Least favourite heavy metal thing

245

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  • Finny SkeletaFinny Skeleta Posts: 2,638
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    The fanatical obsession with subgenres.

    Go on to any Youtube video of any slightly metally band and the comments (ok, never a source of valuable discourse anyway) will be full of people arguing over which genre bracket to lump them into.

    "That's not REAL post-industrial sludge core, it's more like proto-melodic death trumpet core!"

    "They're not proto-melodic death trumpet core, bands like Umbiricorn, SplatMurder or the early Cancertron stuff is real proto-melodic death trumpet core. This is more like ultra-grind cyber squonkcore."

    "There's squonkcore elements in there but this is more like power speed pumblybumbly core..."

    ...and on, and on, and on, and on.

    Of course, everyone is too polite to point out that they all sound exactly the bloody same.
  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
    Forum Member
    The fanatical obsession with subgenres.

    Go on to any Youtube video of any slightly metally band and the comments (ok, never a source of valuable discourse anyway) will be full of people arguing over which genre bracket to lump them into.

    "That's not REAL post-industrial sludge core, it's more like proto-melodic death trumpet core!"

    "They're not proto-melodic death trumpet core, bands like Umbiricorn, SplatMurder or the early Cancertron stuff is real proto-melodic death trumpet core. This is more like ultra-grind cyber squonkcore."

    "There's squonkcore elements in there but this is more like power speed pumblybumbly core..."

    ...and on, and on, and on, and on.

    Of course, everyone is too polite to point out that they all sound exactly the bloody same.
    I wanna hear pumblybumbly/squonkcore trumpet metal :D
  • Finny SkeletaFinny Skeleta Posts: 2,638
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    Electra wrote: »
    I wanna hear pumblybumbly/squonkcore trumpet metal :D

    You should try Tumescent Pigspawn or some early Maalust Rhhelem stuff (before they went all commercial).
  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    You should try Tumescent Pigspawn or some early Maalust Rhhelem stuff (before they went all commercial).

    LMAO! Off to Youtube now :D
  • RikScotRikScot Posts: 2,095
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    Electra wrote: »
    I wanna hear pumblybumbly/squonkcore trumpet metal :D

    Be careful what you wish for ;)
  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    RikScot wrote: »
    Be careful what you wish for ;)

    Please tell me it doesn't actually exist :eek: :o
  • RikScotRikScot Posts: 2,095
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    Electra wrote: »
    Please tell me it doesn't actually exist :eek: :o

    Don't think so....but nothing would surprise me these days :rolleyes:
  • Pink KnightPink Knight Posts: 24,773
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    I've just read there is a sub genre called Nintendocore.

    How many more?
  • crazymonkcrazymonk Posts: 1,566
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    People make them up as they go along, I like sub-genres because sometimes they are necessary but I try to not go overboard. :D
  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    crazymonk wrote: »
    People make them up as they go along, I like sub-genres because sometimes they are necessary but I try to not go overboard. :D

    We really only need about seven sub genres in order to give an expectation of what the listener is about to hear. I'd probably go with Black, Death, Speed, Thrash, Power, Folk & Symphonic.

    I guess the 'problem arises when they start mixing up the genres eg putting black vocals over folk music Equilibrium - Blut Im Auge to make, what I gather is called Blackened Folk. (To me that's a great tune almost ruined by the vocal - although I love the music so much I've forced myself to get used to it). Or death vocals over power, to make melodic death. eg Amon Amarth

    I don't agree with sub categorisation by subject matter - Pirate Metal, War Metal, Viking Metal etc. To me that's just getting too silly.

    In the end, it's all just Metal, isn't it?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 201
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    Corpse paint. You don't look dead, love and you certainly don't look hard. You look like a second rate Alice Cooper/KISS impersonator. Now here's some wet wipes and we'll say no more about it..

    see also- Metal poses. You've got your arms folded and your looking down at the camera scowling.. Ooooh scary! :p
  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    Corpse paint. You don't look dead, love and you certainly don't look hard. You look like a second rate Alice Cooper/KISS impersonator. Now here's some wet wipes and we'll say no more about it..

    see also- Metal poses. You've got your arms folded and your looking down at the camera scowling.. Ooooh scary! :p
    https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6464058368/hB45BB3CA/ :D

    The spiky stuff too. You wouldn't want to bump into these guys in the mosh, would you?

    Actually, I just find Black Metal pretty funny all round really. Until they start killing each other & being Nazis & stuff, that is.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 201
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    Electra wrote: »
    https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6464058368/hB45BB3CA/ :D

    The spiky stuff too. You wouldn't want to bump into these guys in the mosh, would you?

    Actually, I just find Black Metal pretty funny all round really. Until they start killing each other & being Nazis & stuff, that is.

    Hahaha! Oh I mean AAAAAAARGH!!
    Dearie me, don't they realise they could have someones eye out with that stuff?! Silly boys. The guy's pose instantly reminded me of this.
    And I completely agree, I find it funny too- I even like some of the music- they're just so po-faced about it. There was a video on YT 'Top 10 Most Ridiculous BM Videos' which was hilarious but it seems to have been removed. :(
  • dodger0703dodger0703 Posts: 1,957
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    The fanatical obsession with subgenres.

    Go on to any Youtube video of any slightly metally band and the comments (ok, never a source of valuable discourse anyway) will be full of people arguing over which genre bracket to lump them into.

    "That's not REAL post-industrial sludge core, it's more like proto-melodic death trumpet core!"

    "They're not proto-melodic death trumpet core, bands like Umbiricorn, SplatMurder or the early Cancertron stuff is real proto-melodic death trumpet core. This is more like ultra-grind cyber squonkcore."

    "There's squonkcore elements in there but this is more like power speed pumblybumbly core..."

    ...and on, and on, and on, and on.

    Of course, everyone is too polite to point out that they all sound exactly the bloody same.

    Was reading this at work drinking a cup of tea and actually spat it out with laughter, that is one of the funniest posts i have ever read.

    Well Done:D
  • RikScotRikScot Posts: 2,095
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    One word...Venom.
  • bryemycazbryemycaz Posts: 11,735
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    Adrenalize was a massive letdown after Pyromania and Hysteria in so many 'rockin' ways.

    The worst thing about Metal for me was Limp Bizkit.

    The death of Steve Clark, while making that album hit them hard and I don't think they really recovered from it.
  • dodger0703dodger0703 Posts: 1,957
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    Electra wrote: »


    Surprised nobody's mentioned Manowar yet. :D

    Imagine how embarrassing handing this over to buy would have been http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Manowar_Anthology.jpg
  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    dodger0703 wrote: »
    Imagine how embarrassing handing this over to buy would have been http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Manowar_Anthology.jpg

    I know! :D That one always crops up on lists of worst album covers. What on earth possessed them? :eek:

    They started off ok but unfortunately, descended into self parody.
  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    RikScot wrote: »
    One word...Venom.

    Anything in particular?
  • eugenespeedeugenespeed Posts: 66,695
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    The worst thing about metal for me is being a metal fan.

    As soon as you say to someone "Oh, I like metal", they have you down as some sort of headbanging, lamb sacrificing, Satanist.

    It's not fair, I've not massacred a lamb for three years now and I only attend The Church of Levey once every other month :p
  • dodger0703dodger0703 Posts: 1,957
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    Electra wrote: »
    I know! :D That one always crops up on lists of worst album covers. What on earth possessed them? :eek:

    They started off ok but unfortunately, descended into self parody.

    Gotta admit I used to love this [URL="[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLgporKLnpA]Manowar – Blow Your Speakers[/url]"][/url]Manowar – Blow Your Speakers :o:o:o
  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    Hahaha! Oh I mean AAAAAAARGH!!
    Dearie me, don't they realise they could have someones eye out with that stuff?! Silly boys. The guy's pose instantly reminded me of this.
    And I completely agree, I find it funny too- I even like some of the music- they're just so po-faced about it. There was a video on YT 'Top 10 Most Ridiculous BM Videos' which was hilarious but it seems to have been removed. :(

    Will this do instead? I'm crying here :D

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT7qfdgdgq4
  • dodger0703dodger0703 Posts: 1,957
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    Electra wrote: »
    Will this do instead? I'm crying here :D

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT7qfdgdgq4

    I honestly thought those blokes had done that for a laugh, then i saw the video is actually from a different song, so searched for it, wish i hadn't the benny hill was was much better
  • gold2040gold2040 Posts: 3,049
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    Electra wrote: »
    We really only need about seven sub genres in order to give an expectation of what the listener is about to hear. I'd probably go with Black, Death, Speed, Thrash, Power, Folk & Symphonic
    Not that i'm a fan but Grindcore I think is substantiated enough to warrant a legitimate genre
  • ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    gold2040 wrote: »
    Not that i'm a fan but Grindcore I think is substantiated enough to warrant a legitimate genre

    Tbh, I forgot about it :o
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