Worst Facebook status updates

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  • TrollHunterTrollHunter Posts: 12,496
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    ^^^ As above. When you delete someone do they get a notification? Or do you have to actively search through your friends list and cross reference the current list with yesterday's back-up file to check if they're all still your friend?
  • ScoundreldaysScoundreldays Posts: 1,373
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    BellaRosa wrote: »
    DaisieBee wrote: »

    How do these people know someone has deleted them :confused: They must keep count of their 'friends' daily to notice :eek:
    ^^^ As above. When you delete someone do they get a notification? Or do you have to actively search through your friends list and cross reference the current list with yesterday's back-up file to check if they're all still your friend?

    I've often wondered that. I have a friend who often makes posts about how those that have deleted her can't have been real friends after all. She takes it so personally. I'm thinking 'how do you know?' I don't keep track of who everyone on my friends list is & doubt I'd notice if someone had deleted me or even be bothered really.
  • OhWhenTheSaintsOhWhenTheSaints Posts: 12,531
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    My old college lecturer used to tell us about a girl that he had on his news feed and she used to post some ridiculous stuff but one day apparently she kept posting stuff like "FED UP WIV ALL THE ARGUMENTS XXX :'(:'(:'(" and then after a few of those, a couple of hours later posted "Mmm make up sex is always the best...was hunrgy but full up now ;)"

    At that point apparently he deleted her! :D
  • Rachael.Rachael. Posts: 2,331
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    Someone on my friend list has just liked one of his friends pictures in which the girl has stripped naked and put herself in the oven.
  • Miss XYZMiss XYZ Posts: 14,023
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    Not a status but a comment on a status:

    rip, forts r wiv her family so young xx
  • WhiteShadeWhiteShade Posts: 388
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    It jerks me that whenever someone young has died the dedications on FB always portray them as the nicest person to have lived. God himself doesn't think so does he! So why brown nose and sprout runbish when half the time these people I know or have heard about were mostly anything but nice.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,606
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    The word 'wiv'. It's chav ID.
  • bookaddictbookaddict Posts: 2,806
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    The word 'wiv'. It's chav ID.

    Along with gawjus, and angles (when they mean angels).
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24
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    From one of those 'sleeping with the angles' threads:

    May you rest in pies sweet girl all miss you with ever inch of what I am xx
  • Jason100Jason100 Posts: 17,222
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    Posted just now from my timeline: "Want 2 say a big thank-you 2 thous of u that have been here 4me 2day n showin me who my friends r or even poss friends 2b, thank-you u all u av bin a big help, will fink about what 2do about my fb account. -x-"

    I predict the first comment will be: "Aww, what's up hun?"
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 653
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    I've recently befriended a friend-of-a-friend on Facebook. In real life she's very loud but harmless. I get the impression she wants to be liked by everyone.

    On Facebook... all of her statuses come across as someone who wants everyone to believe she is the perfect wife and has the perfect family (I've heard through our mutual friend that this woman is always arguing with her husband).

    She'll post mundane things like, "OMG so much housework to do today!" then two hours later "Washing done. It's all rush, rush, rush today before going on the school run. Such a good housewifey", then later she'll update with what she's cooking for dinner, then later on in the evening update with how much her husband and children loved it. In between time she posts tons of pics of herself posing, or her kids.

    I just can't stand people who overcompensate on Facebook. They want everyone to believe their life is great and everything is amazing. I'm friends with someone who constantly posts pics of herself posing with her boyfriend - at a restaurant, in her back garden, out shopping. I've been with my OH for a long time but I've never felt the need to grab the camera before tucking into our dinner at a restaurant! And then share said pic on Facebook to let the world know we do things together!
  • los.kavlos.kav Posts: 8,053
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    bookaddict wrote: »
    los.kav - did anybody point these things out to your friend? :D:D

    Some of the replies are hilarious, I have to say. But I didn't even notice those ironies: I noticed the irony that the bombing was in fact in the name of religion, just not her religion, so therefore she doesn't think it counts. :D I keep her on my friends list because she's that special kind of stupid that causes hilarity (usually on the weekends when she's had a few).
  • Scarlett FeverScarlett Fever Posts: 718
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    My prayers go out to anyone injured in the bombing. If we didn't have science and only relied on religion we wouldn't have this problem though... Bombs are a product of science. I maintain the fact science is the Devil's work.



    los.kav wrote: »
    Forgot to post this one. It was the day after the Boston bombing (by two Islamic extremists)

    yes, because we never had wars before we had science, oh wait.... yes we did (am MORE people died)
  • Tt88Tt88 Posts: 6,827
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    petit-pois wrote: »
    I've recently befriended a friend-of-a-friend on Facebook. In real life she's very loud but harmless. I get the impression she wants to be liked by everyone.

    On Facebook... all of her statuses come across as someone who wants everyone to believe she is the perfect wife and has the perfect family (I've heard through our mutual friend that this woman is always arguing with her husband).

    She'll post mundane things like, "OMG so much housework to do today!" then two hours later "Washing done. It's all rush, rush, rush today before going on the school run. Such a good housewifey", then later she'll update with what she's cooking for dinner, then later on in the evening update with how much her husband and children loved it. In between time she posts tons of pics of herself posing, or her kids.

    I just can't stand people who overcompensate on Facebook. They want everyone to believe their life is great and everything is amazing. I'm friends with someone who constantly posts pics of herself posing with her boyfriend - at a restaurant, in her back garden, out shopping. I've been with my OH for a long time but I've never felt the need to grab the camera before tucking into our dinner at a restaurant! And then share said pic on Facebook to let the world know we do things together!

    Exactly this! Ive been with my partner years yet i never say how i love him on facebook, since i tell him in real life! Theres not many pictures of us together but we are a good couple.

    I have someone who constantly comments on her husband and how brilliant he is, writes soppy statuses to him (even though he doesnt have fb) and tells everyone monthly how long theyve been together. Om a recent night out all they did was argue all night and then she went and wrote what a great day they had and more lovey dovey stuff! So the people she was with knew they were arguing and bitching at each other all night, but to all her other friends they had a perfect romantic night out!
  • CloudbustingCloudbusting Posts: 650
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    Jason100 wrote: »
    "Want 2 say a big thank-you 2 thous of u that have been here 4me 2day n showin me who my friends r or even poss friends 2b, thank-you u all u av bin a big help, will fink about what 2do about my fb account. -x-"

    Reading that makes my head hurt.

    When did proper use of spelling and grammar become so unfashionable? :(
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,888
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    Rachael. wrote: »
    Someone on my friend list has just liked one of his friends pictures in which the girl has stripped naked and put herself in the oven.

    Oh god, Why would someone get in the oven naked? That's really weird....and unhygienic. :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,715
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    Not a status update, but the "For Sale in..." Pages are cropping up more and more and I have recently seen a friend ridiculously overpricing things that she should just throw away eg macdonalds toys and videos (which she's trying to sell for £2.50 each) then if someone in a rush of utter madness expresses interest in these items, said friend rudely dismisses them "I'm selling for my sister she won't go for a pound under the asking price" (this was for an old plush, with some marks bean bag cover in need of the beans). I would be embarrassed to sell half of the stuff she's selling as most of it is really worn and dirty, and she'd definitely be better off trying to sell at a boot fair. Recently see on there someone trying to sell some boxer shorts... Why?! The way they've been photographed is also quite terrible with some topless beer bellied chap holding them up against his grey joggers.
    I sometimes take a look at the comments, these pages being a guilty pleasure of mine, utterly terrible "hm Hun xxxxx can u deliver" "no Hun sorry xxxxxx" "okaiii hun xxxx" all the same I'm sure!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,254
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    Piper E wrote: »
    Not a status update, but the "For Sale in..." Pages are cropping up more and more and I have recently seen a friend ridiculously overpricing things that she should just throw away eg macdonalds toys and videos (which she's trying to sell for £2.50 each) then if someone in a rush of utter madness expresses interest in these items, said friend rudely dismisses them "I'm selling for my sister she won't go for a pound under the asking price" (this was for an old plush, with some marks bean bag cover in need of the beans). I would be embarrassed to sell half of the stuff she's selling as most of it is really worn and dirty, and she'd definitely be better off trying to sell at a boot fair. Recently see on there someone trying to sell some boxer shorts... Why?! The way they've been photographed is also quite terrible with some topless beer bellied chap holding them up against his grey joggers.
    I sometimes take a look at the comments, these pages being a guilty pleasure of mine, utterly terrible "hm Hun xxxxx can u deliver" "no Hun sorry xxxxxx" "okaiii hun xxxx" all the same I'm sure!

    Haha "would you take £2 hun"
  • los.kavlos.kav Posts: 8,053
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    *update!*
    Shock! Horror! I just went to find that mad woman again, because she usually posts an insane status once per day, and she's gone from my friends list! She must have taken me off! :o I'm an atheist, mind you, while she's insanely religious, so it's not much of a surprise, but still! I'm hurt! Where will I go for daily madness? :cry:
  • SuperAPJSuperAPJ Posts: 10,402
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    This thread has made me realise how mundane many of my own status updates were! Consequently, I've cringed at and deleted a load of them from the beginning an haven't posted a new one in about a year.
    anchorgirl wrote: »
    May you rest in pies sweet girl

    Ha ha! That's a funny image!
    Jason100 wrote: »
    Posted just now from my timeline: "[...]thank-you u all u av bin a big help, will fink about what 2do about my fb account. -x-"

    I predict the first comment will be: "Aww, what's up hun?"

    Other comments will be along the lines of: "Dnt go hun xxx" and "Y u deltin ur accnt babes?? xxx"
    petit-pois wrote: »
    On Facebook... all of her statuses come across as someone who wants everyone to believe she is the perfect wife and has the perfect family

    That seems to be the appeal of Facebook for most people - living out online the life you wish you had. You can skip talking about all the dull stuff like work and make out, with photographic evidence of course, that your week is just one long party!
  • Central cakeCentral cake Posts: 5,625
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    Just had this one

    Covered head to toe in calamine lotion lol bless her she looks albino

    With a picture of her daughter then holding her top up covered in the lotion.

    She is a nightmare with her statuses.

    A few more from her.

    Can not believe my our 5 year old daughter is beat boxing and rapping on the bus! This girl kills it! I'm creasing!
    I asked what she had killed. No reply

    Loves my ash sooo much! I said to him I'm struggling to get this stunt scooter he wanted as their a bit pricey and he said "mom don't worry, don't waste your money I don't need one, maybe I can have some clothes and some hotwheel cars" aww he melts my heart bless him. can't wait to take him out on the evening xxx
    Yet the picture after is her drunk and necking loads of drinks.
  • DianaFireDianaFire Posts: 12,711
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    anchorgirl wrote: »
    From one of those 'sleeping with the angles' threads:

    May you rest in pies sweet girl all miss you with ever inch of what I am xx

    Haha - beautiful.
  • hobbleithobbleit Posts: 10,709
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    I received a friend request from someone I don't know so before declining I had a nose about their profile and I saw this little gem:
    If i could giv u 1ting i wil giv u the ability to c ur self through my eyez only dan u wil u kw hw special u ar to me
  • MookyboyMookyboy Posts: 762
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    BellaRosa wrote: »
    DaisieBee wrote: »

    How do these people know someone has deleted them :confused: They must keep count of their 'friends' daily to notice :eek:

    If you use Google Chrome as you web browser, there is a application you can get to add to Chrome and it basically gives you additional information whilst you use Facebook, including a list of people who have recently deleted you, so I imagine they might use that (or something similar).

    I don't use it the add on, but the other half does.
  • MookyboyMookyboy Posts: 762
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    This is from a friend who went away camping recently with his other half. This is the most pointless thing I have ever read on Facebook!

    "So I go into the tent and grab some pasties and pork pies from cool box for XYZ and I give them to him and he says I dont like pork pies". Why did you buy them then babes? "oh for you" how cute and loving is that I loves you XYZ, so thoughtful xxx"

    He bought you some pork pies, get over it!! :D
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