Asking someone out via a text message, a good idea?

Red ArrowRed Arrow Posts: 10,889
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Ok so here is the deal. I was out the other night with a friend and some of her mates. One of the girls that was out I quite liked, we made eye contact a few times and she seemed to laugh at my silly jokes :p But as normal I didn't have the courage to ask her out that night, as well as other various reasons.

The thing is, it could be a couple of months before I see her again since she doesn't go out often so really my only chance of asking her out is via a text message.

I've never asked out a girl with a text before so I don't know how they look upon it. The way I see it is she will be more honest with me via text since if she doesn't want to go out with me she can easily turn me down. Unlike if it were face to face it's a bit harder to say no to someone.

So really me question is for the girls out there; if a guy you don't really know were to ask you out via a text, how would you look upon it?
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Comments

  • sootygirlsootygirl Posts: 2,311
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    Lol I asked my first boyfriend out by txt we were both too shy! :)

    I dont see it as a bad thing, go for it!!!!
  • stvn758stvn758 Posts: 19,656
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    Just don't send a picture of your erect penis, they don't like that apparantly.:)
  • SystemSystem Posts: 2,096,970
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    i would just ask her,i think its sweet and flattering no matter how youre asked,and if you arent gonna see her for a while its not like you have any other choice is it!! :) keep us updated and let me know what she says!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,121
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    I don't think it's a good idea for a number of reasons:
    1) They can ignore the text and pretend they never got it. You then text back to say 'why didn't you reply?', and it can make you seem a bit desperate/stalkerish.
    2) It's easier for them to say no. Plus they may think you are a coward, or not into them enough to ask them either face to face or verbally
    3) Waiting for a reply can be agonising!
  • Red ArrowRed Arrow Posts: 10,889
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    I don't think it's a good idea for a number of reasons:
    1) They can ignore the text and pretend they never got it. You then text back to say 'why didn't you reply?', and it can make you seem a bit desperate/stalkerish.
    2) It's easier for them to say no. Plus they may think you are a coward, or not into them enough to ask them either face to face or verbally
    3) Waiting for a reply can be agonising!

    Yeah I did point out about number 2 in my post, but that can be a good thing in the long run too. It means she will be more honest so if she were to say no then I know where I stand. Wither if I were to ask her face to face she may say yes but doesn't really want to go out with me. If you get what I mean.

    She is really shy herself, but her friends say she is nice and it's sweet that I like her.

    Will text her later tonight when my friend gets home so I can get her number, will update you all. :p
  • HollyCHollyC Posts: 5,850
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    Red Arrow wrote: »
    Yeah I did point out about number 2 in my post, but that can be a good thing in the long run too. It means she will be more honest so if she were to say no then I know where I stand. Wither if I were to ask her face to face she may say yes but doesn't really want to go out with me. If you get what I mean.

    She is really shy herself, but her friends say she is nice and it's sweet that I like her.

    Will text her later tonight when my friend gets home so I can get her number, will update you all. :p

    I think you should definitely go for it - good luck! :)
  • SystemSystem Posts: 2,096,970
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    Nothing wrong with it, texts are now part of everyday life. And they are also really good if you are shy. You must be prepared for the fact that in the interim she may have changed her mind, however - another thing about texts as opposed to asking face-to-face, they are easier to ignore and you are easier to delete. But hopefully not and all will be great. :)
  • DRY_SWEEPERDRY_SWEEPER Posts: 3,278
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    I don't think it's a good idea for a number of reasons:
    1) They can ignore the text and pretend they never got it. You then text back to say 'why didn't you reply?', and it can make you seem a bit desperate/stalkerish.
    2) It's easier for them to say no. Plus they may think you are a coward, or not into them enough to ask them either face to face or verbally
    3) Waiting for a reply can be agonising!

    most mobiles have delivery reports on them nowadays anyway
  • DRY_SWEEPERDRY_SWEEPER Posts: 3,278
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    Red Arrow wrote: »
    but her friends say she is nice and it's sweet that I like her.

    I wish you all the best
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 794
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    I have asked someone out by text, unfortunately they said no.

    It can be a great way to ask someone out if your too nervous/shy but beware the wait for them to reply is agaonzing - turn on delivery reports on your mobile so you know when they have the text and hope they reply quick.

    Good luck!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 265
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    nicemms wrote: »
    I have asked someone out by text, unfortunately they said no.

    It can be a great way to ask someone out if your too nervous/shy but beware the wait for them to reply is agaonzing - turn on delivery reports on your mobile so you know when they have the text and hope they reply quick.

    Good luck!

    Nothing worse than being single and waiting for a reply from a text from a member of the opposite sex, or I suppose same sex if that floats your boat :D
    I would say, I enjoyed speaking to you last night and since we probably won't see each other for ages, do you want to go out for a drink or something?
    Not too pushy and to the point.

    Good luck if you do. Life's too short to think about no's when it comes to dating.
  • sarahcssarahcs Posts: 8,734
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    I got asked out by text.
    We're now married!
  • Red ArrowRed Arrow Posts: 10,889
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    Y2Jamie wrote: »
    I would say, I enjoyed speaking to you last night and since we probably won't see each other for ages, do you want to go out for a drink or something?
    Not too pushy and to the point.

    Yeah that was basically what I'm going to say, but was going to add at the start something like "I hope you don't mind I got your number from X". I'm nervous right now just waiting on my friend to come home to get the number :D
    Y2Jamie wrote:
    Good luck if you do. Life's too short to think about no's when it comes to dating.

    Exactly, spent to much of my life thinking about stuff like this and never doing anything about it.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 411
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    I don't think I have ever asked someone out face to face. I think keeping it informal and cheeky is the best thing to do - very easy to achieve via text! I wouldn't go straight in for the kill though - maybe a bit of textual conversation first?
  • AcerBenAcerBen Posts: 21,274
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    Doing it by text is cowardly. Give her a call!
  • That BlokeThat Bloke Posts: 6,352
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    Red Arrow wrote: »
    Yeah that was basically what I'm going to say, but was going to add at the start something like "I hope you don't mind I got your number from X". I'm nervous right now just waiting on my friend to come home to get the number :D
    Don't forget to put who you are as well! It could be a bit confusing to her otherwise :D

    Good luck, and I don't think it is cowardly. As you said, you are also more likely to get an honest answer rather than an "on the spot and too embarrassed to say no" one.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 794
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    Exactly, spent to much of my life thinking about stuff like this and never doing anything about it.[/quote]

    Story of my life so far mate! I never seem to learn either. So just go for it!
  • Red ArrowRed Arrow Posts: 10,889
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    Well text was sent about 20 min ago, got a delivery report instantly. My friend said she is not the type of person who replies straight away, so no idea when I will get a reply.

    Hope she is not reading this :p
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 265
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    Red Arrow wrote: »
    Well text was sent about 20 min ago, got a delivery report instantly. My friend said she is not the type of person who replies straight away, so no idea when I will get a reply.

    Hope she is not reading this :p

    Well done.
    Keep us posted!:D
  • gregrichardsgregrichards Posts: 4,913
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    Personally I think it depends on your age if your 14 then its ok, but if your in your twenties or older I think it would be better to call.

    I think a lot of women must like guys with confidence and having the guts to call shows that.

    Its hard asking someone out, life would be a lot easier if people were direct and didn't play mind games.
  • DRY_SWEEPERDRY_SWEEPER Posts: 3,278
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    any news
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,023
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    It doesn't hurt but all i know is confidence is the most attractive quality on a guy, so while you're not doing yourself any harm asking her out by text, if you phoned her instead I honestly believe you'd increase your chances a great deal by showing her you're a confident guy.

    I can get shy as a kitten with a girl I genuinely like, and i remember the first time I called a girl to ask her out she could probably hear my hear thumping. It's wasn't an enjoyable experience until she said yes, then I was on cloud 9!

    Texting's the easy option and really depends on whether or not she likes you back, phoning her shows her you're the Alpha Male with confidence, something that can be irresistible to a girl.... I'd get a steel girder for a backbone and give her a call mate!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,683
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    Personally I think it depends on your age if your 14 then its ok, but if your in your twenties or older I think it would be better to call.

    I think a lot of women must like guys with confidence and having the guts to call shows that.
    I'm not the shy type but if someone randomly asked me out over the phone I wouldn't be particularly happy - it could make for an awkward situation if I didn't want to go.

    I would prefer it to be asked by a text message, it can give more time to think about a response and is more likely to be final rather than possibly saying yes because you were put on the spot and then letting them down later once you've properly thought about it.

    OP, any news yet?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,363
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    *Em* wrote: »
    I'm not the shy type but if someone randomly asked me out over the phone I wouldn't be particularly happy - it could make for an awkward situation if I didn't want to go.

    I would prefer it to be asked by a text message, it can give more time to think about a response and is more likely to be final rather than possibly saying yes because you were put on the spot and then letting them down later once you've properly thought about it.

    OP, any news yet?

    I totally agree. I don't like awkward conversations, and if someone I didn't fancy called me to ask me out it could be very hard to say no. A text message could be subtle, give you time to think of a response, and ensure things don't get embarressing the next time you see each other (if the answer is no).

    Good luck OP, anything yet?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,882
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    I think asking her out by text is a great idea. It means she doesn't get caught surprised, and can compose herself and send back a "sensible" answer.

    Then , if she agrees, phone her and make arrangements that way. Then, you know you'll get a positive response and she will have had time to collect her thoughts and its not out of the blue and it should be a more relaxed phone call.

    hope it works out!
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