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Old 03-04-2013, 11:43
Miriam_R
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,608
An U.K actor getting some big films now. Was openly gay here did interviews and everything, goes over to the U.S and has a "girlfriend" a PA to be exactly, the laziest of beards you can get.
Oh I see, ok.
Is there any possibility that he was actually Bi and not gay? Or was he always adamant in interviews that he was gay. I know some Bi people that just call themselves gay because they don't ever want to be mistaken for being straight but don't want the attached stigma of the Bi label. Of course I find it more typical when Bi people tend to refrain from calling themselves any label at all and just allow themselves to viewed ambiguously in the eyes of others, but the odd few I strangely find liked to be called gay even though they happily admit to firmly liking the opposite sex and will never limit themselves to one gender.

At the end of the day, being Bi means you like both, it doesn't state the degrees to which you like either gender, and it doesn't mean that you can't still be Bi even if you have a much larger pref for one sex/gender than the other. Being Bi doesn't rigidly equate to liking males and females 50/50, it's just recognising that you like them both whatever the split percentage, and whatever changing percentage sometimes as well. If, say, a Bi man (and not a gay man just using the label Bi label during a confusing transitioning phase) was in a relationship with another man, he wouldn't suddenly stop being Bi and stop liking women just because he was in what would be called a gay relationship. And vice versa if he was in a relationship with a woman instead (that would be viewed as a straight relationship) he wouldn't suddenly stop being Bi and liking men. A Bi person is Bi not just when they're single but still Bi when they enter a relationship with a man or a women. They are Bi throughout all their relationships just like straight and gay people are straight gay throughout all their relationships. Only difference is as opposed to gay and straight people that will have a relationship timeline of all men or all women throughout their lives, Bi people will have a timeline of men and women (whatever the number count of males v females) throughout theirs. I would predict there are lots of Bi people that, because of a much larger pref towards one sex, choose to just call themselves gay or straight instead depending on where the pref lies.

As for this actor, maybe he's just doing the reverse of what so called straight people do when they spend years living a straight life and then suddenly come out gay (even though I believe you're just born with the inbuilt attraction to men, women or both and it's just the realisation of what you like that may only dawn on people later on depending on life circumstances). If the gay community believe this actor is only gay and using a female to further his career then (very sadly) so be it, his life is his own and it will be his lie to live with, and I doubt he needs the gay community on his back if this is the sad length that he has to go to to further his career in the US (if indeed he is firmly gay and not Bi or just sexuality fluid which too could be possible). I understand why gay fans of his might be deeply annoyed and feel he's doing a disservice to them, but, calling him a Judas will just make him feel even worse about himself if he indeed walking back into the closet.
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