I find the terms "bedded" and "romped" highly annoying, if only for the reason that no-one uses these terms in real life. These terms also seem to be exclusivley used for Premier League footballer and their "conquests"
Well, if you want words and phrases no one uses in real life, how about 'love child' = bastard; 'plunged' = fell. Every bloody holiday is a 'dream holiday', even though you might have spent just one crappy week in Toremolinos, the only place 'senior policeman' 'cry openly' is at funerals. People only seem to 'take off' as in scarper in the papers. And folk only ever seem to get 'outraged' in the papers. Then there are the names dreamed up by subs which become 'dubbed by the public', the public obliging by subsquently using the name. Another good example is Prince William being called 'Wills' by no one except the tabloids - certainly not by his parents, family or friends - purely because 'William' was a bastard of a name to get in a headline on a tabloid page. Incidentally, Princess Anne never told anyone to 'naff off'. She told them to **** off, but the subs decided to invent naff as they felt, in those days, they couldn't use the word **** (as of course you can't here on DS),