This week's columns tick practically every box on the Bingo card. List of expensive beauty treatments pre date with FRS, only to see said date cancelled at last minute? Check! Spiteful misogynistic rant? Check! Shameless attempt to rewrite history re previous spiteful rants, (the Clare Balding column is available to read online, Liz, so it;s no good trying to claim you weren't nasty about her)? Check! Passive-aggressive shoehorning in of heartstring-tugging dying-animal anecdote to make sure we know she's a VICTIM and an ANIMAL-LOVER and CANNOT THEREFORE BE CRITICISED NO MATTER WHAT SHE DOES!
Check! A cliffhanger-ending involving possible serious horse illness, miraculously turning out to be a false alarm. Check!
Most unpleasant of all is the simmering undercurrent of casual viciousness that seeps through her every word. When people lean close to her so she can hear them speak, she's "tempted to punch them".
When women flirt, she says: "I want to rip off their push-up bras so their breasts sag to their waists and shove a dipstick in their ears (behind which they are always twirling their hair in a manner they have read is seductive) to discern whether or not they actually have a brain."
Really nasty stuff. Is this the sort of thing her defenders find "witty" and "warm", I wonder?
And don't get me started on the story about the "farmer's wife". I wonder whether this woman (presumably identifiable to those in the area) has read the column, and if she agrees with Liz's version of the incident? It's a pretty extreme accusation, after all. If someone threatened to "beat you up" and commit arson on your property, would you just casually mention it in passing, without calling the police or treating it as the big deal it is? Especially if you were the sort of person, as Liz is, who seizes upon every possible tiny grievance and milks it to death, endlessly?