[Taglet]

Originally Posted by DoctorQui

No it absolutely is not fabricated. I have created one thread in the past about social services where I strongly disagreed with their motives. Thats loathing?!?!? Social services hadn't even crossed my mind and certainly are not involved here!

Please post links showing everyone all my threads of hatred against social services. You can't because they don't exist!

For the record, I have respect for social services, always have BUT they don't always do things right and CAN cause unecessary suffering due to the suspicions of an individual.

Yet you still put your grievance with social services above the needs of the child. I for one really hope you have fabricated the entire thing to have a pop otherwise a child who heeds help wont get it.

I'm not going to post links btw. The last thread followed exactly the same pattern...prove this, prove that.... this isnt about you and me any more than the last thread was. A child needs help.

[DoctorQui]

Originally Posted by alsmama

As a teacher with over 20 years experience and having attended lots of child protection training I would say first of all that this child has clearly been exposed to more than most ten year olds and as others have said her behaviour can be symptomatic of abuse.

In your shoes I would most definitely contact the school. I expect they are already concerned and may be gathering evidence. They have q duty both to the child in question and to the children she may be sharing her knowledge with.

I would go into school and ask to make an appointment to see the designated child protection person who will not only he trained in what to do but will also know if other concerns have been logged about this child by her teacher or anyone else. Tell this designated person that you want to log a nagging doubt, tell them all the info and then leave it with them.

Thank you, that is sound advice and I will be acting on it. On that note, I think this thread is over. Thanks for everyone for their contribution and it is a shame is decended into a personal attack. I suppose thats the DS advice forum for you. Christ, never again!

[DoctorQui]

Originally Posted by Taglet

Yet you still put your grievance with social services above the needs of the child. I for one really hope you have fabricated the entire thing to have a pop otherwise a child who heeds help wont get it.

I'm not going to post links btw. The last thread followed exactly the same pattern...prove this, prove that.... this isnt about you and me any more than the last thread was. A child needs help.

You are so wrong its ridiculous!

Thanks to people like you, I won't be coming back to the Advice Forum.

By all means have the last word if its important to you, I'm done!

[wavy-davy]

Originally Posted by DoctorQui

Thanks to people like you, I won't be coming back to the Advice Forum.

Crap isn't it.

[Taglet]

Originally Posted by DoctorQui

You are so wrong its ridiculous!

Thanks to people like you, I won't be coming back to the Advice Forum.

Fingers crossed you will do that you should have done in the first place instead.

[Batwing]

Originally Posted by Taglet

Yet you still put your grievance with social services above the needs of the child. I for one really hope you have fabricated the entire thing to have a pop otherwise a child who heeds help wont get it.

I'm not going to post linke btw, this isnt about you and me any more than the last thread was. Your last paragraph is quite clear.

I agree with being careful of "social services" as worst case scenarios have shown them to sometimes be damaging to the child and the family involved, contrary to what they always seem to think. Heavy handed and damaging approaches to investigations and enforcing laws is not limited to the police.

[Taglet]

Originally Posted by Batwing

I agree with being careful of "social services" as worst case scenarios have shown them to sometimes be damaging to the child and the family involved, contrary to what they always seem to think. Heavy handed and damaging approaches to investigations and enforcing laws is not limited to the police.

Assuming the OP is to be believed there is a child who needs help....a debate about the rights and wrongs of social services is somewhat pointless. They are the professionals in dealing with children who have or may be sexually abused. What do you advise.....do nothing?

Enforcing laws is the domain of the police and the courts. Social workers dont have that power.

[DoctorQui]

Originally Posted by Taglet

Assuming the OP is to be believed there is a child who needs help....

Yeah, I'm a troll...my posting history clearly shows that!

[Taglet]

Originally Posted by DoctorQui

Yeah, I'm a troll...my posting history clearly shows that!

I thought you had gone.

[Batwing]

Originally Posted by Taglet

Fingers crossed you will do that you should have done in the first place instead.

So you only want people that agree with you to post in this forum?

What's the point of any forum if it doesn't allow and respect different opinions?

Why are you harassing this person because he or she doesn't think the way you do? Who gives you that right?

[DoctorQui]

Originally Posted by Taglet

I thought you had gone.

You must be so proud...you've won the thread, congratulations!

[Batwing]

Originally Posted by DoctorQui

Yeah, I'm a troll...my posting history clearly shows that!

DoctorQui don't let people bully you or chase you away.

[alsmama]

Originally Posted by DoctorQui

Thank you, that is sound advice and I will be acting on it. On that note, I think this thread is over. Thanks for everyone for their contribution and it is a shame is decended into a personal attack. I suppose thats the DS advice forum for you. Christ, never again!

O good. I hope it helps.

[DoctorQui]

Originally Posted by Batwing

DoctorQui don't let people bully you or chase you away.

Post #97 started this but it seems pretty respectful to me!

[Taglet]

Originally Posted by DoctorQui

You must be so proud...you've won the thread, congratulations!

WTF....its an advice thread about a child that may be being sexually abused. Do something....its not about bloody winning.

[DoctorQui]

Originally Posted by Taglet

WTF....its an advice thread about a child that may be being sexually abused. Do something....its not about bloody winning.

Thats not how you behave...you are trying to win the arguement rather than discuss the issue!

Incidentally, my wife discussed this with me less than 24 hrs ago based on information told to her by the step mum and you think that by now I should have got social services involved

[Batwing]

Originally Posted by DoctorQui

Post #97 started this but it seems pretty respectful to me!

The fact that you are concerned about it being respectful says enough.

[Steve™]

Originally Posted by Taglet

Assuming the OP is to be believed there is a child who needs help....a debate about the rights and wrongs of social services is somewhat pointless. They are the professionals in dealing with children who have or may be sexually abused. What do you advise.....do nothing?

Enforcing laws is the domain of the police and the courts. Social workers dont have that power.

Ridiculous OTT response.

Times change.

I would hate for you to have been my parent when I was young!

[Taglet]

Originally Posted by Batwing

So you only want people that agree with you to post in this forum?

What's the point of any forum if it doesn't allow and respect different opinions?

Why are you harassing this person because he or she doesn't think the way you do? Who gives you that right?

The way I think?!?......I think the child needs help, surely noone can debate that particular point!

Report it to a professional 'trained' to deal with it.

[Taglet]

Originally Posted by Steve™

Ridiculous OTT response.

Times change.

I would hate for you to have been my parent when I was young!

You've lost me.

[Abbasolutely 40]

Originally Posted by DoctorQui

I am more than satisfied that there is no abuse going on in the family and as for neglect, the child has been allowed to access to the internet in her room, while not a great parental move, I'm sure that there are more than enough parents who do this and their children don't access porn...is this also neglect?

!

Just for the sake of the child .I am genuinely puzzled at the highlighted part .You say you dont know the father and only your wife knows the stepmother , so how would you possibley know that ?
Abusers as you well know are devious and clever and we may never ever suspect them .
At very very least this child is troubled , it may be purely from being way in too deep in somethign she cant handle
She needs help .In a professional capacity I would seek it where I have been trained to seek it .If you still have mates in the police force they will guide you to the help that child needs .I doubt they will pussyfoot about for long and to straight to who is the professional in this area ,

[Taglet]

Originally Posted by Abbasolutely 40

Just for the sake of the child .I am genuinely puzzled at the highlighted part .You say you dont know the father and only your wife knows the stepmother , so how would you possibley know that ?
Abusers as you well know are devious and clever and we may never ever suspect them .
At very very least this child is troubled , it may be purely from being way in too deep in somethign she cant handle
She needs help .In a professional capacity I would seek it where I have been trained to seek it .If you still have mates in the police force they will guide you to the help that child needs .I doubt they will pussyfoot about for long and to straight to who is the professional in this area ,

Too soon to act apparently but long enough to make a snap decision that the child has not been abused.

Originally Posted by DoctorQui

Incidentally, my wife discussed this with me less than 24 hrs ago based on information told to her by the step mum and you think that by now I should have got social services involved

[Batwing]

Originally Posted by Taglet

The way I think?!?......I think the child needs help, surely noone can debate that particular point!

Report it to a professional 'trained' to deal with it.

A lot of people now resort to Immediately calling the police for something that could be addressed, at least initially, outside of such bureaucratic government agencies that often overstep their authority and end up making things worse.

[stargazer61]

Originally Posted by Taglet

WTF....its an advice thread about a child that may be being sexually abused. Do something....its not about bloody winning.

It is about trying to decide the best course of action without causing further damage to a child and the family. In a situation like this, there is a delicate balance in deciding what to do and whom to inform. Overkill could rip a potentially innocent family apart. The OP is right to consider all opinions about the best way to approach the matter.

[glasshalffull]

So this kid has neglectful biological mother, a father away all week and a younger half sibling who may well be getting what she perceives as a greater share of parental attention.

She's allowed seemingly unfettered access to the internet and a mobile phone/TV etc

I would not dismiss abuse...however my inclination would be to consider first the "attention seeking" aspect of this behaviour.

And kids learn very early and quickly what types of behaviour are most likely to wind up their parents...you see nursery age kids going round saying "poo poo" and "wee wee" at inappropriate situations just to get a parental reaction.

I wonder too how much she is aware of the father's reaction and using the mixed messages/reactions of him and step mother to play them off against each other...divide and rule.

As a starting point I would advise these parents to

1) Remove access to phone and internet except under supervision
2) Give more attention to this girl in positive ways
3) Make it very clear to her that the things she has been doing are totally unacceptable for a kid her age and putting her in danger
4) Report to the school the fact this sexting has been going on...without necessarily naming other kids...then leave it to them to decide what to do.