Best Dr Who Jokes

[Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,229
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Lay 'em on me..:cool:


"What Do We Want?"

"Time Travel!!"

"When do We Want it?"

"That's Irrevelant"

Comments

  • chuffnobblerchuffnobbler Posts: 10,771
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    Knock knock

    Who's there?

    Doctor.

    Doctor who?
  • thorterrthorterr Posts: 110
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    from a dalek

    YOUR MOTHER is so INFERIOR that when the CYBERMEN tried to UPGRADE her, they had to SETTLE for WINDOWS 3.1
    YOUR MOTHER is so HAIRY that she makes CHEWBACCA look RAXACORICOFALLAPATORIAN!
    YOUR MOTHER is so PROMISCUOUS that, LIKE a TARDIS, whomever ENTERS her is SURPRISED at how BIG she is on the INSIDE.
    YOUR MOTHER is so MASSIVE if SHE were A TIME LORD, her TARDIS CHAMELEON CIRCUIT would DISGUISE it as a BURGER KING.
    YOUR MOTHER is so MASSIVE that the CRACKS in the UNIVERSE were REALLY caused by HER taking ZUMBA CLASSES.
    DID it HURT, DOCTOR? When you FELL out of the MANSLUT tree and BANGED all of your COMPANIONS on the way DOWN?
    YOUR MOTHER is so INTELLECTUALLY INFERIOR that she used WHITE-OUT on the PSYCHIC PAPER.
    YOUR MOTHER is so INFERIOR that when 'The Library' SAVED her, it used a 3 1/2″ FLOPPY DISK.
    YOUR MOTHER is so UNATTRACTIVE that she is LISTED in the TARDIS DATABANK'S "WHO'S-WHO" as "WHAT'S THAT?"
    YOUR MOTHER is so UNATTRACTIVE that the WEEPING ANGELS turn to STONE when THEY observe HER.
    YOUR MOTHER possesses so much MASS that the DALEKS used HER as the 28TH PLANET in the MEDUSA CASCADE.
    YOUR MOTHER is so UNATTRACTIVE that THE SILENCE wish THEY could FORGET HER!
    YOUR MOTHER is so MASSIVE that if the CYBERMEN UPGRADED her, she would become UNICRON from TRANSFORMERS.
    YOUR MOTHER is so PROMISCUOUS that after SHE was FINISHED, there were NO HEADLESS MONKS.
    YOUR MOTHER contains enough CELLULITE that the ADIPOSE could use HER to REPOPULATE their HOME WORLD, and she would STILL be FAT!
    YOUR MOTHER is so MASSIVE that if she were INSIDE the TARDIS, her LEGS would STILL stick out the DOOR.
    YOUR MOTHER is so MENTALLY INFERIOR that she thought the GAME of RASSILON was 'SMACKDOWN vs RAW 2011'
    YOUR MOTHER is so OLD that the FACE OF BOE was her BOY-TOY.
    YOUR MOTHER is so MASSIVE that, AFTER her BATH, she has to RINSE OFF the BUBBLE UNIVERSES.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,229
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    Yo Momma is so skanky, the Daleks shout FUMIGATE.
  • thorterrthorterr Posts: 110
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    doctor - oh no k9's been damaged on a nearby star

    captain jack - sirius?

    doctor - nah he will be fine
  • Sora2311Sora2311 Posts: 2,306
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    Why was Colin Baker afraid of Sylvester McCoy?
    Because Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, Christopher Eccleston
  • sandydunesandydune Posts: 10,986
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    This is The Doctor speaking, this will be your downfall Dalek, there is an echo in here and it's coming from you and here it comes, right back at you but with one difference, you lose. Never play Downfall board game with me.:D
  • Michael_EveMichael_Eve Posts: 14,424
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    Doctor is stuck halfway down a pit. Gets 'Everest in Easy Stages' out of his pocket. ("It's in Tibetan!") Pulls out another book. 'Teach Yourself Tibetan'.

    'Doctor Who' at it's silliest and Adams-esque, but makes me smile whenever I've watched 'Creature From The Pit'. (Which is very very rarely, tbh.)

    Literal interpretation of thread title...but I'm *rubbish* at jokes.:o
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,229
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    I. Am. Farting.
  • sandydunesandydune Posts: 10,986
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    The Doctor-It's all relative

    Clara- As in gravity?

    The Doctor- no, Santa Claus.

    :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,003
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    How many Whovians does it take to change a light bulb?

    1,000,000. One to change the bulb and 999,999 to say that although the new bulb is ok, the one they grew up on was better.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,175
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    :)good ax
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 983
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    How many Whovians does it take to change a light bulb?

    1,000,000. One to change the bulb and 999,999 to say that although the new bulb is ok, the one they grew up on was better.

    Whovians don't change light bulbs, they wait for the bulb to regenerate.
  • bp2bp2 Posts: 1,117
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    sandydune wrote: »
    The Doctor-It's all relative

    Clara- As in gravity?

    The Doctor- no, Santa Claus.

    :D

    I don't get it. And I don't get why someone mentions relative the first thing you think of is gravity rather than space and time.
  • plateletplatelet Posts: 26,359
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    bp2 wrote: »
    I don't get it.

    Well quite often Santa Claus turns out to be
    a relative such as your dad

    bp2 wrote: »
    And I don't get why someone mentions relative the first thing you think of is gravity rather than space and time.

    as for that one, try http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Introduction_to_general_relativity
  • radcliffe95radcliffe95 Posts: 4,086
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    Kerching
  • bp2bp2 Posts: 1,117
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    platelet wrote: »

    What part am I meant to look at? Yes I am aware of gravity being caused by the curvature of space time which is in the theory of general relativity. However if you say relative most people would think speed or time since they are relative.
  • WelshNigeWelshNige Posts: 4,807
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    You know that thing they say that you should never analyze comedy, well this thread proves how wise that saying is.:)
  • LeslieGruffordLeslieGrufford Posts: 352
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    Why does the Doctor always lose at dominoes?


    Because he will knock four times!
  • sandydunesandydune Posts: 10,986
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    bp2 wrote:
    I don't get it. And I don't get why someone mentions relative the first thing you think of is gravity rather than space and time.
    It's a joke, it's supposed to not make sense.:D
  • bp2bp2 Posts: 1,117
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    sandydune wrote: »
    It's a joke, it's supposed to not make sense.:D
    But if you are making physics jokes at least get the physics right otherwise it isn't funny.
  • sandydunesandydune Posts: 10,986
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    sandydune wrote:
    It's a joke, it's supposed to not make sense.:D
    bp2 wrote:
    But if you are making physics jokes at least get the physics right otherwise it isn't funny.
    Calm down dear:D
  • plateletplatelet Posts: 26,359
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    bp2 wrote: »
    But if you are making physics jokes at least get the physics right otherwise it isn't funny.

    It made me laugh :D
  • Wiwik_AnggrainiWiwik_Anggraini Posts: 95
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    Lii wrote: »
    Whovians don't change light bulbs, they wait for the bulb to regenerate.
    Tell you what, it does work that way!

    True story: In my hallway I have four light bulbs of which one had been broken for a long time. Recently I went away for a weekend and when I returned, the light bulb had regenerated....Well, it works now, and my friend swore he didn't change it. He was the only one with a key to the apartment and I don't see why a burglar would only come in to change a light bulb.
  • TEDRTEDR Posts: 3,413
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    I don't see why a burglar would only come in to change a light bulb.

    It's the beginning of an unprecedented psychological attack — once he has destroyed your ability to discern cause and effect and to associate purchase with possession he can just knock on your door and ask for your belongings.
  • VopiscusVopiscus Posts: 1,559
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    Q: What do Daleks say in Devon?

    A: "Exeterminate!"

    Or, if you prefer it a bit smuttier:
    Rose was delighted to find it really was bigger on the inside.
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