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Search: Key Word(s): ; Posts Made By: HarrisonMarks
Forum: General Discussion 05-07-2015, 18:02
Replies: 60
Views: 2,572
Posted By HarrisonMarks
My neighbours were really stroppy about taking in...

My neighbours were really stroppy about taking in my last delivery. I've told them that I must have fresh cadavers for my bizarre experiments, don't see what their problem is.
Forum: Football 02-07-2015, 13:56
Replies: 88
Views: 2,729
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Getting very bored with this, third time on this...

Getting very bored with this, third time on this thread already. The men's team have won their last six competitive fixtures and haven't lost any match for over a year. What are they supposed to do?
Forum: General Discussion 29-12-2010, 21:22
Replies: 18
Views: 730
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Bless You! again.You are suffering,poor thing.

Bless You! again.You are suffering,poor thing.
Forum: General Discussion 29-12-2010, 21:20
Replies: 31
Views: 3,265
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Bless You!

Bless You!
Forum: General Discussion 29-12-2010, 21:08
Replies: 91
Views: 3,677
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I haven't seen a footy match for three funking...

I haven't seen a footy match for three funking weeks and won't see one until Monday and that's only if it doesn't funking snow again so funk the snow.
Forum: General Discussion 27-12-2010, 17:52
Replies: 44
Views: 1,935
Posted By HarrisonMarks
It was much worse 50 or so years ago when they...

It was much worse 50 or so years ago when they were obliged to walk slowly down the street with their feet splayed horizontally,pausing every few strides to bend their knees and say 'Ello,Ello,Elllo'...
Forum: General Discussion 27-12-2010, 17:47
Replies: 11
Views: 1,237
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I absolutely hated Christmas....because I am a...

I absolutely hated Christmas....because I am a fictitious Muslim who hates Christian celebrations.
Yours,Iqbal ul-Bullpucky
Forum: TV Shows: UK 24-12-2010, 20:37
Replies: 180
Views: 11,585
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I didn't like Tom and Jerry because it was...

I didn't like Tom and Jerry because it was scary.Can you imagine a bipedal human-faced mouse invading your house,taking what it wanted out of the fridge and kicking the sh*t out of your cat?
Forum: Advice 24-12-2010, 20:11
Replies: 31
Views: 1,455
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I don't think that I've ever been to a pub quiz...

I don't think that I've ever been to a pub quiz which hasn't had a team called 'Norfolk n' Chance'.
Forum: General Discussion 24-12-2010, 19:33
Replies: 16
Views: 804
Posted By HarrisonMarks
What have you gotta put together...

What have you gotta put together tonight?

Depends how she feels after all that port.....
Forum: General Discussion 24-12-2010, 18:32
Replies: 122
Views: 4,866
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I don't think you'll find much here. (Try the TV...

I don't think you'll find much here.
(Try the TV forum!)
Forum: General Discussion 24-12-2010, 18:29
Replies: 27
Views: 2,545
Posted By HarrisonMarks
65 today! Happy Birthday!

65 today! Happy Birthday!
Forum: General Discussion 24-12-2010, 18:26
Replies: 122
Views: 4,866
Posted By HarrisonMarks
We're onto the cheese and port - I think we may...

We're onto the cheese and port - I think we may have peaked too early.
Forum: General Discussion 24-12-2010, 18:24
Replies: 25
Views: 1,355
Posted By HarrisonMarks
It's better than 'over ice' which is much in...

It's better than 'over ice' which is much in favour with the evil purveyors of crappy bottled 'cider'.
Forum: General Discussion 23-12-2010, 21:06
Replies: 228
Views: 14,349
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Only really bad if your surname is Bucket.

Only really bad if your surname is Bucket.
Forum: TV Shows: UK 22-12-2010, 22:06
Replies: 52
Views: 7,803
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Were you thinking of Sir Fred Pontin? Pontins was...

Were you thinking of Sir Fred Pontin? Pontins was where you went if you couldn't afford Butlins....
Forum: General Discussion 21-12-2010, 22:15
Replies: 25
Views: 1,098
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Most folk will never eat a skunk,but then again...

Most folk will never eat a skunk,but then again some folk'll......
Forum: Football 21-12-2010, 21:45
Replies: 142
Views: 7,150
Posted By HarrisonMarks
I live 400 yards from Cambridge United's...

I live 400 yards from Cambridge United's ground.
I support Cambridge City.
Forum: General Discussion 17-12-2010, 20:29
Replies: 22
Views: 792
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Speaking German would probably be a...

Speaking German would probably be a vote-loser.Except in Texas maybe.
Forum: General Discussion 17-12-2010, 15:22
Replies: 30
Views: 1,250
Posted By HarrisonMarks
'nimum sente' - makes no sense (possibly...

'nimum sente' - makes no sense (possibly Latin?).
I understand 'mince'.
Forum: General Discussion 17-12-2010, 10:31
Replies: 29
Views: 1,355
Posted By HarrisonMarks
The point of Morris Dancing is that it's done...

The point of Morris Dancing is that it's done outside pubs.And for every ten minutes dancing there's fifty in the pub.I do it only I omit the dancing part.
Forum: General Discussion 16-12-2010, 13:35
Replies: 361
Views: 17,954
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Is it marshmallow or marshmellow? I say...

Is it marshmallow or marshmellow? I say marshmallow.

Also, Weatherspoons or Witherspoons?

If it's the pub chain it's Wetherspoon.
If it's Reese it's Witherspoon.
If it's eating a hard boiled egg...
Forum: General Discussion 15-12-2010, 21:03
Replies: 64
Views: 1,960
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Best place for it, if it's like his others.

Best place for it, if it's like his others.
Forum: General Discussion 15-12-2010, 13:37
Replies: 742
Views: 30,210
Posted By HarrisonMarks
They should probably have gradations e.g. tax...

They should probably have gradations e.g.
tax dodger = sausage
burglar = half sausage
murderer = no sausage
paedo = dog turd
Forum: General Discussion 15-12-2010, 13:01
Replies: 42
Views: 3,939
Posted By HarrisonMarks
Is 'masturbating to' correct? I would have...

Is 'masturbating to' correct? I would have thought 'at' or possibly 'with'.'Over' as in the OP gives perhaps too vivid a picture.
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