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Old 10-01-2013, 20:09
Forum Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Scotland
Posts: 9,298
Thanks for your post. I was expecting 'get over it' responses but both your and skp's posts are very kind.

Luckily the disgust aspect towards men has faded with further experience and obviously I am, ahem, more mature now but I have never been able to trust. I've always felt drawn towards my own sex, whether as a result who can say, but that was a no-go area in my youth so I did not go down that route.

Talking of disgust, that was expressed about same-sex relationships at the time I mention. As we see, much has changed there for the better. I feel cheated!
I hope its ok to say/I just wanted to say don't be so hard on yourself (although that can be easier said than done!). Trust is something thats earnt and shouldn't just automatically be there (as it were), its perfectly understandable and natural to find it difficult to trust after bad experiences... I probably trust other people, at least other women online certainly, a bit too much in talking about issues sometimes, yet I don't really trust myself, but I haven't really been abused as such, just embarrassed myself as a teen, to put it one way.

Yes, I'm sure this would be based on anecdotal evidence, women's shelters, rape crisis centres, perhaps even on surveys of people to see if they have been victims of sexual abuse.

I know that two extensive surveys conducted in the UK and Ireland in the last twenty years indicated that child sexual abuse is astonishingly high....perhaps as many as one or six or even one in five adults say they were molested as children.
I also wondered if their able to label it as rape even if the person denies that it was but I'd imagine the damage caused would be proof enough

Re the BIB - as many as that? thats surprising. I remember at school being taught the green cross code (with Tufty the squirrel ) from a young age and being warned about taking care with unfamiliar objects in the kitchen, all of that sort of safety education in the first year or two of school - I suppose they must have mentioned not to take sweets from strangers as well, I don't really remember for sure, although most people say your more likely to be hurt or abused by people known to your family rather than strangers.

I really can't remember being taught about having a right to comfort zones and not letting people get too close to your body when your young or anything like that, which would obviously be the right sort of message but I guess parents would complain if they thought very young children were being introduced to things at too young an age? the basic concept should be brought up, in a way they can understand, even if briefly, if it can help highlight when something isn't right... self respect is a very important thing to learn, something some people don't have enough of (myself included, very much so).
IzzyS is offline