I do agree on that from what I read in the paper about them. I also agree on the brilliant parents, As I have said I am an only child and first pregnancy and born. However all my mums subsequent ones went wrong. To me though they became the best parents one could wish for and kept me grounded through life and importantly appreciate the things that you have.
It often helps other people doesn't it, when we share the darker side of life? It would have to be a very personal choice for each individual couple, but we should welcome and respect their choice.
Such a sad story they are from where I live in Scunthorpe.
They have a page on Facebook Kaidens CDH life. Where they have a e-petition for more funding if anyone wants to sign.
It often helps other people doesn't it, when we share the darker side of life? It would have to be a very personal choice for each individual couple, but we should welcome and respect their choice.
Yes I respect their choice and they were very brave to do it. My parents never shared it with anyone as It was not the thing to do in the 80s. I know my dad had to register my stillborn brothers birth/death. He went alone as mum could not face it, mum dealt with it in her own way as well as having to deal with the early death of her Dad.
I thought it was rather nicely done tbh, sad though.
Tonight's program was very emotional and showed how pregnancy and child birth is not always as simple as we all expect . Although many will find tonight's program difficult to deal with, this is reality and situations go, we have to just get on with it
Absolutely heartbreaking watching tonights episode. They were such a nice couple, who were very brave in letting their story be told. As for the poster saying it was tasteless...what utter tosh! The whole thing was dealt with perfectly.
Such a sad story but it's good to show it because it happens to many parents. Kaiden was only here for six days and yet he was a well loved little boy by all his family and was well cared for by the hospital staff.
My first grandson was stillborn and the nursing staff couldn't do enough to comfort the parents. They even put the body in a moses basket and wrapped him up gently then let my son in law carry him to the mortuary.
Because he was stillborn he didn't have a birth or death certificate but even so the hospital chaplain did a nice little memorial service in the hospital chapel for him and another baby who had died.
Kaiden's parents were lovely people and I love that they made a book of memories. It was brave of them to allow their story to be told.
I agree with those saying how sensitively and beautifully the story was told tonight. I thought the parents were amazing and very brave to want to their memories with us.
It certainly was not tasteless. I can understand that some may have found it difficult to watch, because it was, but it was also ultimately a tribute the couples courage, love and bravery. I found it quite uplifting when the Dad spoke about the positive influence his baby son had been on him.
Totally agree.
There are occasions where babies die, and it would be wrong to only show happy outcomes. For that reason alone, the programme was very worthwhile. But seeing the influence baby Kaiden had was uplifting.
I haven't cried that much for a long time. That was exceptionally sad, and brave of the family to let it be shown. RIP little Kaiden
It was brave of them. We get so used to everything having to be shown as being 'happy' on programmes like this that it's too easy to forget that many babies are still born with life-threatening conditions that they probably won't overcome, and these parents have to cope somehow. If this episode helps even one family find the courage and strength to come to terms with being in a similar situation, then that can only be a good thing. Courage and strength are contagious, so by letting this be shown on TV, by talking about their experiences to others, they will be doing some good - good that will be the ultimate tribute to Kaiden's life.
Absolutely heartbreaking. You could tell that the consultant was near to tears when she was speaking to them. How do you ever get used to breaking news like that to parents and how do you as a parent ever have the strength to carry on after the loss of a baby? It would be great to hear that the couple go on to have a healthy baby, bless them.
I don't think they ever get used to it. He can't cry or show his feelings at work, and it must be even worse if he has a family of his own because being a parent does change how you deal with emotional trauma. It's bad enough for us Mums and Dads posting on here who are parents just watching it...
I just want to say, thank you for allowing us to see your joy and pain. So, so , sad, and I feel very privelidged to have followed your story, but I am so sorry for your loss. Good luck for the future x
Agreed. It's all already been said, but more good will have come out of this than perhaps first appears. Kaiden has wonderful parents.
I really don't understand why channel 4 feel the need to show a programme which exploits two people's grief they film the hardest days of anyone's lives and broadcast it for the whole ****ing world to see.
RIP little boy, and my heart goes out to the parents.
It should never of been broadcast even with parents permission it's just tasteless IMO
But what if the parents insisted it was shown? If you've read any of the newspaper stories giving more of the background to this particular edition of One Born you'll know that the parents wanted their story, Kaiden's story, told to help others who may either be facing a pregnancy with a baby with the same condition, or any other condition which in all likelihood will lead to a very early death for the baby. Channel 4 get a lot of stick, and have made some rubbish broadcasting decisions over the years, but One Born is rightly regarded as one of their best programmes - they (as far as I can gather from other posters who know families who've been featured on the programme) never go out of their way to seek out and exploit potentially tragic situations. Yes, the parents were (still will be) grieving, but grief doesn't have to an entirely negative emotion.
The reasons why you found it tasteless and an unnecessary piece of television are clearly valid to you in your thinking, but I think you have seen now that neither Kaiden's parents, nor the majority of posters here agree with you.
It certainly was not tasteless. I can understand that some may have found it difficult to watch, because it was, but it was also ultimately a tribute the couples courage, love and bravery. I found it quite uplifting when the Dad spoke about the positive influence his baby son had been on him.
Yes, and why they'd chosen his name Kaiden. The poor Dad - Dads are so often overlooked in situations like this. Men are expected to be 'strong' for everyone when things go wrong, and of course naturally the focus after any birth is usually on the Mum's physical needs so he gets pushed out of the way a bit just because she needs attending to. To see him sobbing his heart out was just heartbreaking - that was the point at which my eyes filled up (I'd been able to keep it at bay up to that point).
Yes I respect their choice and they were very brave to do it. My parents never shared it with anyone as It was not the thing to do in the 80s. I know my dad had to register my stillborn brothers birth/death. He went alone as mum could not face it, mum dealt with it in her own way as well as having to deal with the early death of her Dad.
My partner's Mum had a stillborn boy after having their first son with no problems. But she's never told my partner about it - he found out through another person in the family. She's never been able to talk about it, and my partner is unsure how much his Dad was involved, how they 'coped' (if, indeed, they did). My partner doesn't even know what the legalities are about it (it was 47 years ago), whether his brother existed in law (death certificate, records etc) and yet he'd like to know very much but he can't ask his parents (both still alive, but both very poorly) but he feels as if a part of his life, his brother, is going to be lost to him forever if it's never talked about.
So yes, times have changed so much - this evening's story brought that home to me, as it clearly did to you too. Families kept things like that to themselves and just didn't talk about it - and sometimes that can cause problem of its own. But Kaiden's parents seem so strong together, and because they've shared it all with each other, and their families, I think they have a relationship which is tough enough to survive anything.
R.I.P. little Kaiden - God will look after you now until you're reunited with your parents (it's the not the same thing at all - I am not trying to trivialise anything - but that belief got me through me losing a baby through miscarriage at nearly 4 months, and no one should be insulting anyone's faith at a time like this). The fact that Kaiden's parents were offered an early termination, but they refused it, shows that they never once wanted to give up before they absolutely had to - and they clearly didn't regret that decision for one minute; they got to see their son for five precious days, got to spend time with him, to talk to him, to let him know how much he was loved, to have photos and hand prints, all the early days 'evidence' of a baby being alive with them, and they gave that gift to their family too. That will always mean more than mere words can ever say to those who were touched directly or indirectly by Kaiden's story being told. Bless you all.
It was brave of them. We get so used to everything having to be shown as being 'happy' on programmes like this that it's too easy to forget that many babies are still born with life-threatening conditions that they probably won't overcome, and these parents have to cope somehow. If this episode helps even one family find the courage and strength to come to terms with being in a similar situation, then that can only be a good thing. Courage and strength are contagious, so by letting this be shown on TV, by talking about their experiences to others, they will be doing some good - good that will be the ultimate tribute to Kaiden's life.
I don't think they ever get used to it. He can't cry or show his feelings at work, and it must be even worse if he has a family of his own because being a parent does change how you deal with emotional trauma. It's bad enough for us Mums and Dads posting on here who are parents just watching it...
Agreed. It's all already been said, but more good will have come out of this than perhaps first appears. Kaiden has wonderful parents.
But what if the parents insisted it was shown? If you've read any of the newspaper stories giving more of the background to this particular edition of One Born you'll know that the parents wanted their story, Kaiden's story, told to help others who may either be facing a pregnancy with a baby with the same condition, or any other condition which in all likelihood will lead to a very early death for the baby. Channel 4 get a lot of stick, and have made some rubbish broadcasting decisions over the years, but One Born is rightly regarded as one of their best programmes - they (as far as I can gather from other posters who know families who've been featured on the programme) never go out of their way to seek out and exploit potentially tragic situations. Yes, the parents were (still will be) grieving, but grief doesn't have to an entirely negative emotion.
The reasons why you found it tasteless and an unnecessary piece of television are clearly valid to you in your thinking, but I think you have seen now that neither Kaiden's parents, nor the majority of posters here agree with you.
Yes, and why they'd chosen his name Kaiden. The poor Dad - Dads are so often overlooked in situations like this. Men are expected to be 'strong' for everyone when things go wrong, and of course naturally the focus after any birth is usually on the Mum's physical needs so he gets pushed out of the way a bit just because she needs attending to. To see him sobbing his heart out was just heartbreaking - that was the point at which my eyes filled up (I'd been able to keep it at bay up to that point).
My partner's Mum had a stillborn boy after having their first son with no problems. But she's never told my partner about it - he found out through another person in the family. She's never been able to talk about it, and my partner is unsure how much his Dad was involved, how they 'coped' (if, indeed, they did). My partner doesn't even know what the legalities are about it (it was 47 years ago), whether his brother existed in law (death certificate, records etc) and yet he'd like to know very much but he can't ask his parents (both still alive, but both very poorly) but he feels as if a part of his life, his brother, is going to be lost to him forever if it's never talked about.
So yes, times have changed so much - this evening's story brought that home to me, as it clearly did to you too. Families kept things like that to themselves and just didn't talk about it - and sometimes that can cause problem of its own. But Kaiden's parents seem so strong together, and because they've shared it all with each other, and their families, I think they have a relationship which is tough enough to survive anything.
R.I.P. little Kaiden - God will look after you now until you're reunited with your parents (it's the not the same thing at all - I am not trying to trivialise anything - but that belief got me through me losing a baby through miscarriage at nearly 4 months, and no one should be insulting anyone's faith at a time like this). The fact that Kaiden's parents were offered an early termination, but they refused it, shows that they never once wanted to give up before they absolutely had to - and they clearly didn't regret that decision for one minute; they got to see their son for five precious days, got to spend time with him, to talk to him, to let him know how much he was loved, to have photos and hand prints, all the early days 'evidence' of a baby being alive with them, and they gave that gift to their family too. That will always mean more than mere words can ever say to those who were touched directly or indirectly by Kaiden's story being told. Bless you all.
BIB
I have looked into this as I have been doing family tree research. All births live or dead have to be registred by law if the pregnancy has passed 24 weeks. I have notice some very old birth records on Ancestry that have the Surname of a child born but no first name just Male or Female. A death record also matches the birth one.
The rules must have been changed at some point as I could not find my brothers record. I then found online a website that can find these records if you wish. However if parents are alive they have to give permission. If parents have died a sibling could find out but has to show evidence of relation. ie your own birth certificate and both parents death certificate.
I wasn't going to comment as other posters have said it so eloquently but then I needed to make a comment for myself as this has affected me emotionally.
Hayley and Pete were mature and dignified and rose positively out of a horrendous situation and I thank them for having the courage to allow the filming and showing of Kaiden's story.
However as a grandmother myself I just want to spare a thought for their mothers, Kaiden's grandmothers, who were so supportive to Hayley and Pete whilst going through agonies themselves.
As a mother you just want to nurture and protect your children and to see them going through this horrendous experience must have been unbearable but they, too, were dignified, loving and supportive.
The whole family has been in my thoughts since I watched it last night and again this morning as my OH wanted to see it on catch up.
I've just watched this now on catch up. It seems the least I could do as the parents were brave enough to allow filming of the birth and dealth of their son Kaiden, knowing how much it would help others.
Very distressing but also beautifully powerful. Life (and death) can be like that. We need to be reminded I think, just how precious life can be, and not take it for granted.
BIB
I have looked into this as I have been doing family tree research. All births live or dead have to be registred by law if the pregnancy has passed 24 weeks. I have notice some very old birth records on Ancestry that have the Surname of a child born but no first name just Male or Female. A death record also matches the birth one.
The rules must have been changed at some point as I could not find my brothers record. I then found online a website that can find these records if you wish. However if parents are alive they have to give permission. If parents have died a sibling could find out but has to show evidence of relation. ie your own birth certificate and both parents death certificate.
I thought it was beautifully handled, and what brave people to allow their story to be told. It's not a condition I knew about so found it very interesting and seeing the strength and dignified way they carried themselves was a privilage to be allowed to see. I'm sure in their grief their family and friends are exceptionally proud of Hayley and Pete.
It is in general a positive funny documentary but I appreciate them showing the reality of life, its not all about happy endings. If some people can't cope with that then I suggest the Disney channel for them.
I thought it was beautifully handled, and what brave people to allow their story to be told. It's not a condition I knew about so found it very interesting and seeing the strength and dignified way they carried themselves was a privilage to be allowed to see. I'm sure in their grief their family and friends are exceptionally proud of Hayley and Pete.
It is in general a positive funny documentary but I appreciate them showing the reality of life, its not all about happy endings. If some people can't cope with that then I suggest the Disney channel for them.
I agree BIB and I also think that this lovely couple would be so proud to know how many people little Kaiden touched with their sharing of this precious baby.
I hadn't read anything about the programme beforehand, and I had assumed as I watched that there would be a happy outcome, so it caught me unawares. It was very sad, with such a sombre atmosphere at the birth, but though I shed some tears I was moved by the courage of the parents. I saw nothing exploitative about it at all.
I hadn't read anything about the programme beforehand, and I had assumed as I watched that there would be a happy outcome, so it caught me unawares. It was very sad, with such a sombre atmosphere at the birth, but though I shed some tears I was moved by the courage of the parents. I saw nothing exploitative about it at all.
I just watched it tonight on FourSeven, not having read anything about it, and as the ad break began before the final part, one of those messages appeared on screen with the words RIP Kaiden ....so I knew what would happen before the last part of the programme.
A mistake by Ch4/FourSeven - not sure if it was a good or bad thing .. but at least it didn't take me by surprise - I always hope it will end well with such things.
Still made me very sad though - what lovely people.
Hope they have a lovely, healthy baby before too long.
I watched this programme last night, knowing it would be a sad episode, and I just couldn't stop crying. So many lovely comments have been made already but I felt I just wanted to add to these.
I was so upset last night and even today - I have been blessed with 2 healthy children and I cannot begin to imagine what Kaiden's parents (and other parents who have lost a child) have endured. I counted my blessings when I popped into kiss my sleeping children that night.
May Kaiden's parents be comforted by the knowledge that their beautiful son has left a huge legacy - his passing has raised a great awareness of CDH. His parents are, quite simply, an amazing couple and their courage is inspiring.
Just caught up. Beautifully handled, well done to all involved in the making of this episode. How utterly heartbreaking...
Hayley and Pete - what a lovely couple. The extended family seemed lovely too. Apologies for disjointed post, still a bit emotional. R.I.P. wee Kaiden.
I hadn't read anything about the programme beforehand, and I had assumed as I watched that there would be a happy outcome, so it caught me unawares. It was very sad, with such a sombre atmosphere at the birth, but though I shed some tears I was moved by the courage of the parents. I saw nothing exploitative about it at all.
Similar story here. I only just got around to watching it last night, and had not seen or read anything about the episode beforehand. I just sat down to watch as usual, and was taken aback by the sad turn of events. I think it's being realistic, not exploitative, and was very brave of the parents to allow the episode to go ahead.
Similar story here. I only just got around to watching it last night, and had not seen or read anything about the episode beforehand. I just sat down to watch as usual, and was taken aback by the sad turn of events. I think it's being realistic, not exploitative, and was very brave of the parents to allow the episode to go ahead.
I hadn't watched it live but had recorded it for later. One of my colleagues had warned me that it was sad but I wasn't prepared for the very sad show tonight. The parents were so very brave to share their experience
Comments
It often helps other people doesn't it, when we share the darker side of life? It would have to be a very personal choice for each individual couple, but we should welcome and respect their choice.
Thanks for posting the link:)
Yes I respect their choice and they were very brave to do it. My parents never shared it with anyone as It was not the thing to do in the 80s. I know my dad had to register my stillborn brothers birth/death. He went alone as mum could not face it, mum dealt with it in her own way as well as having to deal with the early death of her Dad.
Tonight's program was very emotional and showed how pregnancy and child birth is not always as simple as we all expect . Although many will find tonight's program difficult to deal with, this is reality and situations go, we have to just get on with it
Much love for everyone going through birth .
My first grandson was stillborn and the nursing staff couldn't do enough to comfort the parents. They even put the body in a moses basket and wrapped him up gently then let my son in law carry him to the mortuary.
Because he was stillborn he didn't have a birth or death certificate but even so the hospital chaplain did a nice little memorial service in the hospital chapel for him and another baby who had died.
Kaiden's parents were lovely people and I love that they made a book of memories. It was brave of them to allow their story to be told.
Totally agree.
There are occasions where babies die, and it would be wrong to only show happy outcomes. For that reason alone, the programme was very worthwhile. But seeing the influence baby Kaiden had was uplifting.
It was brave of them. We get so used to everything having to be shown as being 'happy' on programmes like this that it's too easy to forget that many babies are still born with life-threatening conditions that they probably won't overcome, and these parents have to cope somehow. If this episode helps even one family find the courage and strength to come to terms with being in a similar situation, then that can only be a good thing. Courage and strength are contagious, so by letting this be shown on TV, by talking about their experiences to others, they will be doing some good - good that will be the ultimate tribute to Kaiden's life.
I don't think they ever get used to it. He can't cry or show his feelings at work, and it must be even worse if he has a family of his own because being a parent does change how you deal with emotional trauma. It's bad enough for us Mums and Dads posting on here who are parents just watching it...
Agreed. It's all already been said, but more good will have come out of this than perhaps first appears. Kaiden has wonderful parents.
But what if the parents insisted it was shown? If you've read any of the newspaper stories giving more of the background to this particular edition of One Born you'll know that the parents wanted their story, Kaiden's story, told to help others who may either be facing a pregnancy with a baby with the same condition, or any other condition which in all likelihood will lead to a very early death for the baby. Channel 4 get a lot of stick, and have made some rubbish broadcasting decisions over the years, but One Born is rightly regarded as one of their best programmes - they (as far as I can gather from other posters who know families who've been featured on the programme) never go out of their way to seek out and exploit potentially tragic situations. Yes, the parents were (still will be) grieving, but grief doesn't have to an entirely negative emotion.
The reasons why you found it tasteless and an unnecessary piece of television are clearly valid to you in your thinking, but I think you have seen now that neither Kaiden's parents, nor the majority of posters here agree with you.
Yes, and why they'd chosen his name Kaiden. The poor Dad - Dads are so often overlooked in situations like this. Men are expected to be 'strong' for everyone when things go wrong, and of course naturally the focus after any birth is usually on the Mum's physical needs so he gets pushed out of the way a bit just because she needs attending to. To see him sobbing his heart out was just heartbreaking - that was the point at which my eyes filled up (I'd been able to keep it at bay up to that point).
My partner's Mum had a stillborn boy after having their first son with no problems. But she's never told my partner about it - he found out through another person in the family. She's never been able to talk about it, and my partner is unsure how much his Dad was involved, how they 'coped' (if, indeed, they did). My partner doesn't even know what the legalities are about it (it was 47 years ago), whether his brother existed in law (death certificate, records etc) and yet he'd like to know very much but he can't ask his parents (both still alive, but both very poorly) but he feels as if a part of his life, his brother, is going to be lost to him forever if it's never talked about.
So yes, times have changed so much - this evening's story brought that home to me, as it clearly did to you too. Families kept things like that to themselves and just didn't talk about it - and sometimes that can cause problem of its own. But Kaiden's parents seem so strong together, and because they've shared it all with each other, and their families, I think they have a relationship which is tough enough to survive anything.
R.I.P. little Kaiden - God will look after you now until you're reunited with your parents (it's the not the same thing at all - I am not trying to trivialise anything - but that belief got me through me losing a baby through miscarriage at nearly 4 months, and no one should be insulting anyone's faith at a time like this). The fact that Kaiden's parents were offered an early termination, but they refused it, shows that they never once wanted to give up before they absolutely had to - and they clearly didn't regret that decision for one minute; they got to see their son for five precious days, got to spend time with him, to talk to him, to let him know how much he was loved, to have photos and hand prints, all the early days 'evidence' of a baby being alive with them, and they gave that gift to their family too. That will always mean more than mere words can ever say to those who were touched directly or indirectly by Kaiden's story being told. Bless you all.
BIB
I have looked into this as I have been doing family tree research. All births live or dead have to be registred by law if the pregnancy has passed 24 weeks. I have notice some very old birth records on Ancestry that have the Surname of a child born but no first name just Male or Female. A death record also matches the birth one.
The rules must have been changed at some point as I could not find my brothers record. I then found online a website that can find these records if you wish. However if parents are alive they have to give permission. If parents have died a sibling could find out but has to show evidence of relation. ie your own birth certificate and both parents death certificate.
Hayley and Pete were mature and dignified and rose positively out of a horrendous situation and I thank them for having the courage to allow the filming and showing of Kaiden's story.
However as a grandmother myself I just want to spare a thought for their mothers, Kaiden's grandmothers, who were so supportive to Hayley and Pete whilst going through agonies themselves.
As a mother you just want to nurture and protect your children and to see them going through this horrendous experience must have been unbearable but they, too, were dignified, loving and supportive.
The whole family has been in my thoughts since I watched it last night and again this morning as my OH wanted to see it on catch up.
Very distressing but also beautifully powerful. Life (and death) can be like that. We need to be reminded I think, just how precious life can be, and not take it for granted.
Rest in Peace little Kaiden...
I agree and me too. I hoped he would get through it.
Babies are so precious and vulnerable.
Just in case anyone doesn't know, you have to confirm your email address in the email sent from epetitions after you've signed to make it count.
Thank you for that information, though - helpful.
It is in general a positive funny documentary but I appreciate them showing the reality of life, its not all about happy endings. If some people can't cope with that then I suggest the Disney channel for them.
I agree BIB and I also think that this lovely couple would be so proud to know how many people little Kaiden touched with their sharing of this precious baby.
So did I, in fact I could cry again now, Hayley and Pete are such lovely people, the way they talked about Kaiden was so moving.
I just watched it tonight on FourSeven, not having read anything about it, and as the ad break began before the final part, one of those messages appeared on screen with the words RIP Kaiden ....so I knew what would happen before the last part of the programme.
A mistake by Ch4/FourSeven - not sure if it was a good or bad thing .. but at least it didn't take me by surprise - I always hope it will end well with such things.
Still made me very sad though - what lovely people.
Hope they have a lovely, healthy baby before too long.
I was so upset last night and even today - I have been blessed with 2 healthy children and I cannot begin to imagine what Kaiden's parents (and other parents who have lost a child) have endured. I counted my blessings when I popped into kiss my sleeping children that night.
May Kaiden's parents be comforted by the knowledge that their beautiful son has left a huge legacy - his passing has raised a great awareness of CDH. His parents are, quite simply, an amazing couple and their courage is inspiring.
Rest in peace, little angel xxx
Hayley and Pete - what a lovely couple. The extended family seemed lovely too. Apologies for disjointed post, still a bit emotional. R.I.P. wee Kaiden.
I hadn't watched it live but had recorded it for later. One of my colleagues had warned me that it was sad but I wasn't prepared for the very sad show tonight. The parents were so very brave to share their experience