We could do with Bellagio today; I counted about ten different recycled anecdotes in today's Mail (the plastic pearls story, the horrid petrol station men who didn't rush out to give her her credit card, the heartwrenching "I am so lucky" comment from her mum in response to the tulips, the Tupperware container of biscuits at the wedding....
Shall we all place bets on which familiar tales will pop up in next week's instalment? I'm guessing it will be wall-to-wall sniping at her sisters, being stood up on Milennium Eve, the ex-husband buying small earrings that "only" cost £300...Honestly, do you think there are people out there who just can't hear all these endlessly-rehashed anecdotes often enough and think "I simply MUST own a book containing all these stories that she's told a hundred times in her column?"
Oh, and to save everyone the trouble of reading the Diary, here it is in a nutshell: Took dog for walk. Dog ran away. Dog came back.