Ice Age: It just occured to me...
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It just occured to me that according to Hollywood’s current tradition, in 5-10 years there will be another “Ice Age” movie. But of course, it won’t be part 5, but a re-boot. “The movies were fun, but they were a bit too much fun”, the studio will state. “Movies, however, aren’t supposed to be all about fun, they also should make you feel more intelligent than you in fact might be.”
So, in order to give the new instalment a grittier, more realistic look, the illusion of a hand-held camera will be created, and of course, there will be a massive use of blue or green filters, such as were used in films like "Minority Report" and "The Matrix". Obviously, none of the animals will be able to speak. At least, not English. The noises they will be making will be subtitled. The new film will concentrate on Manny’s depressions and insecurities, Diego’s feelings that he was born in a wrong body and would in fact much rather be a pigeon, the problematic situation in Sid’s family (social aspects, as well as the fact that he was the product of the forbidden love between his father and his aunt) and, naturally, Scrat’s traumatic experience as a child that caused him to be dependent on nuts. Everybody will be calling it a masterpiece and claiming that this should have been the right way to do it from the start, back then, in 2002.
So, in order to give the new instalment a grittier, more realistic look, the illusion of a hand-held camera will be created, and of course, there will be a massive use of blue or green filters, such as were used in films like "Minority Report" and "The Matrix". Obviously, none of the animals will be able to speak. At least, not English. The noises they will be making will be subtitled. The new film will concentrate on Manny’s depressions and insecurities, Diego’s feelings that he was born in a wrong body and would in fact much rather be a pigeon, the problematic situation in Sid’s family (social aspects, as well as the fact that he was the product of the forbidden love between his father and his aunt) and, naturally, Scrat’s traumatic experience as a child that caused him to be dependent on nuts. Everybody will be calling it a masterpiece and claiming that this should have been the right way to do it from the start, back then, in 2002.
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Comments
That was pretty much the heart of my joke... Hold on, joke? Let's talk again in ten years time.
They will more than likely make a fifth one.
Indeed, but Ice Age 4 was a complete letdown for me, loved 1-3 but 4....one too far i thought.
The second film felt like movie-maker salary gold. It was made for the sake of it, and I didn't much enjoy it aside from a few odd gags.
The third film abandoned the 'heart' aspect of the original, tried to add something bizarrely new and was actually quite funny in parts. Nothing amazing, but worth a watch.
The fourth felt like that movie-maker salary pay dirt again. It wasn't as bad as the second was, but had deviated too far from the original concept too much I think.
In a way these films remind me quite a bit of the Madagascar franchise. Neither offers an amazing original film, but they do enough to consider a watch now and again (in my opinion, Ice Age is superior). The sequels then deviate so much just to make them happen that even the title of the series is made slightly redundant - Madagascar 3 doesn't even feature the island in question, and neither did the second.