View Single Post
Old 10-01-2013, 19:36
Saltydog1955
Inactive Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,910
I don't have any more intimate knowledge of Elton and David's thoughts than you. Obviously they want a child and think they will love him or her - I just don't think that is the question we as a society should be asking when sanctioning the renting of wombs for money to buy babies. I think we should have regard to a child's needs and welfare through out his/her minority. We have rules in this country for the maximum age when couples or individuals, gay or straight, are permitted to adopt or, in the case of IVF, become mothers. They are not designed arbitrarily but because a child needs love, not just expressed as passing sentimentality, but in selfless care through infancy and adolescence, stability and boundaries. Of course, some parents die young or become ill but statistically, the chances of losing a parent at psychologically significant ages are massively increased if a parent is aged 50 or over, leaving aside the fact that the generation gap is significantly out of kilter. These two children will, as a fact, have both parents who are OAPs when they are young adolescents. One parent is highly unlikely (bearing in mind his health) to live to see them grow up. I add to that the fact that surrogacy raises significant psychological issues surrounding identity which are poorly understood at present (because surrogacy is a relatively new phenomenon) but, on the limited research we have suggest that such children are at increased risk of mental health problems and conduct disorders in adolescence. I personally think these factors are rather more important than the material advantages that wealthy people who can afford to buy children in middle and old age can offer, whatever 'loving' things they say!
As I've said on another thread, my own mother was 33 when I was born, my sister was born 10 years later. My dad was two years older than my mum. My sister always felt that our parents were too old when she was born as they were sometimes mistaken for her grandparents. Their attitudes - which were very old fashioned - were shaped by WW2 in which they both served. My grandmother was born in 1890, and had my mother when she was over 30, which makes my sister and I only one generation removed from the Victorians.

I like to think that any child born to older parents today wouldn't feel like my sister did and still does, despite our parents both being dead for nearly 20 years. I don't believe in women of over 50 becoming mothers, but I think that gay people wanting children is a different matter. Gay couples may leave it a long time to have children in their lives because they have to consider the pitfalls of parenthood even more deeply than hetero couples, and they have no choice but to go down the surrogacy route.
Saltydog1955 is offline   Reply With Quote