I tend to agree with you, but the writers are so skillful that I wonder how we'll see it initially, until we've had time to analyze it closer. They have always done such a good job of making Martin seem like the bad guy in the relationship, but we have figured out that Louisa has her issues. But I do think we saw him basically embracing a family life style in S5, taking care of family, home, and job in a very conventional way. Now he just needs to see to his woman, too!! and we'll all be happy.
I think why I have such a different take on things is that I understand men like Martin having dealt with many like him in my life, having to become that way myself in order to do my job and having been married to a person that was very much like him in this particular context. These are people who are used to being in command, be it an army battalion or a surgical team-they bark and people jump. Being and showing any emotion is a huge detriment and people who do not have tightly controlled emotions will not succeed at these positions. These are people who do not sit down and talk about their feelings, they are not 'sensitive' and they find highly emotional people confusing at best and distasteful and unreliable at worst. They can be very passionate, loving and caring but in their own way
A highly emotional being like Louisa might as well be speaking Swahili when she wants to discuss relationships, emotions and feelings with Martin. He simply does not understand what she is trying to say no matter how much he may want to-he has no true reference. She has to learn to communicate with him in a way he understands and then they can move forward. She is the one that has to bridge the gap because he can not, he doesn't have the first clue how to.
Her becoming 'Our Lady of the Presumptious Assumptions' (as she often does), getting angry, frustrated, argumentative and then walking away only serves to make Martin either shut down and tune her out or get so frustrated with her that he lashes out. Eventually he wll decide that despite what feelings and emotions he has towards her and James Henry it just is not worth the acrimony and walking away would be beneficial to all parties involved.
If she wants to have a successful relationship with Martin she needs to deal with him with a cool head, calmly, patiently (and without any interruption) so he can understand what she is trying to say to him, what she needs and desires in their relationship and as a family. She also needs to be patient and allow Martin the time to formulate his answers in expressing his feelings-it is hard for him for he is trying to speak a language he doesn't know well at all. If she does this he will respond positivly and will eventually become what she desires (for the most part). She is a teacher and if she is half the teacher she is made out to be she should understand this.
That is why I maintain that it will be Louisa, not Martin, that makes or breaks the relationship.