People who suddenly turn against you for no obvious reason

bluebladeblueblade Posts: 88,859
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Have you ever come across this from friends, family or colleagues ? Someone you've formerly been on good terms with, suddenly and inexplicably turns against you and becomes either totally indifferent to you, or worse, an outright enemy ~ and you have absolutely no idea why. You search your mind to think if there's anything you've done or said which might have caused this problem, but you come up with nothing.

It seems next to impossible to actually ascertain a reason from the person themselves.

Alternatively, have you yourself ever turned against anyone for reasons which would have been unclear to the person concerned ? If so, why, and did you give the individual a reason.
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Comments

  • mathertronmathertron Posts: 30,083
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    Maybe they were muslim and resented being considered a terrorist worshipper :p:D
  • 44444444 Posts: 1,104
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    There is always a reason.
  • mathertronmathertron Posts: 30,083
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    4444 wrote: »
    There is always a reason.

    Also it's worth considering not everyone is blessed with the same tranquility of mind as yourself, and they might just be in a massive shitty due to some inner turmoil and be accidently misdirecting said angst onto you. In which case they may well feel a bit shit about it later.
  • alfiewozerealfiewozere Posts: 29,508
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    I've gone off people suddenly when they've expressed a racist or homophobic view and expected me to agree with them. But I don't tend to socialise with racists and homophobes, and that's only happened a couple of times in an office environment. And yes, I did tell them why I didn't want to be associated with them.
  • Alt-F4Alt-F4 Posts: 10,960
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    This happened to my flatmate after I slept with his ex-wife. He moved out 2 days later, never saw him again.

    Might have been the noise, I couldn't keep her mouth shut.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 445
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    :confused: this happened to me, I was getting along really well with this girl, she seemed interested in me, she was single, so I thought... why not? and asked her out. now she says she hates me and is always bitching about me to her friends.
  • LittleMinx25LittleMinx25 Posts: 3,246
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    ive got this problem at my place of work ....

    my colleague acts like a right bitch to me & is constantly slagging me off!!!

    ive made the assumption she doesnt like me because i only started there a little while ago & am already doing some of her jobs because i do them quicker & more efficently than her even though she has been there for years !!!
  • bluebladeblueblade Posts: 88,859
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    4444 wrote: »
    There is always a reason.

    There is, but it's knowing what it is, and whether it would make any logical sense if spoken or written down.
  • MesostimMesostim Posts: 52,864
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    Maybe because of having barbeque on a hot summers day... that pisses folk off legitmately I've heard.
  • TheDonkTheDonk Posts: 1,318
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    blueblade wrote: »
    There is, but it's knowing what it is, .

    Ask them what their problem is, then you'll know.
  • spotyspoty Posts: 11,195
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    Manic depressive?
  • cosmocosmo Posts: 26,840
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    Resentment and envy are one reason.

    Perhaps you are doing too well blueblade.
  • winenroseswinenroses Posts: 6,470
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    I have a neighbout who is always jumping on me when i go in the garden or when I go out or come in from anywhere. I realise it is loneliness and she also collars others, but I am the nearest in line. She watches our and others every move from her porch.

    It wouldn't be so bad if it we could have a decent conversation but it is all about her. She doesn't really want to know about anything else unless it's gossip and hearsay.

    When you get a great deal of this it is very tiresome even when you don't want to be uncharitable and I recently muttered, hopefully in her hearing, along the lines of "Oh for goodness sake, get a hobby instead of standing around nattering all day."

    I doubt she understands though after all this time and that's an example of someone (me) seeming friendly and then not.

    PS I've just realised that that is her hobby!:D
  • *weeschmoo**weeschmoo* Posts: 9,713
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    Maybe they have turned against you because they are in cahoots with somone you had a disagreement with. One whole side of our family has done that to us for this reason. word spreads.

    If it's impossible to ascertain why then there isn't much you can do. It's horrible though isn't it?:(
  • mklassmklass Posts: 3,412
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    ive got this problem at my place of work ....

    my colleague acts like a right bitch to me & is constantly slagging me off!!!

    ive made the assumption she doesnt like me because i only started there a little while ago & am already doing some of her jobs because i do them quicker & more efficently than her even though she has been there for years !!!

    Well its not surprising that she is like that then eh!.... no-one likes a new person coming in and looking like they are 'taking over'..... i would slow down a bit if i were you and then she might be a bit friendlier......;)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,285
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    blueblade wrote: »
    There is, but it's knowing what it is, and whether it would make any logical sense if spoken or written down.

    In my experience it's happened to me ( I think ) because someone has said something about me which is either untrue or exaggerated. In the other way, I have changed my opinion of someone because of something I've found out about them. Problem is you don't always know who's being honest, but I try and work that out myself.
  • LittleMinx25LittleMinx25 Posts: 3,246
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    mklass wrote: »
    Well its not surprising that she is like that then eh!.... no-one likes a new person coming in and looking like they are 'taking over'..... i would slow down a bit if i were you and then she might be a bit friendlier......;)

    maybe she needs to cut down on the bitching & up her game :p:D
  • bluebladeblueblade Posts: 88,859
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    Mesostim wrote: »
    Maybe because of having barbeque on a hot summers day... that pisses folk off legitmately I've heard.

    What are you on about ? It's not a neighbour, and I haven't had a BBQ this year.

    I wish it was a neighbour. You don't have to have anything to do with them.
    TheDonk wrote: »
    Ask them what their problem is, then you'll know.

    Easier said than done when someone is pretty much blanking you.
    In my experience it's happened to me ( I think ) because someone has said something about me which is either untrue or exaggerated. In the other way, I have changed my opinion of someone because of something I've found out about them. Problem is you don't always know who's being honest, but I try and work that out myself.

    That might be close to the truth. Someone saying something about you behind your back, which is a lie.
  • kendogukkendoguk Posts: 13,800
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    Nope everyone likes the Kenmiester :D

    yea of course its happend probably to everyone at some point, if they dont explain why i just dont bother with them unless they want to explain why.
  • mathertronmathertron Posts: 30,083
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    You say that like it's a good thing :(
  • chriswyattchriswyatt Posts: 3,808
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    This happened to me at school. Some kid I was friends with before the summer holidays and he was pretty much my best mate turned against me on the first day back to school. He'd made friends with a bunch of ***** (there was enough of them at my school) and he was bullying me to impress them. He came over to me later on on his own to apologise but I didn't accept it and I don't think I really talked to him again after that.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 83
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    Yes, this has happened to me. It gets to a point where it seems there really isn't a reasonable explaination, so you just have to decide it's their loss and keep your real friends closer! ;)
  • ScottishWoodyScottishWoody Posts: 23,220
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    My best friend throughout Primary School. When we got to High School we ended up in different classes, obviously making new friends in the process. He just seemed to not want to be my friend any more, and even started bullying me for a while!

    I still have a chat to him when I see him out, and he came to my 21st, but I don't go out with him any more.
  • cosmocosmo Posts: 26,840
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    Lots of posts removed.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 106
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    Done this to so called friends who turn out to be... well not very good friends, its also happened to me, others suddenly turning there back on me that is. But they had every reason to do it cause I can be a right royal pain in the rear end!
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