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Search: Key Word(s): ; Posts Made By: Elyan
Forum: General Discussion Yesterday, 16:21
Replies: 184
Views: 3,941
Posted By Elyan
They don't live very long. You're barely getting...

They don't live very long.

You're barely getting to know them and they snuff it.
Forum: General Discussion Yesterday, 12:41
Replies: 184
Views: 3,941
Posted By Elyan
The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Clank...

The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.

Clank open the rubbish chute flap, chuck the deceased rodent in, slam it shut.

Amen.
Forum: General Discussion Yesterday, 12:21
Replies: 184
Views: 3,941
Posted By Elyan
Surely hamster treats can't take up that much...

Surely hamster treats can't take up that much room.

She could even manufacture and ship them out one by one. Five hundred trips a day to the pet shop is do-able.
Forum: General Discussion Yesterday, 12:05
Replies: 133
Views: 4,059
Posted By Elyan
You think he meant having sex right there with...

You think he meant having sex right there with the maths teacher, while everyone else was doing their sums.

You do, don't you? :D
Forum: General Discussion Yesterday, 11:21
Replies: 184
Views: 3,941
Posted By Elyan
What about hamster safety equipment? Hard hats,...

What about hamster safety equipment? Hard hats, reinforced boots and the like? They are always up to all sorts of dangerous things.

I suggest also hi-vis vests for other hamsters, who could direct...
Forum: General Discussion Yesterday, 11:09
Replies: 133
Views: 4,059
Posted By Elyan
I recall coming home aged 15 and telling my dad I...

I recall coming home aged 15 and telling my dad I had sex with the French teacher. "Corr... nice one son." he said.

Next day when I was on my way out he asked, "What are you up to today then son......
Forum: General Discussion Yesterday, 09:05
Replies: 73
Views: 1,342
Posted By Elyan
Same here. Chicken and pork should always be...

Same here.

Chicken and pork should always be handled hygienically and cooked thoroughly.
Forum: General Discussion Yesterday, 07:21
Replies: 184
Views: 3,941
Posted By Elyan
What would these hamster treats consist...

What would these hamster treats consist of?

Please don't say individually wrapped sunflower seeds.
Forum: Pets 27-05-2015, 08:21
Replies: 11
Views: 380
Posted By Elyan
I have a fairly large dog that keeps them out...

I have a fairly large dog that keeps them out when he's in the garden.

And if the see him as predator, they are certainly not put off by his faeces. In fact they thumb their nose by crapping right...
Forum: General Discussion 27-05-2015, 08:13
Replies: 330
Views: 11,270
Posted By Elyan
It may have been said in a moment of anger. It's...

It may have been said in a moment of anger. It's perfectly natural.
Forum: General Discussion 27-05-2015, 08:09
Replies: 45
Views: 1,737
Posted By Elyan
There's a fine line between liking a drink and...

There's a fine line between liking a drink and becoming an alcoholic - or even down and out.

Some huge event or other in your life might turn you to drinking more, then you may lose your job, your...
Forum: General Discussion 27-05-2015, 07:52
Replies: 49
Views: 1,528
Posted By Elyan
I enjoyed them when I was younger. I went to a...

I enjoyed them when I was younger.

I went to a local fair with my youngest son a few years ago, and he persuaded me to join him on this 'ride'. It wasn't at all enjoyable. Gone was the thrill I...
Forum: General Discussion 27-05-2015, 07:35
Replies: 105
Views: 3,826
Posted By Elyan
I suppose if he had suffered some pangs of guilt...

I suppose if he had suffered some pangs of guilt after hitting it with the bicycle pump, he could have fixed it with the puncture repair kit.
Forum: General Discussion 27-05-2015, 07:32
Replies: 22
Views: 645
Posted By Elyan
It depends on the circumstances. If I'm at home...

It depends on the circumstances.

If I'm at home watching something funny on the TV I occasionally laugh out loud. If on the other hand I am at a funeral, I probably wouldn't.
Forum: General Discussion 27-05-2015, 07:27
Replies: 330
Views: 11,270
Posted By Elyan
The end result is the same. Pain and suffering...

The end result is the same. Pain and suffering for others - to one degree or other.

I sympathise with people who might feel desperate enough to kill themselves, but people should also understand...
Forum: General Discussion 27-05-2015, 06:50
Replies: 330
Views: 11,270
Posted By Elyan
What about let's say someone who decides to...

What about let's say someone who decides to commit suicide by blowing themselves up in a crowded place? They have caused harm to others whilst in the act of ensuring their own death. Should we extend...
Forum: General Discussion 26-05-2015, 13:38
Replies: 89
Views: 2,509
Posted By Elyan
I have great concerns for attractive ladies when...

I have great concerns for attractive ladies when they are in the bath, that might drown or suffer some other misfortune.

I would put the magic ring to good and charitable use by spending my spare...
Forum: General Discussion 26-05-2015, 13:19
Replies: 330
Views: 11,270
Posted By Elyan
If people want to kill themselves they should do...

If people want to kill themselves they should do it in a way that doesn't affect others.

In the case of people who throw themselves in front of trains, the train drivers are particularly affected,...
Forum: Football 24-05-2015, 19:44
Replies: 308
Views: 9,242
Posted By Elyan
If after the last time spuds finished above us...

If after the last time spuds finished above us you had placed a 5 bet with some unfortunate front wheeler for the season 1996, then double or quitsed it every year since, your fiver would now be...
Forum: Football 24-05-2015, 19:39
Replies: 39
Views: 1,667
Posted By Elyan
West Ham fans have hounded Allardyce out, just as...

West Ham fans have hounded Allardyce out, just as Newcastle fans hounded Pardew out.

I think next season they'll struggle.
Forum: General Discussion 22-05-2015, 10:23
Replies: 1,170
Views: 34,261
Posted By Elyan
So gay people get to have freedom to live their...

So gay people get to have freedom to live their lives with freedom and equality, but women don't?

In a truly liberal and free country, the state should have no right to dictate to a woman whether...
Forum: General Discussion 22-05-2015, 09:20
Replies: 126
Views: 4,640
Posted By Elyan
Morning, Major. I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid the...

Morning, Major.
I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid the dining room door seems to have disappeared.
Oh, yes, so it has.
It used to be there.
I was silly enough to leave the hotel for a few minutes These...
Forum: General Discussion 22-05-2015, 08:34
Replies: 1,170
Views: 34,261
Posted By Elyan
I think the gay marriage thing will get a no vote.

I think the gay marriage thing will get a no vote.
Forum: General Discussion 22-05-2015, 08:32
Replies: 50
Views: 1,799
Posted By Elyan
Off white baggy y fronts with yellow stains on...

Off white baggy y fronts with yellow stains on the front and brown at the back.
Forum: General Discussion 22-05-2015, 07:57
Replies: 38
Views: 1,155
Posted By Elyan
These new batches of skunk are not good for...

These new batches of skunk are not good for anyone.

This would be the problem with legalising it. varieties like this brain-numbing skunk would still be outlawed. People wouldn't buy the legal,...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 492

 
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