Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 125
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    I am pretty sure the 'crowd' will be negatively weighted, from what I understand. Should be... lively!
  • sunstonesunstone Posts: 2,082
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    I am pretty sure the 'crowd' will be negatively weighted, from what I understand. Should be... lively!

    If it happens it will be interesting to see. The Munsnet one had them all laughing and clapping iirc.:eek:
  • lea_uklea_uk Posts: 9,639
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    If she has any fans there I'll be very surprised.
  • SeabirdSeabird Posts: 1,048
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    As her die-hard fans seem to be mainly in the US, Australia and Canada they would have to be pretty obsessed and loaded to make the trip - though what better way to show their devotion, apart from carving Liz's name into their foreheads obviously...
  • astorastor Posts: 575
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    Bellagio wrote: »
    A simple question for astor: do you condone Jones' practise of altering her stories to fit, her blatant lies and her equally blatant plagiarism of the words of other, passing their experiences off as her own ? A straight yes or no please.

    A simple question for Bellagio, - did you read my last post?

    Still waiting for a hugely well written and witty response !
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
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    Yes, I did - here it is:
    astor wrote: »
    Margaret Thatcher's voice in your head when you read my posts?
    Bizarre but funny all the same!

    Not sure who comes to mind when I read yours - especially last years "slapper " post about Denise Welch (who by the way I can't stand!) which for some reason, still sticks in my mind.

    I have to say your "great love and respect for the written word" didn't exactly fly off the page there!

    If you'd care to point me in the direction of any comment you made re: Jones' plagiarism, I would be very grateful, but in the interim, as you've once more shied away from answering a very simple query with a two or three word answer - yes or no - I shall continue to assume that you condone this disreputable practise, possibly because you are in thrall to her, on the payroll or (unlikely, because your posts, while arrogant and condescending, are at least literate) are in fact Liz Jones herself.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 765
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    Well this week's entry was another useless article.
    A brief moan about the fact she didn't want to Glastonbury with Fictional Rock Star. I can't believe that the DM allow her submit such a non-entity.
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
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    One can only assume that she either...

    1) knows where the bodies are buried or...

    2) has the negatives hidden in a very safe place.

    Interestingly, in an interview pushing her lamentable memoirs - or should that be memememoirs ? - she claimed she was offered £700,000K a year to go to the Excess but decided to stay with the Wail. Let's look at this - she was offered almost three times her current salary to move to another tabloid, and said no. Maybe there was a clause in the contract that said "we can edit your stuff into coherence".
  • Sarah SoreenSarah Soreen Posts: 5,568
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    Liz Jones musing to self: "Oh, no! I've just received an e-mail from Mr. Dacre, telling me to make my Diary more interesting or I'll be out on my ear. Well, he didn't actually say ear - it was an anagram of ears. I don't relish this assignment he's given me but I'll have to do it or lose my job".

    The following week's Diary entry: In which I meet Samantha Brick.

    Having packed my Louis Vuitton suitcase and Michael Kors totebag, I set off for the airport.

    On landing I hailed a taxi (as I don't have a car at the moment) and eventually arrived at Samantha Brick's house in France.

    She didn't seem too pleased to see me. Some people are so self-deluded. It's obvious I'm better-looking than she is. Perhaps that was why she scowled at me.

    Pascal sat in an armchair in the corner of the living room and positively leered at me. Samantha Brick offered me a coffee to which I replied: "Only if it's an Illey coffee". As she didn't have my favourite brand, I asked for a San Pellegrino mineral water instead. I'm sure she gave me tap water because it tasted foul.

    When she went back into the kitchen to prepare a salad for me, Pascal sidled up to me. His breath could strip paint and I wondered when last he had changed his clothes and underwear as his body odour was overpowering.

    "I 'ear you wrote about zees eemaginary Rock Star boyfriend. I seenk what you need is a REAL man" he whispered and then pinched my bottom, adding: "You need to 'ave more weight on your derriere. I seenk you should eat some of zee wild boar zat I shot".

    I was horrified and shouted: "You horrible disgusting savage. I did NOT invent the Rock Star and you need a good wash. At this point I turned round and kicked him on the shin.

    Samantha Brick heard his swearing and yelling and ran into the room to see what the commotion was about.

    "No woman 'as everrr done zat to me - she keeck my sheen and eensult me".

    "He made a pass at me and pinched my bottom", I replied angrily.

    La Brick shouted: "How dare you! My Pascal would never look at another woman, let alone you! Get out of our house and don't ever come back".

    I couldn't leave quickly enough. Pascal grabbed his hunting rifle and discharged it into the air. Samantha Brick pelted my Louis Vuitton suitcase with unwashed potatoes, leaving some soil sticking to it.

    Once out of range, I sat down on a grassy hillock and sobbed and wailed.

    At that point a red Lamborghini stopped and out stepped this handsome man.

    "Leez Jones! You are zee famous Leez Jones"! he exclaimed. I too am a journalist 'ere and I am quite famous".

    I explained my predicament and he drove me to the airport. We exchanged e-mail addresses and phone numbers and he promised to meet me in London when next he was there.
    Things are looking up!

    Next week's Dreary entry: In which I have lunch at the Savoy.

    I havent dropped in here for ages, but have laughed at Cold Comforts parodies this evening. Many many thanks :D

    THIS is pure class!! I am wiping tears away here :D:D
  • Sarah SoreenSarah Soreen Posts: 5,568
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    Squatch wrote: »
    This is my theory on the matter, which I posted on another website:

    "Liz Jones has a "controversial" new book out, and the Daily Fail are busily trying to promote their troll-in-chief. Jones is getting harder to promote these days, as her shock value is wearing off and people don't care as much any more. The Fail's website is the #1 news site in the world, and celebrities pay to be featured on their sidebar (the Kardashians are known to do this), which is why many of their showbiz articles lack substance. My theory is that this "feud" is a calculated set up: Liz Jones gets to be a troll and much-needed publicity, and Rihanna gets to be portrayed as a rebel to further her quasi-"bad gal" image. In return for personally responding to Jones' article, the Fail will have promised to feature Rihanna on their sidebar more often. Both women are known for petty arguing and feuding, so it looks realistic. It seemed so strange to me that Rihanna even knew of Jones' existence (she has well passed the peak of her infamy), let alone gave her relevance by bothering to write a retort, until I thought of this."

    Also, Jones said that Rihanna had the "voice of an angel" and that she was a "self-made woman" (or something). This is laughably false - these are two huge points that Rihanna deserves criticism for - she's talentless, doesn't make her own music, has to objectify herself in order to sell her brand and just generally doesn't deserve to be put on a pedestal like she is. If Jones truly wanted to criticise Rihanna, she would have gone for the jugular right there. So the article is actually very flattering to Rihanna (bearing in mind she WANTS to be seen as "badass").

    In my opinion it was probably not a good PR move on Rihanna's part. Her retort was embarrassing, it just made her look stupid, hysterical and immature. And by getting involved with someone of Jones' irrelevancy, she's dragging herself down to her level.

    I'm still surprised though, that Jones' rape-apologist comment was allowed to be printed, even in the Fail. Also, I think Liz Jones knows what she's doing and is a professional troll (rather than truly mad), but I'm still shocked that a woman could use ignorance about rape in order to get herself notoriety. That's just a nasty thing to do.

    I'm still many pages behind

    BIB: What an excellent post! I didnt read these pieces at the time but did a few days ago. My toes curled in embarrassment at the pair of them.

    Excellent theory! :D
  • Sarah SoreenSarah Soreen Posts: 5,568
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    MissTitchy wrote: »
    I'm a newbie who signed up just because of this thread. I always check on this thread everyday as its the best thread around and really sums up the old bat Liz. Seriously, never ever change!!

    Oooo a new poster! Welcome! :D

    I'm still not caught up but its time to go and annoy the posters of the BB forum now.

    Hope the last 8ish pages are as good a read as the last 10 I've just gone through.
  • astorastor Posts: 575
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    Bellagio wrote: »
    Yes, I did - here it is:



    If you'd care to point me in the direction of any comment you made re: Jones' plagiarism, I would be very grateful, but in the interim, as you've once more shied away from answering a very simple query with a two or three word answer - yes or no - I shall continue to assume that you condone this disreputable practise, possibly because you are in thrall to her, on the payroll or (unlikely, because your posts, while arrogant and condescending, are at least literate) are in fact Liz Jones herself.

    Do I condone plagiarism ? No, Of course I don't.
    Simple answer!
    Do I think Liz was guilty of plagiarism re her excellent seal culling article in 2007 ? No, I don't.
    Am I in thrall to Liz - or am I Liz - yet again, nope!
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
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    So, the fact that in the first version of the article she ascribed the words to an anti-cull activist, and in the second version a few months later she used almost exactly the same words - Google it, or search on the Wail website if you don't believe me - but this time claimed it was a personal experience, isn't, according to you, plagiarism* ? Thank you astor, that tells us all we need to know about your devotion to Jones and your sense what is acceptable and what is not in the field of journalism.

    * - Plagiarism: the wrongful appropriation and purloining and publication of another author's language, thoughts, ideas, or expressions, and the representation of them as one's own original work.
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
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    Astor, because I'm such a nice guy, I'll save you the trouble of Googling (all emphasis mine):

    Original version, April 2007: "I ask the animal welfare observers accompanying me, who have witnessed such scenes many times before, to tell me which aspect of the slaughter they find most distressing.

    One tells me how she has witnessed pups being dragged by hooks across the ice, and once saw a pup take 45 minutes to die after being clubbed on the head.

    "She was on the ice, just gurgling and crying, and there was nothing we could do to intervene."

    Another described how, when the hunt begins, the female seals all try to keep an eye on their babies until fear drives them into the water.

    Once the boats have gone, they all come back onto the ice, calling for their pups.

    They waddle up to the huge, steaming pile of offal that is left to rot on the ice (seal blubber is virtually worthless), and they actually sort gently through the bodies, trying to find their babies.

    "The sound the mothers make is so terrible, so plaintive, it haunts you for ever," she said.
    ""

    Revised version, December 2008: "As each pup was killed and skinned, often while still moving, the fishermen tossed the bodies into a pile. At the end of the day, after the boats had gone, I saw the mothers creep back on to the ice, clamber over the corpses and frantically call for their babies. It is a sound I never want to hear again."

    She didn't see the seals return, or hear them call: someone else did. In fact, she didn't even set foot on the ice, as she states she was flown over the scene of the cull in a helicopter, so she couldn't have heard anything except the roar of the engine. I've called it plagiarism up to now, but in reality, she's lying, as usual.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 228
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    Why is Liz Jones so disliked?
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
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    Oh, maybe because she's...

    a really, really bad journalist...
    prone to telling lies...
    equally prone to recycling past articles...
    given to doing or writing anything to get a response...
    got, as Private Eye pungently stated, the self-awareness of a teapot...
    no sense of decorum regarding her immediate family...
    just vile ?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 228
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    I don't know her personally. She certainly gets a reaction! Will have to read some of her articles.
  • sunstonesunstone Posts: 2,082
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    Bellagio wrote: »
    Astor, because I'm such a nice guy, I'll save you the trouble of Googling (all emphasis mine):

    Original version, April 2007: "I ask the animal welfare observers accompanying me, who have witnessed such scenes many times before, to tell me which aspect of the slaughter they find most distressing.

    One tells me how she has witnessed pups being dragged by hooks across the ice, and once saw a pup take 45 minutes to die after being clubbed on the head.

    "She was on the ice, just gurgling and crying, and there was nothing we could do to intervene."

    Another described how, when the hunt begins, the female seals all try to keep an eye on their babies until fear drives them into the water.

    Once the boats have gone, they all come back onto the ice, calling for their pups.

    They waddle up to the huge, steaming pile of offal that is left to rot on the ice (seal blubber is virtually worthless), and they actually sort gently through the bodies, trying to find their babies.

    "The sound the mothers make is so terrible, so plaintive, it haunts you for ever," she said.
    ""

    Revised version, December 2008: "As each pup was killed and skinned, often while still moving, the fishermen tossed the bodies into a pile. At the end of the day, after the boats had gone, I saw the mothers creep back on to the ice, clamber over the corpses and frantically call for their babies. It is a sound I never want to hear again."

    She didn't see the seals return, or hear them call: someone else did. In fact, she didn't even set foot on the ice, as she states she was flown over the scene of the cull in a helicopter, so she couldn't have heard anything except the roar of the engine. I've called it plagiarism up to now, but in reality, she's lying, as usual.

    The plagiarism is so blatant she doesn't even care.
    Amazing how a profoundly deaf person can claim to have such bat like hearing anyway. Remember that every spring she hears the little lambsicals crying as they get taken to slaughter. ( a pair of buttery soft lambs leather gloves are probably gorgeous though :p )
    She also hears rude service workers, naughty children and call centre workers.
  • SeabirdSeabird Posts: 1,048
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    sunstone wrote: »
    Amazing how a profoundly deaf person can claim to have such bat like hearing anyway. Remember that every spring she hears the little lambsicals crying as they get taken to slaughter. ( a pair of buttery soft lambs leather gloves are probably gorgeous though :p )
    She also hears rude service workers, naughty children and call centre workers.

    Also miraculously when she talks to her imaginary boyfriend on the phone (as they of course are never physically together in the same room) she can hear the faintest intake of breath or sigh from him. Today's "Why won't Victoria Beckham be my best friend" article is truly cringeworthy. She even sent VB a photograph of one of her VB designer dresses she bought at over £1000 despite not being able to afford it - and she STILL won't have Liz at her fashion shows. No doubt a Rhiannon style retaliation is expected from VB after the kicking Liz has given her new collection.
  • astorastor Posts: 575
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    Bellagio wrote: »
    Astor, because I'm such a nice guy, I'll save you the trouble of Googling (all emphasis mine):

    Original version, April 2007: "I ask the animal welfare observers accompanying me, who have witnessed such scenes many times before, to tell me which aspect of the slaughter they find most distressing.

    One tells me how she has witnessed pups being dragged by hooks across the ice, and once saw a pup take 45 minutes to die after being clubbed on the head.

    "She was on the ice, just gurgling and crying, and there was nothing we could do to intervene."

    Another described how, when the hunt begins, the female seals all try to keep an eye on their babies until fear drives them into the water.

    Once the boats have gone, they all come back onto the ice, calling for their pups.

    They waddle up to the huge, steaming pile of offal that is left to rot on the ice (seal blubber is virtually worthless), and they actually sort gently through the bodies, trying to find their babies.

    "The sound the mothers make is so terrible, so plaintive, it haunts you for ever," she said.
    ""

    Revised version, December 2008: "As each pup was killed and skinned, often while still moving, the fishermen tossed the bodies into a pile. At the end of the day, after the boats had gone, I saw the mothers creep back on to the ice, clamber over the corpses and frantically call for their babies. It is a sound I never want to hear again."

    She didn't see the seals return, or hear them call: someone else did. In fact, she didn't even set foot on the ice, as she states she was flown over the scene of the cull in a helicopter, so she couldn't have heard anything except the roar of the engine. I've called it plagiarism up to now, but in reality, she's lying, as usual.

    Gosh Bellagio, I didn't realise you were actually there on the trip with Liz, witnessing & logging everything!

    As for "googling" and researching Liz - that's obviously your
    little hobby, not mine.
  • nitenursenitenurse Posts: 1,116
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    Astor:

    do you live in Yorkshire and have an elderly Collie called Michael?
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
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    astor wrote: »
    Gosh Bellagio, I didn't realise you were actually there on the trip with Liz, witnessing & logging everything!

    As for "googling" and researching Liz - that's obviously your
    little hobby, not mine.

    No need to be there - I just used the words that your beloved Liz herself wrote to illustrate beyond question how shamelessly she steals the experiences of others and applies them to herself as required.

    And yes, researching the lies and inconsistencies of Liz Jones is truly a little hobby, occupying hardly any of my spare time: it's a bit like shooting fish in a barrel with a bazooka compared with real research, i.e. determining the exact release sequence of the "Surfin'" single, or if William T. Phillips could have made it from San Vicente to Michigan in time to marry Gertrude in late 1908.
  • SeabirdSeabird Posts: 1,048
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    From the writer who envied the women of Somalia, who were dying of starvation but at least they 'looked like supermodels', the war victims of Bosnia are lucky because they have 'normal problems' unlike Liz who has the occasional fall out with her sister. Truly repugnant.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2381923/Liz-Joness-diary-In-I-question-relationship.html
  • sunstonesunstone Posts: 2,082
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    Seabird wrote: »
    From the writer who envied the women of Somalia, who were dying of starvation but at least they 'looked like supermodels', the war victims of Bosnia are lucky because they have 'normal problems' unlike Liz who has the occasional fall out with her sister. Truly repugnant.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2381923/Liz-Joness-diary-In-I-question-relationship.html

    Well falling out with your family because you deride them in a newspaper is clearly much worse than living in fear for your life, or witnessing the death of loved ones,friends and neighbours.:rolleyes: Thank heavens LJ went there to rescue the doggies eh?
  • SeabirdSeabird Posts: 1,048
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    sunstone wrote: »
    Well falling out with your family because you deride them in a newspaper is clearly much worse than living in fear for your life, or witnessing the death of loved ones,friends and neighbours.:rolleyes: Thank heavens LJ went there to rescue the doggies eh?

    Absolutely. No matter how many times I read the following I can see no other reason than to be grossly offensive and to attract click-bait. Or is this just another example of her being 'hillarious' and 'self-deprecating'?

    "I’ve just got back to London from a gruelling work trip to a former war zone, and while I sympathise with the grief of those who have lost loved ones, I can’t help but want a more normal problem for myself. I’ve been turned on by my family, which is surely worse than being fired upon by strangers. "
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