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Search: Key Word(s): ; Posts Made By: Heston Veston
Forum: TV Shows: UK 31-07-2015, 20:42
Replies: 1,043
Views: 214,140
Posted By Heston Veston
It's a fake. What's the point of that?

It's a fake. What's the point of that?
Forum: Politics 31-07-2015, 10:15
Replies: 5
Views: 389
Posted By Heston Veston
Fair's fair, I didn't get the 'Sharon Law'...

Fair's fair, I didn't get the 'Sharon Law' reference in another, similar, post.
Forum: General Discussion 31-07-2015, 10:13
Replies: 26
Views: 889
Posted By Heston Veston
As a Scotsman, I recommend pocket tossing the...

As a Scotsman, I recommend pocket tossing the caber.
Forum: General Discussion 31-07-2015, 10:11
Replies: 168
Views: 3,677
Posted By Heston Veston
The hardware is cheap. The bespoke software and...

The hardware is cheap. The bespoke software and back-end support is colossally fecking expensive. All those Crapita directorships don't come cheap you know.
Forum: General Discussion 31-07-2015, 09:32
Replies: 26
Views: 889
Posted By Heston Veston
Are other pocket sports available? Pocket darts?...

Are other pocket sports available?

Pocket darts? Pocket ten pin bowling? Pocket 100m hurdles?
Forum: Politics 31-07-2015, 09:26
Replies: 5
Views: 389
Posted By Heston Veston
My local shop has adopted Shari Lewis

Limited range of food - lamb chops mainly.
Forum: Music 31-07-2015, 07:29
Replies: 57
Views: 2,743
Posted By Heston Veston
Oh, I don't know - it's widely recognised as a...

Oh, I don't know - it's widely recognised as a great steaming turd of a song.
Forum: TV Shows: UK 29-07-2015, 22:36
Replies: 1,043
Views: 214,140
Posted By Heston Veston
I think they could refloat the Titanic.

I think they could refloat the Titanic.
Forum: General Discussion 29-07-2015, 19:10
Replies: 14
Views: 695
Posted By Heston Veston
A few years ago I was unemployed for a spell, and...

A few years ago I was unemployed for a spell, and some of the staff were less than understanding. I think all staff who work in a Jobcentre should spend several months on the dole first to see what...
Forum: General Discussion 29-07-2015, 14:51
Replies: 3,379
Views: 102,921
Posted By Heston Veston
On that note, the second WTC strike was away off...

On that note, the second WTC strike was away off to one corner of the building. Any further off and he might have missed altogether, or at best only caused superficial damage - although I don't know...
Forum: General Discussion 29-07-2015, 13:51
Replies: 168
Views: 3,677
Posted By Heston Veston
:confused: I do that already. Me and about 30...

:confused: I do that already. Me and about 30 million others.
Forum: General Discussion 29-07-2015, 13:34
Replies: 168
Views: 3,677
Posted By Heston Veston
A driving license entitles me to drive a motor...

A driving license entitles me to drive a motor vehicle.
A passport entitles me to travel to a foreign country.
An ID card entitles me to...what, exactly?..
Forum: General Discussion 29-07-2015, 11:55
Replies: 168
Views: 3,677
Posted By Heston Veston
ID cards are a great idea for people too stupid...

ID cards are a great idea for people too stupid to remember their own name.

For everybody else, they're unnecessary.
Forum: General Discussion 29-07-2015, 10:28
Replies: 40
Views: 1,383
Posted By Heston Veston
Absolutely. Coming next: Tesco retracts decision...

Absolutely.

Coming next: Tesco retracts decision to stop selling Ribena (after gouging a new price agreement with the manufacturers).
Forum: TV Shows: UK 29-07-2015, 10:22
Replies: 53
Views: 2,142
Posted By Heston Veston
Barney Miller

Barney Miller
Forum: General Discussion 29-07-2015, 09:32
Replies: 3,379
Views: 102,921
Posted By Heston Veston
As the saying goes, beware of being open-minded...

As the saying goes, beware of being open-minded to the point where your brains fall out.
Forum: General Discussion 29-07-2015, 07:19
Replies: 40
Views: 1,383
Posted By Heston Veston
Not selling big-name brands equals more shelf...

Not selling big-name brands equals more shelf space for own-name brands. Ker-ching!
Forum: TV Shows: UK 28-07-2015, 17:57
Replies: 53
Views: 2,142
Posted By Heston Veston
'Halfway to Paradise', late night music show on...

'Halfway to Paradise', late night music show on STV.

Another bl**dy show I can't remember the name of, some sort of music show with animated marching robots over the opening credits.
Forum: Politics 28-07-2015, 14:58
Replies: 58
Views: 1,772
Posted By Heston Veston
Straight bananas. I want my bananas BENT! Oi,...

Straight bananas.

I want my bananas BENT!

Oi, Merkel - hands off our bananas. You Germans want straight bananas to match your autobahns but it won't wash here. The traditional British banana is...
Forum: General Discussion 28-07-2015, 14:47
Replies: 3,379
Views: 102,921
Posted By Heston Veston
And, for all the money thrown at the US defence...

And, for all the money thrown at the US defence budget, the Pentagon's CCTV system would be at least a decade behind then-current technology. Low-res, low frame-rate, low FOV.

But of course, that...
Forum: TV Shows: UK 28-07-2015, 14:41
Replies: 53
Views: 2,142
Posted By Heston Veston
I just remembered - it was 'Dream On'.

I just remembered - it was 'Dream On'.
Forum: TV Shows: UK 28-07-2015, 14:09
Replies: 53
Views: 2,142
Posted By Heston Veston
First time I saw The Prisoner it was a late-night...

First time I saw The Prisoner it was a late-night slot on ITV.

"A Question of Sex" with Clive James and Anna Raeburn.
"Married...With Children"

Another US import, can't remember the name of it,...
Forum: General Discussion 28-07-2015, 13:20
Replies: 79
Views: 5,081
Posted By Heston Veston
I'm not saying but I'd give the cod in parsley...

I'm not saying but I'd give the cod in parsley sauce a miss if I was you.
Forum: General Discussion 28-07-2015, 13:04
Replies: 3,379
Views: 102,921
Posted By Heston Veston
Duh! They got out through the cockpit windows! Or...

Duh! They got out through the cockpit windows! Or through the avionics bay and into the wheel wells. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger in that 'Commando' documentary.
Forum: General Discussion 28-07-2015, 13:01
Replies: 3,379
Views: 102,921
Posted By Heston Veston
Yes but the countdown timers are really big, and...

Yes but the countdown timers are really big, and all bombs have countdown timers. And a red wire. And a blue wire. Or is it a green wire?
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