Hi Vatican Guys!
I’ve heard that some Benedict bloke has left ya in the lurch. My name is Pedah Andre, and I’m here to help.
Just a few things first: I wanna keep doing my ITV2 reality show, as it’s important for Catholics to see their Pope being a great Dad as well as a spiritual leader [am loving the sound of the ‘Holy Father’ title already - LOL! ].
I’ll also keep my weekly
new! magazine column going, as it’s a great way to reach out to those of my fans who can’t read so good [even the non catholic ones].
As Pope I’ll be able to do even more to show that I’m a caring forgiving kind of bloke; top of the list will be to give my dear ex-wife, Sister Kate, a job managing a Convent somewhere really quiet where there are no men. She’ll really appreciate the opportuniddy to repent her many sins!
Fire up the Popemobile*, ‘cos here I come
[*it will only need a lick of paint, a new Ferrari engine and some kiddie seats].
Pedah x [ <- I’m getting into the roman numerals thing already, as y’can see - lol]
cc. Council Of Valetta, Malta.
