Kirk Norcross - I've slept with 1000 women

13

Comments

  • NorthernNinnyNorthernNinny Posts: 18,412
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Blondie X wrote: »
    How many of these people would have slept with him if he wasn't on tv and his dad wasn't a millionaire?

    Answers on a postcard........

    On the back of a postage stamp more like.;)
  • elnombreelnombre Posts: 3,625
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Assuming that this walnut-faced pube-haired gurn on a stick began having sex at the age of 14, given he's now 24, that gives us 10 years of sexual activity.

    Given he claims to have 'stopped' when in 'serious relationships' and given that for a relationship to be considered serious I think we can reasonably say it has to have lasted at least 3 months and upward. He says 'serious relationships' as a plural, so let's take a conservative estimate and shave 2 years for times when he was in a monogamous relationship.

    Even this Wayne-Rooney-looking-in-the-back-of-a-spoon-alike lothario must get ill some of the time (weeping sores around the genitals, for instance), so let's knock 6 further months off for illness, rest, penile-reattachment surgery etc.

    That leaves us with 7 years and 6 months, so roughly one new conquest every 2.7 days.

    What can we possibly declare other than that this charmingly gormless belm-mugged Casanova of the 21st century is a very discerning young man. Or a lying halfwit. I'm undecided.
  • Blondie XBlondie X Posts: 28,662
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    elnombre wrote: »
    Assuming that this walnut-faced pube-haired gurn on a stick began having sex at the age of 14, given he's now 24, that gives us 10 years of sexual activity.

    Given he claims to have 'stopped' when in 'serious relationships' and given that for a relationship to be considered serious I think we can reasonably say it has to have lasted at least 3 months and upward. He says 'serious relationships' as a plural, so let's take a conservative estimate and shave 2 years for times when he was in a monogamous relationship.

    Even this Wayne-Rooney-looking-in-the-back-of-a-spoon-alike lothario must get ill some of the time (weeping sores around the genitals, for instance), so let's knock 6 further months off for illness, rest, penile-reattachment surgery etc.

    That leaves us with 7 years and 6 months, so roughly one new conquest every 2.7 days.

    What can we possibly declare other than that this charmingly gormless belm-mugged Casanova of the 21st century is a very discerning young man. Or a lying halfwit. I'm undecided.

    Nothing to add but :D:D:D:D
  • gulliverfoylegulliverfoyle Posts: 6,318
    Forum Member
    elnombre wrote: »
    Assuming that this walnut-faced pube-haired gurn on a stick began having sex at the age of 14, given he's now 24, that gives us 10 years of sexual activity.

    Given he claims to have 'stopped' when in 'serious relationships' and given that for a relationship to be considered serious I think we can reasonably say it has to have lasted at least 3 months and upward. He says 'serious relationships' as a plural, so let's take a conservative estimate and shave 2 years for times when he was in a monogamous relationship.

    Even this Wayne-Rooney-looking-in-the-back-of-a-spoon-alike lothario must get ill some of the time (weeping sores around the genitals, for instance), so let's knock 6 further months off for illness, rest, penile-reattachment surgery etc.

    That leaves us with 7 years and 6 months, so roughly one new conquest every 2.7 days.

    What can we possibly declare other than that this charmingly gormless belm-mugged Casanova of the 21st century is a very discerning young man. Or a lying halfwit. I'm undecided.


    exactly

    whenever i here i slept with X thousand women i always think

    bullshine unless you a pornstar

    its all about averages

    you just cant keep it up (badum tiss)

    whatever it is divide by about 50

    women lie about age men about sex
  • Von TrappVon Trapp Posts: 398
    Forum Member
    elnombre wrote: »
    Assuming that this walnut-faced pube-haired gurn on a stick began having sex at the age of 14, given he's now 24, that gives us 10 years of sexual activity.

    Given he claims to have 'stopped' when in 'serious relationships' and given that for a relationship to be considered serious I think we can reasonably say it has to have lasted at least 3 months and upward. He says 'serious relationships' as a plural, so let's take a conservative estimate and shave 2 years for times when he was in a monogamous relationship.

    Even this Wayne-Rooney-looking-in-the-back-of-a-spoon-alike lothario must get ill some of the time (weeping sores around the genitals, for instance), so let's knock 6 further months off for illness, rest, penile-reattachment surgery etc.

    That leaves us with 7 years and 6 months, so roughly one new conquest every 2.7 days.

    What can we possibly declare other than that this charmingly gormless belm-mugged Casanova of the 21st century is a very discerning young man. Or a lying halfwit. I'm undecided.

    They must have been throwing themselves at him when he pops to the shop! Unless he has out on the pull every 2 days since he was 14. BTW never heard of him until this thread never watched TOWIE and feel far superior for it as well! :D
  • FusionFuryFusionFury Posts: 14,121
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Amy Childs is quite a achievement for him really - I bet she's pretty wild in bed.

    Having seen that porn star's Gemma Massey performance I see the attraction!
  • glaschelleglaschelle Posts: 536
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Is that not a misprint? "I've slept with ONE woman"
  • L-unaL-una Posts: 228
    Forum Member
    elnombre wrote: »

    Wayne-Rooney-looking-in-the-back-of-a-spoon-alike

    Best description ever!
  • SuperAPJSuperAPJ Posts: 10,402
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Cue lots of fame-hungry girls sending Kirk tweets along the lines of 'Hey Kirk wana mak dat 1001 LOL xxx'.
  • MrSuperMrSuper Posts: 18,473
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    FusionFury wrote: »
    Amy Childs is quite a achievement for him really - I bet she's pretty wild in bed.

    Having seen that porn star's Gemma Massey performance I see the attraction!

    Care to provide a link for research purposes of course? ;):D;)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,660
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I don't find it hard to believe. Give me a day and I could find a thousand that would on Twitter alone.
  • scottie2121scottie2121 Posts: 11,284
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    Can't be true as the moron can't count to more than three - and that's with the help of his fingers!
  • mvlocamvloca Posts: 955
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    I can sort of see it as I fancied him at the start of the show (when he looked normal). He has good banter and can actually string a sentence together unlike pretty much everyone else on TOWIE (Goodger was the worst, I don't think she ever actually uttered one grammatically correct sentence in 3 years).

    I always thought he had nice eyes too, very sparky and cheeky. Not particularly handsome but good patter, quite cheeky and funny. It was only once he returned that I started to dislike him (I believe he was horrid on CBB but I've never watched it), his arrogance and general penilhead-ness was palpable. He's clearly got a bit of a dark side, compounded when Lauren Pope said "I wish I could have the nice you all the time".

    I doubt he's had even 800 women though. I also doubt Amy Childs is wild in bed.
  • DaughterqueenDaughterqueen Posts: 143
    Forum Member
    Blondie X wrote: »
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2308854/Ive-sex-1-000-women-TOWIEs-Kirk-Norcross-gives-jaw-dropping-insight-his-voracious-sexual-appetite.html

    How? On CBB he was a vile letch whose idea of a chat up line is 'are your tits real? F**k off are they'.

    I do think this shows that if you put a pig on tv,. someone would want to shag it. :eek:

    Where is the vomit smilie when you need it?

    Well I am a fan - sex on legs and funny with it. I'd definitely like to sniff under her sweaty hairy armpits.
  • Leicester_HunkLeicester_Hunk Posts: 18,316
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    I didn't know there were so many women with lousy eyesight all atracted to the same bloke
  • mvlocamvloca Posts: 955
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    I didn't know there were so many women with lousy eyesight all atracted to the same bloke

    Haha, I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder. I personally abhor Mark Wright in every way possible. I think he's nasty, arrogant, spiteful and lacking in every way - personality, intelligence, humour and absolutely charmless.

    And yet ITV think he's appropriate to host a TV show (albeit a low rent show on satellite).
  • ButterfaceButterface Posts: 2,709
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    mvloca wrote: »
    Haha, I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder. I personally abhor Mark Wright in every way possible. I think he's nasty, arrogant, spiteful and lacking in every way - personality, intelligence, humour and absolutely charmless.

    And yet ITV think he's appropriate to host a TV show (albeit a low rent show on satellite).

    Am with you absolutely one thousand per cent re that description.
  • mrblankmrblank Posts: 5,687
    Forum Member
    irish model georgia salpa had his number on CBB he persuded her she gave him the go by quite rightly she was far to classy for him
  • ButterfaceButterface Posts: 2,709
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Within ten minutes of talking to him, she visibly cringed every time he approached her. When he eventually got the message she wasn't interested, he became nasty and spiteful.

    IMO his personality on CBB and Towie absolutely stunk to high heaven.
  • Blondie XBlondie X Posts: 28,662
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Well I am a fan - sex on legs and funny with it. I'd definitely like to sniff under her sweaty hairy armpits.

    Since when has thick as sh*t neanderthal with questionable sexual etiquette been considered funny? :confused:

    I'd rather laugh with my men than at them but each to their own
  • The PrumeisterThe Prumeister Posts: 22,398
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Butterface wrote: »
    Within ten minutes of talking to him, she visibly cringed every time he approached her. When he eventually got the message she wasn't interested, he became nasty and spiteful.

    IMO his personality on CBB and Towie absolutely stunk to high heaven.




    Yup.

    Petulant, spoilt, arrogant and a sex pest to boot.

    He might have a fit bod and Daddy's money to throw around, but to be honest, The Chuckle Brothers would be a better catch.
  • ButterfaceButterface Posts: 2,709
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    That made me laugh so much The Prumeister :D
  • Beautiful_HarvBeautiful_Harv Posts: 9,144
    Forum Member
    FusionFury wrote: »
    Amy Childs is quite a achievement for him really - I bet she's pretty wild in bed.

    Having seen that porn star's Gemma Massey performance I see the attraction!

    i cant decide if you are being sarcastic or not.
    She really doesnt strike me as being the wild in bed sort but you never can tell i suppose.
  • dd68dd68 Posts: 17,833
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    I still find it hilarious that when people say 'slept with' they mean had sex with.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 5,347
    Forum Member
    The most alarming this about that statement is that it is proof positive that there are clearly a lot of desperate women out there with extremely low standards(and no doubt self esteem). Can't stand the little tosser.
Sign In or Register to comment.