It is brilliant, i had to read it several times
Apparently Terri is staying at Simon's house in LA while her place is having some work done. So poor old Kerching doesn't even have free reign of his gaff during their self imposed 'too busy to meet up' periods. Oh dear, the perks are slowing disappearing.
Maybe Si is worried about gatecrashers?
Apparently, Kerching has been booted out of Cowell Mansions and is sulking* I mean "catching up with family" at her parents house...no boyfriend, no job, paps no longer interested....do you think she is busy typing the finishing touches to her autobiography? £££ $$$
I bet there are 2 copies ready to be emailed to the printers...copy 1 with the tabloid busting, potentially dynamite extract "We never had sex!!!!!!!!" and the second, the toeing the company line... "His womanising drove me away" - which one makes it the presses will depend on the pay off cheque...