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Worst Facebook status updates

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 528
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    Kiko H Fan wrote: »
    Then, every Friday, you need to reply

    "well slap my wanger and bugger me sideways with the rough end of pineapple, I never noticed it was Friday."

    :D:D:D
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    Janey_BeeJaney_Bee Posts: 319
    Forum Member
    Shappy wrote: »
    I've probably mentioned this before on this thread but will do so again because it annoys me so much.

    New mums and mums of young children posting stuff about how being a mum is the hardest and best job in the world, what a great asset a mum is over every other role in the world, and lots of other self-congratulatory memes.

    Stop thanking yourself! :mad: The time would be better spend thanking their own mums if they thought the job was so important.

    Definitely a bugbear of mine. Especially when, under the 'Work' category, they put "Full time mum!" I didn't actually realise you could be a part-time mum. Is there a pro rata calculation in there?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,888
    Forum Member
    Instagram selfie lady strikes again

    Im at metro centre
    I'm waiting at metro centre
    Already spent some at metro
    Waiting on joe at metro centre
    Shopping at metro centre
    I'm at the metro centre eating food
    Where are you Joe I'm waiting at metrocentre for you
    I am here by myself. I flew here at metrocentre



    Guys! I don't know where she is. Can you help me?
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    Kiko H FanKiko H Fan Posts: 6,546
    Forum Member
    Instagram selfie lady strikes again

    Im at metro centre
    I'm waiting at metro centre
    Already spent some at metro
    Waiting on joe at metro centre
    Shopping at metro centre
    I'm at the metro centre eating food
    Where are you Joe I'm waiting at metrocentre for you
    I am here by myself. I flew here at metrocentre



    Guys! I don't know where she is. Can you help me?

    As she's eating, she's in some form of comestible outlet.
    However, since there are hundreds of thousands of these throughout the country, I cannot narrow it down further. Sorry.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 528
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    Kiko H Fan wrote: »
    As she's eating, she's in some form of comestible outlet.
    However, since there are hundreds of thousands of these throughout the country, I cannot narrow it down further. Sorry.

    If only she was more specific. :confused:
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    cas116cas116 Posts: 820
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    "well tickle my tits it's Friday"

    :mad::mad: without fail, every Friday she posts this, irritates me no end!!

    I've got one who does that too! Wonder if it's the same person? Does her Facebook name have an brand of alcopop in the middle?
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    SexbombSexbomb Posts: 20,005
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    "well tickle my tits it's Friday"

    :mad::mad: without fail, every Friday she posts this, irritates me no end!!

    Simple just de-friend her.
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    Glitterbug13Glitterbug13 Posts: 323
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    Get in with that daft comment before she does next Friday :D
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    Alan1981Alan1981 Posts: 5,416
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    I was bored at work so was surfing facebook during my break, and I saw an old school friend posting her usual attention seeking messages.

    "so fed up" no one replies so a few minutes later. "omg I cannot believe some people" no replies. so a few minutes later " I wish people would stop stirring shit up n get down with their own lives"

    Que a few comments such as "what's up hun" and "omg I'm here if u wanna talk" to which she replies "nothing I don't want to talk about it":D
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    LadyJoLadyJo Posts: 22
    Forum Member
    A relative of mine recently put this status up.

    "I hate my family so much, why can't they all just get out of my life....IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT"

    He didn't realise that he was still friends with me :D
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,704
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    Alan1981 wrote: »
    I was bored at work so was surfing facebook during my break, and I saw an old school friend posting her usual attention seeking messages.

    "so fed up" no one replies so a few minutes later. "omg I cannot believe some people" no replies. so a few minutes later " I wish people would stop stirring shit up n get down with their own lives"

    Que a few comments such as "what's up hun" and "omg I'm here if u wanna talk" to which she replies "nothing I don't want to talk about it":D

    Give it a few minutes.. .. You'll prob see her add the famous "ill pm you hun" at some point :D
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,704
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    LadyJo wrote: »
    A relative of mine recently put this status up.

    "I hate my family so much, why can't they all just get out of my life....IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT"

    He didn't realise that he was still friends with me :D

    Ooh you so should have 'liked' that status!
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    littlemadangellittlemadangel Posts: 4,203
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    "In cinema with x and x, film is so funny, cant stop laughing"

    Its not that funny if you are on facebook instead of watching it!
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    SuperAPJSuperAPJ Posts: 10,402
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    That post on the other page about attackers and self-defense tips must win the award for longest status post!
    "well tickle my tits it's Friday"

    How many of her male friends respond with something like "Ill tickle ur tits bbe lol xxxx'?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,916
    Forum Member
    "well tickle my tits it's Friday"

    I have someone who pretty much only uses Facebook to say "thank Crunchie it's Friday" every single week without fail.

    Most people will have someone who post these cruddy memes all day long, so to combat them and the usual "OMG REALLY ANNOYED" crowd, post this to their wall.
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    solarflaresolarflare Posts: 22,382
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    Instagram selfie lady strikes again

    Im at metro centre
    I'm waiting at metro centre
    Already spent some at metro
    Waiting on joe at metro centre
    Shopping at metro centre
    I'm at the metro centre eating food
    Where are you Joe I'm waiting at metrocentre for you
    I am here by myself. I flew here at metrocentre



    Guys! I don't know where she is. Can you help me?

    Anyone want to translate BIB :D
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    bookaddictbookaddict Posts: 2,806
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    Shappy wrote: »
    I've probably mentioned this before on this thread but will do so again because it annoys me so much.

    New mums and mums of young children posting stuff about how being a mum is the hardest and best job in the world, what a great asset a mum is over every other role in the world, and lots of other self-congratulatory memes.

    Stop thanking yourself! :mad: The time would be better spend thanking their own mums if they thought the job was so important.

    Oh yes, I agree. Particularly when some of the people posting it are finding hours to spend on FB every day.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,133
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    'Taxi numbers plz '



    (Again) :mad:
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,133
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    'Potty training going well . Heidi boo has done a number 2 '



    :rolleyes:
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 263
    Forum Member
    Someone in my feed has posted multiple pictures of her 'bestie' in hospital with her wrists cut. Both smiling and posing for the camera. Check in - hospital.

    I now know how wrist-cutting girl felt to begin with.
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    CrazyLoopCrazyLoop Posts: 31,148
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    unpretty wrote: »
    Someone in my feed has posted multiple pictures of her 'bestie' in hospital with her wrists cut. Both smiling and posing for the camera. Check in - hospital.

    I now know how wrist-cutting girl felt to begin with.

    I doubt you do but wtf. Why would her bestie want to take pics of them both in hospital, attention seeking much? :eek::rolleyes:
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 138
    Forum Member
    unpretty wrote: »
    Someone in my feed has posted multiple pictures of her 'bestie' in hospital with her wrists cut. Both smiling and posing for the camera. Check in - hospital.

    I now know how wrist-cutting girl felt to begin with.

    Dear...God...:eek:
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    angelafisherangelafisher Posts: 4,150
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    Not a status as such, but I'm in a local 'sell, swap, give away, buy group' and twice lately it's been hijacked by members who've had a bad experience with either a taxi company or a tradesman. This has led to other group members taking their sides and phoning up the companies in question a mouthful. I've been so tempted to write either 'sorry, what exactly is for sale here?' or 'Two sides to every story?' but I'm too much of a coward.....
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 263
    Forum Member
    CrazyLoop wrote: »
    I doubt you do but wtf. Why would her bestie want to take pics of them both in hospital, attention seeking much? :eek::rolleyes:

    OK I was being facetious there but I do despair of humanity. Facebook wasn't always like this, was it? Is it just the younger generation (under 20) who have grown up with reality TV and social networking who think it's normal to share things like this?
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    maidinscotlandmaidinscotland Posts: 5,648
    Forum Member
    I find the RIP posts uncomfortable reading. Someone on my friends list lost their mum yesterday at
    teatime and posted numerous RIP mum posts a couple of hours later, the posts have been coming thick and fast since then, 'wonderful mum' quotes and various pictures of clouds and references to angels. All very sad and I know that everyone has different ways of grieving but I find it weird.
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