Richard Madeley really is Alan Partridge

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  • nextloislanenextloislane Posts: 1,325
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    Richard has been on good form for a while lately, but it was Alan Partridge overload when Marco Pierre White was on. Mr Cool met Mr Tool :D

    Marco puts a flag down at Beachy Head in the opening shot of his new series. This gets Richard going off about suicide, whereby he tells Marco "people who jump off Beachy Head always change their mind ... coroners will tell you this, because they find fingernails AND FINGERTIPS just on the edge as they go because they all change their minds" Richard states this as absolute fact, but with a grin, satisifed that he can impart his own wisdom on a bemused Marco. Judy telling him to shut up didn't work as he demanded "I can't understand why they don't have patrols there?" brief pause to answer his own question (no one else seemed to care) "I think they do, but clearly they're not 100%" the end of his twitterings on life and death, and I PMSL. It was nice to eventually hear Marco talk about his series.

    My Theory about Beachy Head ... people are watching Richard And Judy on a portable TV and they decide life just ain't worth it, but when they throw themselves off the top, the adverts come on so they do change their minds and that's how all the discarded fingertips build up :D

    Richard let your guests talk - if I want to hear useless drivel I'll go and talk to the nutter in the pub or put a talk radio station on.

    He also chose to ask Gabriella Cheeky Girl if Lembit ever fancied a threesome with Monica. Their mother was also a guest on the sofa. I was surprised he didn't ask Cheeky Mum if Lembit could have a crack at her. What goes on in his head? ... Richard, saying all this stuff in private would be bad enough, but it is a national TV show! Judy was very pissed off when he was bringing up the idea of Cheeky Orgies.

    LOL matt, great minds think alike: all i could see was dickie, who thinks he is the ultimate alpha male, feeling totally threatened by marco, who lets face it, is the manliest man ever to walk the earth

    his body language as they talked: arms folded, legs crossed, rictus grin.....while marco just arranged himself almost horizontally on the sofa and judy simpered damply....it was hilarious, i think alan was a bit threatened there, pmsl
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,488
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    LOL matt, great minds think alike: all i could see was dickie, who thinks he is the ultimate alpha male, feeling totally threatened by marco, who lets face it, is the manliest man ever to walk the earth

    his body language as they talked: arms folded, legs crossed, rictus grin.....while marco just arranged himself almost horizontally on the sofa and judy simpered damply....it was hilarious, i think alan was a bit threatened there, pmsl

    Oh, I wish I had seen that but I'm afraid R&J are well down my list of must sees. Is it on Youtube?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,225
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    Richard has been on good form for a while lately, but it was Alan Partridge overload when Marco Pierre White was on. Mr Cool met Mr Tool :D

    Marco puts a flag down at Beachy Head in the opening shot of his new series. This gets Richard going off about suicide, whereby he tells Marco "people who jump off Beachy Head always change their mind ... coroners will tell you this, because they find fingernails AND FINGERTIPS just on the edge as they go because they all change their minds" Richard states this as absolute fact, but with a grin, satisifed that he can impart his own wisdom on a bemused Marco. Judy telling him to shut up didn't work as he demanded "I can't understand why they don't have patrols there?" brief pause to answer his own question (no one else seemed to care) "I think they do, but clearly they're not 100%" the end of his twitterings on life and death, and I PMSL. It was nice to eventually hear Marco talk about his series.

    My Theory about Beachy Head ... people are watching Richard And Judy on a portable TV and they decide life just ain't worth it, but when they throw themselves off the top, the adverts come on so they do change their minds and that's how all the discarded fingertips build up :D

    Richard let your guests talk - if I want to hear useless drivel I'll go and talk to the nutter in the pub or put a talk radio station on.

    He also chose to ask Gabriella Cheeky Girl if Lembit ever fancied a threesome with Monica. Their mother was also a guest on the sofa. I was surprised he didn't ask Cheeky Mum if Lembit could have a crack at her. What goes on in his head? ... Richard, saying all this stuff in private would be bad enough, but it is a national TV show! Judy was very pissed off when he was bringing up the idea of Cheeky Orgies.

    I was weeping with laughter reading this post. Thank you.

    He really is a total knob isn;t he?!
    x
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,715
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    He is book club babe! I'm glad you got a giggle out of that post. Their show is often (cringe cringe) comedy gold.

    As Lois said Marco really was Mr Alpha Male, and when Richard said people changed their minds about jumping off Beachy Head, and their fingernails got left behind he could see Marco wasn't batting an eyelid, that's why he upped the ante by saying AND FINGERTIPS ... but again Marco had a face like he was waiting for the queue to move in the bank rather than being in awe of Richard's knowledge. :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 376
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    Richard the forensic investigator
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,796
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    bonzo88 wrote: »
    But you see wives belittling their husbands publicly all the time:confused:
    Yes esp in my house:(
  • nextloislanenextloislane Posts: 1,325
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    they are referring to the tea-time partridge man over on the showbiz hints thread

    :D

    lol, it involves high heels
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,715
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    Just nipped into that thread ... thanks for the tip-off Lois!

    brain bleach required after reading #9279 :eek::p I'm sure Rich will give us the inside story on his peccadillo one evening, probably as I'm eating my dinner. :D
  • BradshawsbagBradshawsbag Posts: 728
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    bonzo88 wrote: »
    But you see wives belittling their husbands publicly all the time:confused:

    Do you?
    So that makes belittling anyone OK then? :confused:
  • nextloislanenextloislane Posts: 1,325
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    Just nipped into that thread ... thanks for the tip-off Lois!

    brain bleach required after reading #9279 :eek::p I'm sure Rich will give us the inside story on his peccadillo one evening, probably as I'm eating my dinner. :D


    enjoy

    http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=467942&page=372

    it gets worse
  • SloopySloopy Posts: 65,209
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    Good grief. :eek::eek:

    Shame on me for clicking on that link.

    *desperately tries to erase images from brain*

    :cry:
  • nextloislanenextloislane Posts: 1,325
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    :D

    http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/tv/features/article.aspx?cp-documentid=7382879



    sorry i can't resist


    :D:D:D:D



    oh alan, what will we do without you :D
  • Gloria FandangoGloria Fandango Posts: 3,834
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    :D

    http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/tv/features/article.aspx?cp-documentid=7382879
    sorry i can't resist

    :D:D:D:D
    oh alan, what will we do without you :D

    I had to stop at the Phantom - I couldn't take anymore. :eek: :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,218
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    The lady who developed a Jamaican accent after some sort of neurological trauma is on the show.

    She was saying how unhappy she is about it but Richard still couldn't resist doing his Jamaican/Ali G accent. The tw*t just can't help himself. I was just waiting for him to ask if she wanted beer can and eggs.

    Never have liked him, have no idea how he's been on tv for 20 years. No one else I know likes him either. Weird.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,156
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    To JK Rowling: "You are unbelievably wealthy. Beyond the dreams of avarice, really."

    To Rebecca Loos: "Will you end up with a bloke or a woman?"

    To a young kid with leukaemia: "Hello baldy!"

    To Sophie Ellis Bextor: "Where did you get your face?"


    To transvestite artist Grayson Perry: "You're just humming with sexual energy! Is it the fabric? Is it wearing tights?"

    To Jade Goody: "You're quite sharp. It's just that in the pure sense of the word, you're ignorant."

    Interviewing a man with a stutter: After watching a clip of the guy struggling with his stutter: "You looked as if your head was going to come off!"

    To George Martin: "Your short-term memory really is shot! It must drive you nuts!"

    To a girl with an eating disorder: Unfortunately, she can't stop eating junk food: "Don't take this the wrong way love, but when you were younger did you have a brother or sister who used to steal food off you? You know like dogs do? And that's why they wolf their food down….?"

    To Lewis Pugh: "You've previously made waves by breaking long-distance swimming records in the Arctic and Antarctic. Tell me, when you swim in the Antarctic, do your nuts go really, really tiny?"

    To Nancy Sinatra: "Now obviously you loved your father, but do you think you were actually in love with him?"

    To a woman with an obsession: She had had a crush on a celebrity and had even stalked the star in question. It was all handled sensitively and then Richard said - "So, when did you first realise that you were quite clearly mad?"

    Interviewing actress Claire Goose: "Weren't you once a story-telling raccoon in a theme park? What sort of stories did you have to tell as a raccoon? Did you have a special raccoon voice?"

    To a teenage anorexic: "Five Stone? Wow! That's concentration camp thin, that is."

    God, absolute gold :D:D:D Especially the ones in bold.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,796
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    Finky wrote: »
    God, absolute gold :D:D:D Especially the ones in bold.
    You couldn't make it up.:D

    One of my faves, to Status Quo's Francis Rossi "Is it true you've got a hole right through your nose, from all the coke you snorted?"
    Francis nodded.
    "Wow, can you play a tune thru' it? Leave the guitar at home concentrate on that, a whole new career"
    The looks on Rossi, Rick Parfitt and Judies faces were a joy to behold.:D
  • nextloislanenextloislane Posts: 1,325
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    You couldn't make it up.:D

    One of my faves, to Status Quo's Francis Rossi "Is it true you've got a hole right through your nose, from all the coke you snorted?"
    Francis nodded.
    "Wow, can you play a tune thru' it? Leave the guitar at home concentrate on that, a whole new career"
    The looks on Rossi, Rick Parfitt and Judies faces were a joy to behold.:D

    lol, of course dicky had met the quo before:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9sAunVolEs

    :D
  • nextloislanenextloislane Posts: 1,325
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 5,053
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    Omfg @ that advert ! Judy is just grinning inanely and not moving much while Richard hogs the whole ad :D
    There are going to be some stonking Partridge moments in their new show :D

    Lest we forget, here are some of Richard's BEST Partridge moments :-

    "I REALLY love ducks - they've always got a smile on their face."

    "WILL the gentleman with 1 nipple please reveal it?"
    - Richard Madeley (Richard & Judy) Jan 31st 2006

    "That particular octopus committed suicide, didn't he? He stabbed himself with his own beak."

    He confounded Sex Pistol John Lydon with the musing: "If I could throw a fishing rod into the corridors of time and reel you in, you'd throttle you, wouldn't you?" (Eh?)

    (ultra-partridge) Richard Madeley reacting to a trick by mind reader Derren Brown exclaiming: "Can we have a wooden stake, some petroleum and a rope? Because we are burning you at the end of the show!"

    MADDEST moment of the week on Richard & Judy: When one of Westlife revealed he'd had laser surgery and Richard leapt to his feet and tried forcing open his eyes "looking for scars".

    Richard interviewed Bernadette Hughes, who was abandoned by her mother as a child.
    "You were found on the doorstep of a church," Madeley then mused rather romantically. "Were you in a little basket?"
    "No," she pointed out. "I was naked, with the umbilical cord and afterbirth still attached, wrapped in a pile of newspapers and left on the doorstep."
    At the age of 20, Hughes traced her mother.
    "You then got a letter," chipped in Judy, "It said: 'Blood isn't thicker than water. I didn't want you then and I don't want you now. I've got a family of my own and you're not it. Get lost.'"

    Which, if nothing else, cleared that up.

    JOHN Fashanu (on his phobia of snakes): "About once a week I've been waking up in the night and the bed's been absolutely saturated."
    Richard Madeley: "With sweat?"

    JUDY: "Blimey, I nearly sat on my microphone - I dread to think where it would have gone."
    RICHARD: "Oooh I can tell you Judy. There's only one of two options!"

    His announcements included the promise that the next day's show would feature "the man who intends to amputate his own feet, on the internet!" and a warning about a gang of dog-knappers which inspired Judy to mutter, "They better not kidnap Geri Halliwell's dog. He's only a little shih-tzu."

    "We've launched a snoring hotline," Madeley bellowed before having hysterics listening to excerpts of viewers' snoring. "Don't worry," he announced Partridgely, "We've got much funnier ones."

    A young boy, who has what is officially the longest tongue in the country, revealed: "I used to stick it out and pick my nose with it." Madeley paused before conceding, "That is one HECK of a trick."

    A priceless Partridge-esque moment came when Madeley drifted off into an anecdote about the time he dreamt he was in the cupboard under the stairs - a story that he concluded, triumphantly, "And I WAS in the cupboard under the stairs. Right at the back with the wellies!"
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,796
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    ^^^^
    These are great:D

    Will he drive barefoot to Dundee to get over a Toblerone Fixation:D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0
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    JOHN Fashanu (on his phobia of snakes): "About once a week I've been waking up in the night and the bed's been absolutely saturated."
    Richard Madeley: "With sweat?"

    LOL, hilarious.:D Loving this thread!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 5,053
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    Glad you liked em. Personally Im longing for another Millenium Cupboard........... :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,715
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    Madeley article in the Guardian .... http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/oct/04/richard.madeley.memoir

    I couldn't get beyond the opening line
    "He tells Simon Hattenstone about family, shoplifting and going commando."

    :eek::eek:
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,796
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    Madeley article in the Guardian .... http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/oct/04/richard.madeley.memoir

    I couldn't get beyond the opening line



    :eek::eek:
    Does he do all 3 at once:eek:
  • Rob22Rob22 Posts: 11,838
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    Richard Madely always has been a bit of an oddball.

    he comes out with weird comments, and weird stuff.

    very perculiar person.
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