Well, at least there's one high-profile media outlet that isn't exactly "sucking Cowell's love muscle."
Simon Cowell's Baby Mama Lauren Silverman: I Have a Resilient Vagina!
Forget the miracle of childbirth ... Lauren Silverman has a miraculous vag ... briskly walking through a department store 3 days after giving birth.
What makes it even more spectacular is that she's walking around in skintight leather pants.
Mind you baby Eric made his debut at 6 lbs 7 oz.
This is Lauren's second kid ... so maybe it's a little easier -- but still, she's a true champ!