 1,260
Posted By HarrisonMarks
What do you call a man with three wooden...

What do you call a man with three wooden heads?
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
Forum: General Discussion 14-05-2015, 21:15
Replies: 50
Views: 2,486
Posted By HarrisonMarks
That pizza which I have just eaten was completely...

That pizza which I have just eaten was completely inedible.
Forum: General Discussion 14-05-2015, 20:13
Replies: 29
Views: 1,317
Posted By HarrisonMarks
God speaks, bit we struggle to understand Him.

God speaks, bit we struggle to understand Him.
Forum: General Discussion 14-05-2015, 20:06
Replies: 62
Views: 1,871
Posted By HarrisonMarks
My favourite is Titty Ho in Raunds, Northants....

My favourite is Titty Ho in Raunds, Northants. With Hog Dyke running alongside.
Forum: TV Shows: UK 14-05-2015, 19:54
Replies: 28
Views: 1,278
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Supermatch Game Supermatch Game SUPERMATCH GAME!

Supermatch Game Supermatch Game SUPERMATCH GAME!
Forum: General Discussion 13-05-2015, 09:36
Replies: 54
Views: 2,861
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I'm barebummed 70s actor Robin Askwith and I...

I'm barebummed 70s actor Robin Askwith and I never had to arrange dates. My job as a window cleaner/driving instructor/milkman would lead me into all sorts of saucy high jinks with hilarious...
Forum: General Discussion 13-05-2015, 09:29
Replies: 45
Views: 1,381
Posted By HarrisonMarks
He should get Kraftwerk to do one of their robots...

He should get Kraftwerk to do one of their robots for him, then he can sing and dance.
Forum: General Discussion 07-05-2015, 13:28
Replies: 26
Views: 803
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I'm 5th century BC playwright Aeschylus and I say...

I'm 5th century BC playwright Aeschylus and I say think yourself lucky it's not tortoises!
Forum: General Discussion 06-05-2015, 22:25
Replies: 143
Views: 6,537
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Doesn't seem much to me. As I said, I'd stick to...

Doesn't seem much to me. As I said, I'd stick to beer and not touch cocktails, expensive plonk and 'sloe gin' whatever that is.
Forum: General Discussion 06-05-2015, 16:53
Replies: 3,616
Views: 218,497
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Why did the Banana Splits all get assigned...

Why did the Banana Splits all get assigned household maintenance tasks of which they were incapable and which weekly caused them a great deal of distress?
Showing results 1 to 25 of 497

 
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