Good post, AOTB.
1) I'm glad for those who don't understand why, I hope they and their loved-ones never end up in a situation where they do get to understand it. It would be nice though if they could just accept that years of nightmares, fear, shame and messed-up relationships as a result of such abuse were at least a possibility and that most abuse survivors are not interested in receiving any kind of financial recompense. Firstly because there is no money in the world that can give you back what was taken and secondly because it would truly be filthy lucre.
2) Abuse is subjective and what may just be something to shrug off for one person could be really frightening for another. I agree with AOTB that all instances should be investigated to get a complete picture and that these things should be left to the police and legal system. It's time to have an honest debate about attitudes towards sex and the abuse of power, because that, ultimately is what this kind of abuse is about.
I have to stop now before I go into a right angry rant.
I agree. Regarding the second point, I'm certain some things affect some people alot more than others. People have different personalities and mature at different ages, we're all individuals. Some may well be better able to shrug things off than others.
Some may have had body issues and self esteem issues before being assaulted or groped and such an act could have a somewhat profound effect on them, how they see themselves, how they think others will see them etc. I know how I felt after things - some people would laugh or shrug such things off and others take them to heart alot more. Its always been in the back of my mind that if I ever tried to get to know a guy, I'd have to explain why I'd feel uncomfortable getting close which is something I'd find quite difficult, even though it was pretty much my fault, I feel I let myself down badly, even though the other people were older and should have known better than to push me to talk about such things. I definitely still have shame over such things that happened 13-14 odd years ago, its a bit ridiculous but it is what it is, you cant necessarily help how you feel. I can only imagine how some people may have felt if they were assaulted as a young teen or younger, especially if it was out of the blue, thats pretty horrible
I feel guilty for hinting at my own things because it cant really compare at all to what happened to his victims but its the only similar experience I've had and I know it affected me certainly to some extent - when the news hit late last year about all of this, it made me think about the men back then that I'd trusted and talked about things I shouldn't have and it made me very sad to think how much more hurt and upset the victims must feel who will have no doubt gone through much, much worse than me.
Its sad there's the risk some could be, as others fear, over exaggerating claims, trying to make money out of such things (note I said 'could be' and not are). I also wouldn't classify more minor assaults etc. as on the same level as child abuse or rape but I do think minor 'incidents' have the potential to have lasting effects for some, less self assured people (I hope this makes some sense? pardon my long posts again(!)). Each case should be taken on its own merits I suppose? I don't know.
Watching today's news he has now been accused of molesting a 5 year old!
Makes me stomach churn knowing this vile man was able to abuse so many people in front of police and hospital workers.
The thing they should do is wipe every recording ever made of this scum bag and remove his knighthood to go with it, as long as he keeps appearing on TV and being heard on radio his victims are suffering more for it.
To be fair, I doubt any broadcaster would decide to show footage of him on TV or on the radio anymore. The only exceptions likely would be when they show brief (unaudible?) clips during news segments about reports such as today.
The mans dead, you can demolish his grave, you can remove a title, you can wipe music shows if you wish, all that means is people dont get to see bits of music ( I doubt anyone will rerun Jim'll Fix It ) , it doesn't punish him and will never put right what he did wrong
He was clever he hid in the most public way possible, a true narcissit who fooled most people , we can look to blame people some who are innocent as they were fooled like his viewers , instead of concentrating on how to punish a corpse it would be better to see if the victims can be helped even after all these years and look at ways to make sure no one can get away with it again so easily.