How to deal/cope with someone you know who as passed away

brain_higgybrain_higgy Posts: 500
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Not a relative as such but next door neighbor whom i have known for at least 20 odd yrs has passed away, she died of old age at 93 and she has some what been a granny/nanny figure in a way and and since known her ever since first moved in the house and stayed next to her every single day and now today passed away

how do you deal/cope with some one who has passed away

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  • kippehkippeh Posts: 6,655
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    Being a beneficiary in the will often helps me.
  • brain_higgybrain_higgy Posts: 500
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    kippeh wrote: »
    Being a beneficiary in the will often helps me.

    what is a beneficiary and how does that help with grief
  • AnitaSAnitaS Posts: 4,079
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    Not a relative as such but next door neighbor whom i have known for at least 20 odd yrs has passed away, she died of old age at 93 and she has some what been a granny/nanny figure in a way and and since known her ever since first moved in the house and stayed next to her every single day and now today passed away

    how do you deal/cope with some one who has passed away
    Treasure your memories of her, share your thoughts with her family, they'll appreciate it. Remember her with affection.
  • AidanLunnAidanLunn Posts: 5,320
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    what is a beneficiary and how does that help with grief

    I think it was rather a dark joke.

    The best thing to do is to remember the happier times you had with her. Eventually you will come round to thinking she is probably better off dead than suffering in any way (if she was suffering, that is).

    Sorry to hear about the loss of your nan, by the way.
  • brain_higgybrain_higgy Posts: 500
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    AidanLunn wrote: »
    I think it was rather a dark joke.

    The best thing to do is to remember the happier times you had with her. Eventually you will come round to thinking she is probably better off dead than suffering in any way (if she was suffering, that is).

    Sorry to hear about the loss of your nan, by the way.

    thanks but she wasnt my nan she was an elder women who was my next door neighbor for 20yrs since i moved in the house but she was like a nan to me in a way

    its ashame she passed away
  • SwipeSwipe Posts: 6,381
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    We've all got to go someday. No point dwelling on it.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,916
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    All my immediate family older than me died before I got to 40. You just deal with it as death, grief and emotion is a fundamental tenet of living and just another part of life's rich tapestry. You can see it in action when you start to be invited to more funerals than you are weddings.
  • AndrueAndrue Posts: 23,351
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    kippeh wrote: »
    Being a beneficiary in the will often helps me.
    What a nasty thing to say. Bloody funny though, as well :)

    To the OP: It's hard to give general advice. Different people grieve in different ways.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,916
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    Another thing I find which helps is to watch re-recordings of them so they don't fade away.
  • OvalteenieOvalteenie Posts: 24,169
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    A former classmate of mine from university died by jumping off a bridge in a major city some years ago. He was suffering from depression. Not a close friend but knew him well enough to say hi & stop for a chat but still i was shocked when i read about it in the papers. He was only in his 20s, graduated with a decent job in London and in the prime of his life. Such a tragedy :(
  • SULLASULLA Posts: 149,789
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    Not a relative as such but next door neighbor whom i have known for at least 20 odd yrs has passed away, she died of old age at 93 and she has some what been a granny/nanny figure in a way and and since known her ever since first moved in the house and stayed next to her every single day and now today passed away

    how do you deal/cope with some one who has passed away

    Celebrate their life and remember them with affection.
  • skp20040skp20040 Posts: 66,872
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    Not a relative as such but next door neighbor whom i have known for at least 20 odd yrs has passed away, she died of old age at 93 and she has some what been a granny/nanny figure in a way and and since known her ever since first moved in the house and stayed next to her every single day and now today passed away

    how do you deal/cope with some one who has passed away

    Have a good old cry , and deal with it your way day by day, but don't bottle it up talk about it if you feel the need to, and in time like with most bereavements the pain dulls and the nice memories remain. I don't think we ever "get over" the loss of those we love but we deal with it and we learn to live with it and get on with our lives as that's the only option.
  • Flat MattFlat Matt Posts: 7,023
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    When a person close to you dies, the fact that they have died is all you can think about.

    In time you concentrate on the fact that before they died they lived, and thinking about them will bring a smile to your face instead of tears.
  • *animasana**animasana* Posts: 1,712
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    I don't know how, or even if, I'll be able to cope with my grief.
    But I do know that the time is fast approaching, and fear I'll be finding out quite soon.

    I should have stayed out of this thread......
  • McMahauldMcMahauld Posts: 1,257
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    Whatever you do in future, however bad, you can console yourself
    with the thought, "That's what granny/nanny figure would've wanted."
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