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Old 30-04-2013, 19:44
Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 58,225
"Hi, I'm Natalie Cassidy. Do you want a body like mine? Well, it's easy.

Firstly; eat lots of pies. Then, using the stupd amounts of money you get from your horrendous presenting skills and awful acting ability, hire a personal trainer, and lose the weight you've gained. Then earn lots of money from the fitness video.

Now comes the important bit. You have to do the whole thing all over again! Don't be lazy - back to the pies, people! We need to get that body nice and chunky again so we can lose the weight once more. Ignore the fact that yo-yo weight is deeply unhealthy, just pig out.

And, then it's time for your second fitness video! Don't worry, there are muppets out there who will still buy this rubbish the second time round, irrespective of the fact that you've shown yourself to have no willpower whatsoever so are hardly someone who should be preaching about weightloss. They'll lap it up, anyway. Cos they're thick. I love the British public, don't you?

And that's my five-step program. Can I have my 14 now?"

"Come on girls, get them cakes down your neck. You need to be ready for my next DVD which I'll sell to you in 18 months time".
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