I think you're being a bit over dramatic.
I'm a gay man and I'd love nothing more than to start a family when I'm older with my partner of 6 years however I do think that because we obviously can't have children naturally then it is a little my responsibility to adopt/foster from the thousands of children out there who haven't been given what they deserve in life. I would feel guilty going down the surrogate route and I think anyone doing this or IVF really should at least consider adoption first.
But it's a choice. Having a choice isn't dramatic. Adption isn't as easy. In this country a lot of babies dont tend to get adopted until they are nearly 1 by the time the court processes have ended. A baby could have been taken away from it's parents, placed in emergency foster care, then long term foster care, then come to you, the long term foster carer might want to adopt the baby, the parents might prevent the adoption, meaning you have no rights. Plus lots of people only want to adopt babies, meaning the toddlers, the young children extra, move around foster place to foster placement, so by the time the child is adopted they are so damaged and have no trust in 'adults' who are supposed to make them safe, their behavour deteriorates, they disengage, they can be withdrawn, non compliant etc and the number of adoptions that break down is stupidly high.
Adoption is not an alternative to surrocacy. IMO. They are very seperate issues. Which people chose to do for very different reasons.
If you want to adopt, adopt. If a person wants surrocacy, use surrocacy. If a person wants to try IVF, try IVF. You choose to do what is right for you. Gay, heterosexual, bisexual, low sperm count, Inhospitable womb, whatever...it's no one else's decision.