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Old 15-04-2013, 21:52
Von Trapp
Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Hull
Posts: 368
Assuming that this walnut-faced pube-haired gurn on a stick began having sex at the age of 14, given he's now 24, that gives us 10 years of sexual activity.

Given he claims to have 'stopped' when in 'serious relationships' and given that for a relationship to be considered serious I think we can reasonably say it has to have lasted at least 3 months and upward. He says 'serious relationships' as a plural, so let's take a conservative estimate and shave 2 years for times when he was in a monogamous relationship.

Even this Wayne-Rooney-looking-in-the-back-of-a-spoon-alike lothario must get ill some of the time (weeping sores around the genitals, for instance), so let's knock 6 further months off for illness, rest, penile-reattachment surgery etc.

That leaves us with 7 years and 6 months, so roughly one new conquest every 2.7 days.

What can we possibly declare other than that this charmingly gormless belm-mugged Casanova of the 21st century is a very discerning young man. Or a lying halfwit. I'm undecided.
They must have been throwing themselves at him when he pops to the shop! Unless he has out on the pull every 2 days since he was 14. BTW never heard of him until this thread never watched TOWIE and feel far superior for it as well!
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