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Boyfriends mother rant

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    stoatiestoatie Posts: 78,106
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    Tt88 wrote: »
    I cant imagine sleeping through the squeaking or 20 wheels all going round at night.

    Just think of how much you'd save on electricity bills, though.
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    Sunset DaleSunset Dale Posts: 1,732
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    its hot because we get the sun from the hottest part of the day till it sets, even before we had the hamsters it was hot, the kitchen is hit too because like the sitting room it gets the heat from the hottest part till it sets

    my eczema it triggered by the heat not pets

    Go somewhere cold then, and Im sure you can find someone to look in on your zoo. I can't believe your boyfriend doesn't like holidays, everyone needs to get away to relax. Maybe he's just saying that to make you happy?
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    Wee TinkersWee Tinkers Posts: 12,782
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    I just can't stand her, she's always butting in and trying to control things, giving us "suggestions" we don't want

    My in-laws were like that. I used to let it wind me up but in hindsight I realise they don't mean any harm. They're just overbearing gobshites by nature. Try to turn the other cheek for your own sake. Take a deep breath, say aye, alright, let it wash over and then go and ring a friend and have a giggle about it.

    My mil used to insist we go to Benidorm. Couldn't accept why we wouldn't heed their advice. I let that go. It's annoying but not really a biggie.

    It did come to a head when she took a strop at my son's christening over the head of the guest list. She acted like a brat and refused to get in the pictures. After the christening I read her up. Years of frustration came out of me. It was all awfully melodramatic. 'You wouldn't treat (your daughters kids) like that and by god you WON'T treat MY. Son. Like. That. The aul' da tried to patronise me saying he hoped I would someday find forgiveness in my angry heart. I believe I hissed at him to not dare bloody preach at me. Embarrassingly melodramatic but boy it felt good.

    No one had ever stood up to them before, they knew they were out of order and they never over step the mark now.
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    Sunset DaleSunset Dale Posts: 1,732
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    I don't expect family to take care of pets that are our responsibility

    Well that's daft. It's your responsibility to look after them and when you go away make sure they are cared for, either by family, friends or by bribing someone with a bit of money. You don't have to expect them to take care of them, you go to them and ask if they will. Pets don't stop anyone else from going on a holiday. So it's a poor excuse.

    If you insist upon being so stubborn then I think your boyfriend should go away by himself for a bit of a break. Then you can look after your zoo. You shouldn't stop your bofyriend going on holiday, he will need one. Just doesn't want to make you unhappy.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,510
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    Well that's daft. It's your responsibility to look after them and when you go away make sure they are cared for, either by family, friends or by bribing someone with a bit of money. You don't have to expect them to take care of them, you go to them and ask if they will. Pets don't stop anyone else from going on a holiday. So it's a poor excuse.

    If you insist upon being so stubborn then I think your boyfriend should go away by himself for a bit of a break. Then you can look after your zoo. You shouldn't stop your bofyriend going on holiday, he will need one. Just doesn't want to make you unhappy.

    He's probably gone away with his mates for some peace
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    floogfloog Posts: 981
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    Boyfriend phoned his mother earlier and she was like, you two should go on holiday, there's a few problems with that

    We have pets (small furry) would be unfair to have to get a family member to come check on them daily

    I'm disabled and have a lot of problems with it, being sensitive to heat being one of them, there's no way I can cool down when I'm out

    Urgh, why can't she just butt out, just because she and her husband like going away a lot doesn't mean we want to!

    Someone suggested you should go on holiday - how awful for you.
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    Wee TinkersWee Tinkers Posts: 12,782
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    Oh. :blush: I'm not sure what I've done but somehow I only read the first page and completely missed all the rest. Strange. I'm blaming my phone. Mainly. There's also the Saturday vegetative procrastination thing i've got going on at the moment which is giving me the brain fog.

    I thought the OP was genuine. I thought the mil wasn't so bad but could be overbearing and get in your wick. I related. I should know better on DS. I'm curious as to what the gist is but not enough to read back, what, 11 pages of what seems to largely be the names of many mice.
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    IyahIyah Posts: 194
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    I have to call bullshit on this story.

    OP you claims your eczema stops you from going on holiday but I've seen first hand how the sun in climates like the Caribbean or Mediterranean can clear it up completely. Also the cold is a terrible irritant as it dries out the skin.
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    Wee TinkersWee Tinkers Posts: 12,782
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    Iyah wrote: »
    I have to call bullshit on this story.

    OP you claims your eczema stops you from going on holiday but I've seen first hand how the sun in climates like the Caribbean or Mediterranean can clear it up completely. Also the cold is a terrible irritant as it dries out the skin.

    That's usually the case but not always, and not for everyone. Often the sun clears my psoriasis up but sometimes it has actually gotten much worse in the sun/heat. Not sure why. I couldn't confidently assume op is not telling the truth about that.

    Mind you, it has crossed my mind that the op just doesn't want to go on holiday and may use the skin and pets to justify it to people who don't understand that. My folks don't want to go abroad. In-laws can't get their heads round that and harp on and on at them about the ambrosia of the all-inclusive package deal. My folks use their dogs as an excuse to try and shut them up.

    If op doesn't want a holiday and mil refuses to accept that I can understand why she's fed up with her going on about it, particularly if she's a habit of forthrightness about other things. Wanting entirely different things than your partner is a different matter though.
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    burton07burton07 Posts: 10,874
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    I've come back to this thread this morning and I can't believe DS'ers are still bullying this poor girl because neither she or her boyfriend don't want to go on holiday. I admire EbonyHamster for her calm responses to bullying threads and for the fact that she comes back to answer people even when they are calling her names.

    Her boyfriend is quite happy to not go away on holiday. Why can't you lot accept that? Is it so hard?

    It's been a long time since I've seen such relentless unnecessary bullying on here (and that's coming from someone who likes nothing better that winding up trolls).

    FFS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO ON HOLIDAY AND NEITHER DOES HER BOYFRIEND.
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    IyahIyah Posts: 194
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    That's usually the case but not always, and not for everyone. Often the sun clears my psoriasis up but sometimes it has actually gotten much worse in the sun/heat. Not sure why. I couldn't confidently assume op is not telling the truth about that.

    Mind you, it has crossed my mind that the op just doesn't want to go on holiday and may use the skin and pets to justify it to people who don't understand that. My folks don't want to go abroad. In-laws can't get their heads round that and harp on and on at them about the ambrosia of the all-inclusive package deal. My folks use their dogs as an excuse to try and shut them up.

    If op doesn't want a holiday and mil refuses to accept that I can understand why she's fed up with her going on about it, particularly if she's a habit of forthrightness about other things. Wanting entirely different things than your partner is a different matter though.


    I can understand that, I'm not really big on holidays myself. Its all well and good living in luxury for a few weeks but I'd rather spend that money making my reality better. Not to say I never go on holiday but it's not that high on my list of priorities.

    If you don't like holidays that's fair enough just say! It's when all the indepth excuses start coming out I have to start giving the side eye.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,899
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    burton07 wrote: »
    I've come back to this thread this morning and I can't believe DS'ers are still bullying this poor girl because neither she or her boyfriend don't want to go on holiday. I admire EbonyHamster for her calm responses to bullying threads and for the fact that she comes back to answer people even when they are calling her names.

    Her boyfriend is quite happy to not go away on holiday. Why can't you lot accept that? Is it so hard?

    It's been a long time since I've seen such relentless unnecessary bullying on here (and that's coming from someone who likes nothing better that winding up trolls).

    FFS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO ON HOLIDAY AND NEITHER DOES HER BOYFRIEND.
    And who is bullying her? And why shout? :confused:

    If the OP does not want to go on holiday, she should tell her boyfriend's mum that she doesn't want to go rather than complaining about her on a forum and making excuses not to go.
    I don't think her boyfriend's mum is trying to force them to go on the holiday, she's just trying to make sure they have a good time.
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    Wee TinkersWee Tinkers Posts: 12,782
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    burton07 wrote: »
    I've come back to this thread this morning and I can't believe DS'ers are still bullying this poor girl because neither she or her boyfriend don't want to go on holiday. I admire EbonyHamster for her calm responses to bullying threads and for the fact that she comes back to answer people even when they are calling her names.

    Her boyfriend is quite happy to not go away on holiday. Why can't you lot accept that? Is it so hard?

    It's been a long time since I've seen such relentless unnecessary bullying on here (and that's coming from someone who likes nothing better that winding up trolls).

    FFS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO ON HOLIDAY AND NEITHER DOES HER BOYFRIEND.

    Thanks for this post Burton. I wish I'd read all of the thread now. I wasn't entirely sure what had occurred; I initially took it at face value and it had crossed my mind EbonyH just didn't want a hol, as i've said, but when I flicked over a few posts taking the piss I thought people knew something I didn't and it was a wind up, otherwise some people were just being unkind. I should've known better. That's the internet. People taking moral highground on political and ethical issues on one thread and then being thoroughly unsympathetic and unpleasant to some poor sod on another. I have to check myself sometimes. Faceless forum posting can bring out the worst in us sometimes.
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    burton07burton07 Posts: 10,874
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    No doubt the boyfriend would never come back!
    MargMck wrote: »
    Yes really. The circumstances sound like he needs and deserves a holiday.
    cris182 wrote: »
    Woe is me
    kippeh wrote: »
    Sounds to me like making any excuse not to go. "I'm disabled" "I have too many pets" "I can't stand the heat"
    Odd Socks wrote: »
    Your mother-in-law sounds like a caring, decent woman concerned about the welfare of you and her son. A holiday can be a really good thing for your health and for the mental health of your partner. He's not just your carer, he's a person who cannot be expected to work 24/7 without a break and he's this woman's son.

    Stop over-reacting and stop giving someone a hard time over a simple suggestion that means nothing. Perhaps a holiday would help you get things in perspective.
    kevraff wrote: »
    You say your partner "wouldn't like it". It sounds to me as if you're quite selfish - have you actually asked his opinion?

    I wonder if the suggestion is as much his as it is his mother's.
    dearmrman wrote: »
    I do. Don't believe a thing the OP has said.
    Cant help thinking that if the roles were reversed the words " You're a control freak" would have come up about three pages back.
    Trudi Monk wrote: »
    How about having a holiday in Dumbo?
    ( Other bridges are available)
    Croctacus wrote: »
    I bet he would but is probably shit scared of suggesting it in case you went off on one.
    I think they are imaginary.
    Vast_Girth wrote: »
    If i was the OPs boyfriend, i would definitely need a holiday!
    JJ75 wrote: »
    That sounds like hell.
    Odd Socks wrote: »
    It's good for partners to do their own thing from time to time. It's very unhealthy to not have separate interests or activities.

    Anyway, the point isn't whether or not you think your boyfriend wants a holiday but he could have one if he wanted to, right?
    robo2 wrote: »
    its worse for your boyfriend he also has to lsten to the suggestions, then has to listen to you moaning about it
    tim59 wrote: »
    How would you feel if your boyfriend wanted a holiday, with or without you, at the end of the day looking after a disabled person can really take it out of that person and alot of the time they need time to recharge thier batteries back up, as it is a very hard demanding job
    pugamo wrote: »
    I don't think he is allowed to want to do things without OP

    The above aren't bullying then?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,899
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    burton07 wrote: »
    The above aren't bullying then?

    Not all of them are though.
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    MargMckMargMck Posts: 24,115
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    burton07 wrote: »
    The above aren't bullying then?

    No.:D
    Someone comes on here, yes here, an internet forum, and slags someone else for suggesting they have a nice holiday.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,313
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    burton07 wrote: »
    I've come back to this thread this morning and I can't believe DS'ers are still bullying this poor girl because neither she or her boyfriend don't want to go on holiday. I admire EbonyHamster for her calm responses to bullying threads and for the fact that she comes back to answer people even when they are calling her names.

    Her boyfriend is quite happy to not go away on holiday. Why can't you lot accept that? Is it so hard?

    It's been a long time since I've seen such relentless unnecessary bullying on here (and that's coming from someone who likes nothing better that winding up trolls).

    FFS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO ON HOLIDAY AND NEITHER DOES HER BOYFRIEND.

    Hang on, we only have the OPs word for it her boyfriend doesn't want to go, that she'd 'rethink' the relationship if he did go. Then of course, that they even go to the loo together.

    If real - it's disturbing and the OP needs a wake up call

    If not real (most likely) - then why can't people feed the troll?

    I don't see any bullying in what you posted, only home truths or playing with troll.
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    domedome Posts: 55,878
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    One needs to question why anyone would post the thread in the first place. Most have far more concerning things happening in their lives than someone suggesting they might take or need a holiday.

    They need a mumsnet type forum for the childless, it would fit in perfectly there.
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    rbdcayrbdcay Posts: 12,041
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    burton07 wrote: »
    I've come back to this thread this morning and I can't believe DS'ers are still bullying this poor girl because neither she or her boyfriend don't want to go on holiday. I admire EbonyHamster for her calm responses to bullying threads and for the fact that she comes back to answer people even when they are calling her names.

    Her boyfriend is quite happy to not go away on holiday. Why can't you lot accept that? Is it so hard?

    It's been a long time since I've seen such relentless unnecessary bullying on here (and that's coming from someone who likes nothing better that winding up trolls).

    FFS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO ON HOLIDAY AND NEITHER DOES HER BOYFRIEND.

    Oh ho here comes the moral crusader. You obviously can't see through a WUM and are very gullible. Please this is nothing more than whinge and there is no "bullying". It's a great buzzword to useon a forum to make it seem like you are such a concerned person but this not bullying and you should be ashamed of using that word when there is more horrendous bullying going on in the world.
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    Wee TinkersWee Tinkers Posts: 12,782
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    Iyah wrote: »
    I can understand that, I'm not really big on holidays myself. Its all well and good living in luxury for a few weeks but I'd rather spend that money making my reality better. Not to say I never go on holiday but it's not that high on my list of priorities.

    If you don't like holidays that's fair enough just say! It's when all the indepth excuses start coming out I have to start giving the side eye.
    Ramo1234 wrote: »
    And who is bullying her? And why shout? :confused:

    If the OP does not want to go on holiday, she should tell her boyfriend's mum that she doesn't want to go rather than complaining about her on a forum and making excuses not to go.
    I don't think her boyfriend's mum is trying to force them to go on the holiday, she's just trying to make sure they have a good time.
    MargMck wrote: »
    No.:D
    Someone comes on here, yes here, an internet forum, and slags someone else for suggesting they have a nice holiday.

    I can understand what you are saying, but I think EbonyH has made it clear to mil that they don't want a holiday and still mil goes on about it. Not the biggest deal in the world but annoying nonetheless.

    Some people just don't get that others may just not want what they want. My inlaws are exactly like that. I wish I'd thought of coming to vent about them on a forum instead of spitting some hammy soap opera lines at them.

    Sometimes it's hard to justify something to someone who doesn't get it and you just start saying anything in a bid to get them to put a sock in it.

    We love caravanning (for shame) but our friends like more far flung destinations - up the side of mountains in China, biking around S. America and the like. The hubby doesn't understand how we prefer a tin box to discovering the world. My goodness, but he would go on given the chance. Fortunately the wife knows me so well she puts a stop to his preaching with a STFU.
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    MargMckMargMck Posts: 24,115
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    Odd Socks wrote: »
    Hang on, we only have the OPs word for it her boyfriend doesn't want to go, that she'd 'rethink' the relationship if he did go. Then of course, that they even go to the loo together.

    If real - it's disturbing and the OP needs a wake up call

    If not real (most likely) - then why can't people feed the troll?

    I don't see any bullying in what you posted, only home truths or playing with troll.

    Indeed. In some ways you have to hand it to the OP. Over the course of the 11 pages of what has been an entertaining thread (when you consider the apparent narrowness of the opening post) we've had the interesting illnesses, that they work together, live in a small, hot flat with some 40 plus rodents and never do anything without the other one in tow.

    And now someone's helped out by dumping that old favourite ' bullying' on the table. I do hope it doesn't take the thread off course.

    See, having been a hamster and gerbil keeper myself for many years, I'm aware that the little furries generally only live 18 months to four years if you are lucky. So I want to know...
    a) does the OP replace them as they pop off, with a joint trip to the pet shop?
    b) are they allowing their own tribe to breed?
    c) yes... how do they put up with all the bloody wheel noise?
    d) is the holiday fear based on the probable death of a mouse while away on jollies, and is this connected to guilt or fear of an unsuitable burial?

    If this can be accomplished without the thread moving to pets forum I will be happy.
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    AOTBAOTB Posts: 9,708
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    burton07 wrote: »
    The above aren't bullying then?

    I'm not convinced you know what bullying is...

    Just saying and please don't start to bully me for this. ;-)
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    Speak-SoftlySpeak-Softly Posts: 24,737
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    I think the OP should get a cat.:o
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    MargMckMargMck Posts: 24,115
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    I think the OP should get a cat.:o

    I see the thread possibilities here.
    The OP bows to "bullying":D on DS and by mother-in-law and goes on holiday with boyfriend. They both hate every minute of it.
    They come back to discover mother in law 'accidentally' ;-) let neighbour's cat in while feeding/ watering rodents and there has been a massacre.:o
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    shmiskshmisk Posts: 7,963
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    You know what- don't want to go on holiday it's not against the law!
    But I general the population enjoy a holiday. And ask others about them as routine- I get asked at work every few day

    Don't want to go? Smile and change the subject.

    You don't need to make excuses. I don't watch soaps and say "I don't want to watch soaps" just be honest
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