THE WEDDING EPISODE PART FOUR
Awwww no, only ten people have turned up. Emma's forced Phil to mingle, first of all he offers for people to have a photo taken with him (tumbleweed) then he goes and sits by some strangers and says nothing, therefore ruining the conversation they were having between themselves
I agree with Aud, the buffet looks dead nice. There's swiss roll, things on sticks, a quiche dish full of burnt custard, a bowlful of Wheelz crisps and la piece de resistance......a brain on a bed of olives and*stuff. Coloured food not necessary! White, brown or beige....no "plenty of fruit, plenty of veg" here.
Fair play to Aud, she's got much better social skills than Phil. She's thanked the caterers, and now she's sitting with the mischief ladies having a nice chat about stuff like photos of their old wedding dotted about the place. Naughty ladies say "You've not changed a bit and Phil's a very handsome man". Then Aud says alot of people think she's younger than she is, they all have a laugh.....even Aud (I think that was a bit of clever editing though). Aud would thrive in a day centre, or a weekly coffee morning. Phil would hate it cos he wouldn't be involved. Emotionally, he needs her more than she needs him. Oooooo, that was a bit deep.
Learn maths the Audrey Chawner way. If you have been married for 25 years, and you're 60 now, then how old were you when you got married?
Shhh, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, everyone, shhhhhh! Phil's doing a speech. Oh no his Songstar microphone is playing up. Norman Collier was funnier than this when his microphone never worked. Aahhhhh, it was Sam's butt blocking the wireless.
Phil's given Sam n Em £20 between them for organising the catastrophe. Emma says she can't accept it....oh I'm sure you can. Go on Em, take it, you earned it. What's the going rate for mucking up a p*** up in a brewery?*Now it's the throwing of the bouquet. Ace! Mad Flower Lady caught it! I like her, she talks like Pootle from the Flumps. Phil n Aud trip the light fantastic, then it's the chow down. And they all lived Chawnily ever after.
Bio are now recapping on all the years, money and freebies the chawnz have had. A fair amount of cash I reckon. Phil was offered a long term contract by the florist but after she made lots of phone calls and email he never showed up.
PHIL: I got an email saying be there on a certain day, I said "That's fine" but they never got back to me.
DAN: You see, I think they were expecting you to actually turn up on that day.
Phil's face does this :-\
Emma's turned her back on weightloss, Sam's got her job in F&B's but she keeps bringing fudge cakes home and has put a stone and a half on. Emma feels last because Sam's giving her parents money and she's not....well get a job and don't cause bother then! Aud's plan is to get the OK from the doctor and go to New Zealand.*
Over to you NZ!