They would need a ghost writer though, none of them can spell and they don't understand what commas and fullstops are for:D
Phil would be the best, he can write about how well he gets on with his neighbours, and how much he adores his wife, and how happy he is that his daughters are growing into independent young women with lives of their own.
LOL!!!!!
I wouldn't worry about the first paragraph though - don't forget a former columnist was Kerry Katona and I'm pretty sure that I once read that she just phoned her thoughts in and those nice people at Closer (or was it New?) turned it into a column! See, the Chawns could easily have a column. Perhaps a TV review column as that seems to be their specialist subject - I doubt they could even say who the current prime minister is. Their thoughts on the soaps and ITV2 would be riveting!
I know plenty of people who far more complex heath issues than Phil, who hold down full time jobs. He's a malingering tool, and should be forced back to work. He lives a cushy lifestyle, watching TV, stalking celebs, posting crap on Facebook - and us taxpayers fund it all now :mad:
Maddening isn't it? Read this I found in The Sun (I know, but it's relevant IMO)
Now this poor lad is always going to have one leg, he can't do anything about that (and he lost it as a hero!) but according to them he doesn't need his living allowance yet throw benefits to the Chawners like confetti? They who by losing weight could improve many of their health problems no end?
I have been watching the TV repeats and the more I see of them the more I dislike Sam, she screams at everyone, tells her mother how fat and lazy she is - while weighing 3 stone at least more than her, cries at everything, she simply gets on my nerves. At least Emma doesn't pretend she is trying to do anything. But as for Phil ........... I would so love to wipe that smirk off his face, if he started treating Audrey like a wife she might start acting like one. I won't bother watching any more because they just make me angry.
You're not alone! I feel exactly the same way, I can't believe I used to feel sorry for her and with hindsight think that we were led by Miss Kelly who seemed to be very soft on Sam but very hard on Audrey. She never even said much when Sam laid into her mother yet my jaw hit the floor!
Sam is exceptionally good at feeling sorry for herself and has bursting into tears down to an art! She's sussed out somewhere down the line that crying got attention and it might have done once but let's face it, if one of our kids habitually burst into tears for the slightest thing you wouldn't take her/him totally seriously every single time would you? It would be 'oh God, she's off again!' which is what Aud and Emma are like with her now, Phil not so much, likes his cuddles does Phil.
Phil's tantrums about the boyfriend were hilarious! Boy does that man have problems. Very telling that Sam seemed to think that she'd be cut off just because she had a boyfriend isn't it? (Wonder where she got that idea *cough* Christopher!) Aud was OK with it and actually looked a bit pleased when she passed the phone to Phil with his photo on but Phil? Nah. Jealous as hell. That man is either incredibly damaged himself or incredibly sick in the head.
I begrudge spending money on it .... I'll probably end up being one of those people in the supermarket who stand reading the mags then putting them back on the shelf when they've finished! :D
What can they say though that we haven't heard before? Unless it's about their new career in adverts?!
It'll be the usual whining diatribe about how they have been bullied and victimised and it's not their fault. The photos will reveal both girls are bigger than ever.
Weird question - but has anyone seen trails for that young entrepreneur programme on BBC3? I only glanced up when it was on and i'm sure that there's a girl on it that is the spitting image of Sam? I probably imagined it - but has anyone else seen this?
I swear I saw the dark haired sister on the X factor again this year ? When are they going to give up auditioning for this show? Surely by now they know they can't sing. Yes I know Emma did that concert thing but it was still awful even with all the singing lessons!
And on another note, has anyone seen Closer magazine today? Are the Chawners in it?
Just flicked through it in the village shop ( Good job they know me!) The issue dated 1-7th September contains not a word, not a mention of The Chunks, so save your money folks.
Philth is lying again. I cant see them going for a photo shoot if they aren't going to appear in the mag.
So I've saved £1.40 - well not actually, i bought a giant sized bag of wine gums instead.
Just flicked through it in the village shop ( Good job they know me!) The issue dated 1-7th September contains not a word, not a mention of The Chunks, so save your money folks.
Philth is lying again. I cant see them going for a photo shoot if they aren't going to appear in the mag.
So I've saved £1.40 - well not actually, i bought a giant sized bag of wine gums instead.
:eek: Phil is lying?? Never! :D I am outraged :mad: All of us sitting here waiting for the big reveal and then they don't deliver!!!
Just flicked through it in the village shop ( Good job they know me!) The issue dated 1-7th September contains not a word, not a mention of The Chunks, so save your money folks.
Philth is lying again. I cant see them going for a photo shoot if they aren't going to appear in the mag.
So I've saved £1.40 - well not actually, i bought a giant sized bag of wine gums instead.
Oh no!!!! So I don't have to rush to Tesco after all. Can someone please ask Phil why they are not in the mag, not That I think he'll answer, he never answers awkward questions. That's spoilt my week, I was so looking forward to seeing them!:D:D:D
I must say, going back to episodes, I think it was the one in the CLC, no 4, where Sam is weighing everyone in the caravan/mobile home thing. That SMIRK on her face when she goes to weigh everyone, the holier than thou 'Wotcha gonna do abaht that then?' to Aud after she stayed the same weight (and everyone else gained, hehm). I adored it when it turned out she'd gained a stone, that wiped the smug self-satisfaction off her little face.
I also love how jealous they all are after Aud stays the same and they gain after 'all the walkin'. Demanding 'WHATCHOO BIN DOIN'. It winds me up to watch it but I just can't get enough I love them all!
I must say, going back to episodes, I think it was the one in the CLC, no 4, where Sam is weighing everyone in the caravan/mobile home thing. That SMIRK on her face when she goes to weigh everyone, the holier than thou 'Wotcha gonna do abaht that then?' to Aud after she stayed the same weight (and everyone else gained, hehm). I adored it when it turned out she'd gained a stone, that wiped the smug self-satisfaction off her little face.
I also love how jealous they all are after Aud stays the same and they gain after 'all the walkin'. Demanding 'WHATCHOO BIN DOIN'. It winds me up to watch it but I just can't get enough I love them all!
I can't say I love them, they attract and repell me at the same time. If I put the Tv on and they're on, I have to watch it, even though they annoy me, it's like a compulsion. A bad one.
I had a look while I was in Tesco's earlier and Lizzie Cundy was in Closer, but not the Chawners. What was the connection then between the pics of them doing an ad with Lizzie in a nightclub and Closer?
I think so; though I can't imagine that the Chawners would be taking the initiative to create a business plan! I haven't seen the advert since - always the way!
I think so; though I can't imagine that the Chawners would be taking the initiative to create a business plan! I haven't seen the advert since - always the way!
In series 1, Sam did talk about starting her own mobile hairdressing business though - so it could be her! Maybe she's found the motivation and enthusiasm to break away from her toxic family, and do something worthwhile?
Oh who am I trying to kid? This is Sam Chawner we're talking about
In series 1, Sam did talk about starting her own mobile hairdressing business though - so it could be her! Maybe she's found the motivation and enthusiasm to break away from her toxic family, and do something worthwhile?
Oh who am I trying to kid? This is Sam Chawner we're talking about
Phil said that Emma was doing hairdressing and Sam was waitressing. Emma must have practised on Audrey.
Sam got a hairdressing qualification at college though, Emma didn't, she was only ever Sam's assistant, that was back in the day when both girls seemed to have a tiny bit of ambition to break away from their toxic home environment.
Does anyone know if Sam is still employed at the pizza place in Blackburn? She seems to have had a heck of a lot of sick leave in recent months.
I honestly thought that job would be the making of her - sadly, I was wrong.
Comments
LOL!!!!!
I wouldn't worry about the first paragraph though - don't forget a former columnist was Kerry Katona and I'm pretty sure that I once read that she just phoned her thoughts in and those nice people at Closer (or was it New?) turned it into a column! See, the Chawns could easily have a column. Perhaps a TV review column as that seems to be their specialist subject - I doubt they could even say who the current prime minister is. Their thoughts on the soaps and ITV2 would be riveting!
Maddening isn't it? Read this I found in The Sun (I know, but it's relevant IMO)
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4500487/Becks-Afghan-hero-stripped-of-disability-payments.html
Now this poor lad is always going to have one leg, he can't do anything about that (and he lost it as a hero!) but according to them he doesn't need his living allowance yet throw benefits to the Chawners like confetti? They who by losing weight could improve many of their health problems no end?
The world has gone bloody mad :mad:
You're not alone! I feel exactly the same way, I can't believe I used to feel sorry for her and with hindsight think that we were led by Miss Kelly who seemed to be very soft on Sam but very hard on Audrey. She never even said much when Sam laid into her mother yet my jaw hit the floor!
Sam is exceptionally good at feeling sorry for herself and has bursting into tears down to an art! She's sussed out somewhere down the line that crying got attention and it might have done once but let's face it, if one of our kids habitually burst into tears for the slightest thing you wouldn't take her/him totally seriously every single time would you? It would be 'oh God, she's off again!' which is what Aud and Emma are like with her now, Phil not so much, likes his cuddles does Phil.
Phil's tantrums about the boyfriend were hilarious! Boy does that man have problems. Very telling that Sam seemed to think that she'd be cut off just because she had a boyfriend isn't it? (Wonder where she got that idea *cough* Christopher!) Aud was OK with it and actually looked a bit pleased when she passed the phone to Phil with his photo on but Phil? Nah. Jealous as hell. That man is either incredibly damaged himself or incredibly sick in the head.
I'm a tad more excited about the paralympics than the Chawner interview, I have to admit.
What can they say though that we haven't heard before? Unless it's about their new career in adverts?!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/latestnews/2012/be-your-own-boss.html
Just what is the point? The joke wore thin (pun intended) a long time ago.
And on another note, has anyone seen Closer magazine today? Are the Chawners in it?
Just flicked through it in the village shop ( Good job they know me!) The issue dated 1-7th September contains not a word, not a mention of The Chunks, so save your money folks.
Philth is lying again. I cant see them going for a photo shoot if they aren't going to appear in the mag.
So I've saved £1.40 - well not actually, i bought a giant sized bag of wine gums instead.
:eek: Phil is lying?? Never! :D I am outraged :mad: All of us sitting here waiting for the big reveal and then they don't deliver!!!
PS: Mmm, Wine Gums..
Oh no!!!! So I don't have to rush to Tesco after all. Can someone please ask Phil why they are not in the mag, not That I think he'll answer, he never answers awkward questions. That's spoilt my week, I was so looking forward to seeing them!:D:D:D
I must say, going back to episodes, I think it was the one in the CLC, no 4, where Sam is weighing everyone in the caravan/mobile home thing. That SMIRK on her face when she goes to weigh everyone, the holier than thou 'Wotcha gonna do abaht that then?' to Aud after she stayed the same weight (and everyone else gained, hehm). I adored it when it turned out she'd gained a stone, that wiped the smug self-satisfaction off her little face.
I also love how jealous they all are after Aud stays the same and they gain after 'all the walkin'. Demanding 'WHATCHOO BIN DOIN'. It winds me up to watch it but I just can't get enough I love them all!
I can't say I love them, they attract and repell me at the same time. If I put the Tv on and they're on, I have to watch it, even though they annoy me, it's like a compulsion. A bad one.
At least none of us have wasted £1.40 anyway!:D
I think so; though I can't imagine that the Chawners would be taking the initiative to create a business plan! I haven't seen the advert since - always the way!
In series 1, Sam did talk about starting her own mobile hairdressing business though - so it could be her! Maybe she's found the motivation and enthusiasm to break away from her toxic family, and do something worthwhile?
Oh who am I trying to kid? This is Sam Chawner we're talking about
Phil said that Emma was doing hairdressing and Sam was waitressing. Emma must have practised on Audrey.
Does anyone know if Sam is still employed at the pizza place in Blackburn? She seems to have had a heck of a lot of sick leave in recent months.
I honestly thought that job would be the making of her - sadly, I was wrong.