Hi Vatican Guys!
Iíve heard that some Benedict bloke has left ya in the lurch. My name is Pedah Andre, and Iím here to help.
Just a few things first: I wanna keep doing my ITV2 reality show, as itís important for Catholics to see their Pope being a great Dad as well as a spiritual leader [am loving the sound of the ĎHoly Fatherí title already - LOL! ].
Iíll also keep my weekly new
! magazine column going, as itís a great way to reach out to those of my fans who canít read so good [even the non catholic ones].
As Pope Iíll be able to do even more to show that Iím a caring forgiving kind of bloke; top of the list will be to give my dear ex-wife, Sister Kate, a job managing a Convent somewhere really quiet where there are no men. Sheíll really appreciate the opportuniddy to repent her many sins!
Fire up the Popemobile*, Ďcos here I come [*it will only need a lick of paint, a new Ferrari engine and some kiddie seats]
x [ <- Iím getting into the roman numerals thing already, as yícan see - lol]
cc. Council Of Valetta, Malta.