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Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 10)


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Old 31-05-2012, 08:31
AwesomeGeorge
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Loopy could certainly find work as the Chawnz voice-over for the visually impaired - although the visually impaired might not appreciate the magnitude of Philth's nasal hair and open pores.

I like the comparison of the the Chawners to Lost - the more you find out in the future, the more you notice in the past. I think Bio should repeat BFC/CLC indefinitely on an endless loop so everyone on the planet can appreciate the Chawners and what a gift they are to unintentional comedy.
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Old 31-05-2012, 11:33
tally
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Part 10! How Chawsome. And to think back to how excited we all were when we got Part 2. We all thought the Mods had locked the thread.

A cyber glass of Sambucca to all ( only ever had a sip of the real stuff and I was nearly sick).

Loopy, you've provided hours of dowright chortles over the reruns, I just want to say "Thanks" and to add to everyone elses' views that you have a real gift. I loved this gem

Learn maths the Audrey Chawner way. If you have been married for 25 years, and you're 60 now, then how old were you when you got married?
Answer: twenty.
Now we've got two Audrey entries into "The Wisdom of Audrey Chawner".

I thought acid reflux was a problem with babies? I know Emma is still a baby, but that's taking it to extremes!
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Old 31-05-2012, 12:02
Simi89
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I assume Emma has GORD, gastro-oesophageal reflux disease which is a type of acid reflux which can interestingly cause oesophagitis which is what Phizzle says Emma now has. GORD is treated by changing diet, quitting smoking and medication.
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Old 31-05-2012, 12:20
Mehitabel
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I assume Emma has GORD, gastro-oesophageal reflux disease which is a type of acid reflux which can interestingly cause oesophagitis which is what Phizzle says Emma now has. GORD is treated by changing diet, quitting smoking and medication.
Not to mention losing weight and not eating fatty or spicy foods, no caffeine and no alcohol.

Was that a pig I just saw fly overhead? Nope. Didn't think so.
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Old 31-05-2012, 12:21
greengran
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I assume Emma has GORD, gastro-oesophageal reflux disease which is a type of acid reflux which can interestingly cause oesophagitis which is what Phizzle says Emma now has. GORD is treated by changing diet, quitting smoking and medication.
That is the page he's posted from a medical journal. He didn't say anything about Emma being put on a strict diet though. She wouldn't follow it anyway.
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Old 31-05-2012, 12:27
tally
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That is the page he's posted from a medical journal. He didn't say anything about Emma being put on a strict diet though. She wouldn't follow it anyway.
Nor would she give up the smoking. For a young person she seems to be really addicted. I've never understood why asthmatics smoke. They used to put the patients with terminal lung cancer in the same ward as us asthmatics when I was younger. It meant I never ever thought about smoking. It's a terrible way to die, slow suffocation.

Not that Emma has the ability to think ahead. Her brain only computes the here and now and how SHE's thinking and feeling.
Instant is how she thinks, instant stardom and instant gratification.


Sorry, I'm in a bad mood. Andy is injured and insisting on playing on possibly risking his Wimbledon and Olympic chances. I get way too involved in tennis. It was always my passion.
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Old 31-05-2012, 12:55
tenorlady
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Emma has the health issues of a woman in her 40's But of course it isn't her fault.
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Old 31-05-2012, 13:11
Mehitabel
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Emma has the health issues of a woman in her 40's But of course it isn't her fault.
Didn't one of the doctors on the show say she had the lung capacity of an 80yr old? And what did Emma do next? Why, she lit up another cigarette, of course. That was after she laughed it off.
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Old 31-05-2012, 13:56
orangesmartie
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wow part 10! Chawsome!

Hello CofCers. I found you all.

I still haven't seen series 1 and I'm away when its being repeated from the 13th so i can;t even set the EPG for it hopefully it will be repeated again.
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Old 31-05-2012, 15:26
wannabegothchav
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Wooo Part 10!!!! Who would have thought it?! Not Phil or Emma that's for sure, what with the lack of pictures and everything.

This is more their kind of thing (thanks Kirvaat)

http://****yeahaudreychawner.tumblr.com/
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Old 31-05-2012, 16:52
kiviraat
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Wooo Part 10!!!! Who would have thought it?! Not Phil or Emma that's for sure, what with the lack of pictures and everything.

This is more their kind of thing (thanks Kirvaat)

http://****yeahaudreychawner.tumblr.com/
I liked her answer to my question regarding what's on the telly
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Old 31-05-2012, 17:17
Mehitabel
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I liked her answer to my question regarding what's on the telly
link doesn't open for me
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Old 31-05-2012, 17:27
kiviraat
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link doesn't open for me
The naughty 'F' word should go where **** is Then the link should work. Not much there, but I wonder who it is
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Old 31-05-2012, 17:40
Mehitabel
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The naughty 'F' word should go where **** is Then the link should work. Not much there, but I wonder who it is
ah yes!! hmmm.
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Old 31-05-2012, 19:02
Loopzilla
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Wooo Part 10!!!! Who would have thought it?! Not Phil or Emma that's for sure, what with the lack of pictures and everything.

This is more their kind of thing (thanks Kirvaat)

http://****yeahaudreychawner.tumblr.com/
I notice there's a gap in the internet market for a "****yeahphilchawner" page. It needs someone with a strong stomach.

In answer to the kind comments that I should be a descriptor person for blind telly, that's not a good plan, I'm too mischievous. I told an old blind lady on a night out that the man singing in front of her was a stripper. She nearly croaked when he gave her the microphone.

I wonder how our patient is today? I hope she's laid off the tabs. Smoking after having a camera scraped down your throat can't be good.
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Old 31-05-2012, 19:14
AwesomeGeorge
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wow part 10! Chawsome!

Hello CofCers. I found you all.

I still haven't seen series 1 and I'm away when its being repeated from the 13th so i can;t even set the EPG for it hopefully it will be repeated again.
Have a read through of Loopzilla's posts, those with spoiler tags contain the most hilarious reviews of each and every episode. You really feel as if you are watching them!!
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Old 31-05-2012, 19:21
AwesomeGeorge
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The naughty 'F' word should go where **** is Then the link should work. Not much there, but I wonder who it is
Someone with the same spelling ability as our Chawnz. So come on who's setting up a similar page for Phil? We can celebrate his Helicopter Pylons and Emma's Aspic Reflex.
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Old 31-05-2012, 21:30
MrIncredible
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Someone with the same spelling ability as our Chawnz. So come on who's setting up a similar page for Phil? We can celebrate his Helicopter Pylons and Emma's Aspic Reflex.
Im not doing it. I cant bear to look at pictures of that oaf. Especially not the one of him groping Emma's tits.
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Old 31-05-2012, 21:49
lozenger
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Im not doing it. I cant bear to look at pictures of that oaf. Especially not the one of him groping Emma's tits.
You're just in denial Mr I - we all know your true feelings for Phil
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Old 31-05-2012, 21:52
MrIncredible
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You're just in denial Mr I - we all know your true feelings for Phil
I still dont know where this rumour came from

I'd rather have an orgy with Aud, Emma and Sam while Director Dan filmed it than go anywhere near Phizzle.
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Old 31-05-2012, 21:57
lozenger
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I still dont know where this rumour came from

I'd rather have an orgy with Aud, Emma and Sam while Director Dan filmed it than go anywhere near Phizzle.
Oooh - Phil wouldn't let anyone near his daughters... He probably wouldn't mind about Aud tho
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Old 31-05-2012, 21:59
MrIncredible
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Oooh - Phil wouldn't let anyone near his daughters... He probably wouldn't mind about Aud tho
Poor Aud.

I bet she smells like a sardine thats been left in the sun.
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Old 31-05-2012, 22:22
greengran
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Poor Aud.

I bet she smells like a sardine thats been left in the sun.
You have such a lovely turn of phrase.

I would have said smoked mackerel.
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:17
AwesomeGeorge
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Poor Aud.

I bet she smells like a sardine thats been left in the sun.
You have such a lovely turn of phrase.

I would have said smoked mackerel.


Now that's not nice, poor Aud can't help her poor personal hygiene, it's not her fault.

Any news from Chawnerville about what they are up to this Jubilee weekend? And are any of them carrying the Olympic torch as it wends it's way round the UK? After all, they are Britain's second Royal family. (Phil actually said to me on facebook that this is how the people of Great Britain regard the Chawners, is this true?)
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Old 01-06-2012, 08:19
hammerfan
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Well, some of them might have spent a while on the throne - probably the only similarity!
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