[Alberon]

Originally Posted by tenorlady

Mad Muriel's been reading it, and getting all of a fluster, not long until she encourages her very good friend Audrey to read it instead of watching telly. You never know, a bit of erotic fiction may have the same effect on her as having a skip parked outside her house

What? Running down the street shouting?

There's a new incoherent post from Phil on Facebook. I've done my best to decipher it.

Please can tell the best places to visit to do sign in and meet you all thanks

Mike Nicholas

Theres a number of gaps around Christchurch at the moment...
I'm working on a little project atm and would love to know what youu guys wanna see in Christchurch...

The first bit before the name is clearly a reply to the bit after the name. Phil's imaginary facebook friends are taking this to mean the Chawners are off to New Zealand.

The reality must certainly be that they're not, but maybe Phil's been hoodwinked into thinking there's a real offer there.

[hammerfan]

I've been away for a while, Chawning it up at home for 2 weeks - ah, I love holiday time, anyway, what have I missed? Have the girls got jobs, moved out? Leaving Phil to realise he does love his wife and is ready to take proper care of her and himself?

[orangesmartie]

I recorded Lorraine's next big fat challenge last night and sat down to watch this morning and found I just couldn't. The thought of spending 45 minutes watching them made me feel queasy. I think watching the first series (which I still haven't seen all eps) made me so cross at all their wasted opportunities.

[conny]

Aud will never read 50 shades of grey (There's no pictures), however, she does get to see 150 shades of purple before the monstrosities shirt goes in the wash

[Alberon]

Something is definitely going on. Phil posted this among the replies I quoted above.

Nothing has been conformed yet just seeing where to visit may not till next year

This, plus the comments about him being 'busy' make me think that possibly, just possibly, the Chawners have been talking with a New Zealand TV company about them going over there.

To be fair, the Chawners show was a bit more high-profile over there than it was here, where it was lost in the Sky EPG hinterland (apart from us Cult of Chawner members of course), but there's one thing that, I think, will scupper the whole deal. And that is I can't see how Audrey and Phil could ever get insured to fly that long haul out to NZ. They're a major health risk as it is, let alone stuck on a plane for the best part of a day.

I was about to suggest they were at risk of DVT, but thinking about it Audrey is stuck in a seat watching a TV all day every day as it is.

I suppose we'll just have to see what, if anything, is 'conformed' in the next few weeks.

[tenorlady]

How wealthy a country is New Zealand? Can they afford to subsidise the Chawners?

I will feel really aggrieved if they get yet another freebie holiday. It's not fair

[Simi89]

Well if the TV people from over there are flying them over can they do us all a favour and ensure it is a one way ticket?

[wannabegothchav]

I think those who have Phil on their FB should now start posting questions about a new series whether its in NZ or Chawner Towers.

[jerseyporter]

Originally Posted by tenorlady

How wealthy a country is New Zealand? Can they afford to subsidise the Chawners?

I will feel really aggrieved if they get yet another freebie holiday. It's not fair

BIB - It's not. My best friend emigrated out there nearly three years ago (for hubby's job, not because she wanted to) and she says New Zealand is almost bankrupt in the wake of the earthquakes in the last couple of years (many more than we heard about) and they (the NZ government) simply can't afford to rebuild the infrastructure in Christchurch. They certainly won't be interested in subsidising the Chawners - they wouldn't be allowed to move there permanently because of their health issues (it was certainly an eye-opener as to the many hoops you have to jump through to gain residency when my friend moved there - her husband having a job offer was no guarantee of being allowed to actually go there if they'd have failed the medicals, which they all had to have, even the children).

Anyway, the cost of living in NZ would put the Chawners off anything more than a holiday - and they won't be able to afford to do that unless someone pays for it (I can't afford to go there, anyway, much as I'd like to). The cost of living is horrendous compared to the UK (mind you, it is in Jersey too!) but my friend says most things in NZ (basics) cost double compared to their price in the UK. She comes back here every year with an empty suitcase just to fill up with things from Boots the chemist because of the cost of toiletries alone!

So no, NZ won't want them and if he even got clearance to fly I'd be very surprised - Phil is deluding himself!

[wannabegothchav]

Originally Posted by jerseyporter

BIB - It's not. My best friend emigrated out there nearly three years ago (for hubby's job, not because she wanted to) and she says New Zealand is almost bankrupt in the wake of the earthquakes in the last couple of years (many more than we heard about) and they (the NZ government) simply can't afford to rebuild the infrastructure in Christchurch. They certainly won't be interested in subsidising the Chawners - they wouldn't be allowed to move there permanently because of their health issues (it was certainly an eye-opener as to the many hoops you have to jump through to gain residency when my friend moved there - her husband having a job offer was no guarantee of being allowed to actually go there if they'd have failed the medicals, which they all had to have, even the children).

Anyway, the cost of living in NZ would put the Chawners off anything more than a holiday - and they won't be able to afford to do that unless someone pays for it (I can't afford to go there, anyway, much as I'd like to). The cost of living is horrendous compared to the UK (mind you, it is in Jersey too!) but my friend says most things in NZ (basics) cost double compared to their price in the UK. She comes back here every year with an empty suitcase just to fill up with things from Boots the chemist because of the cost of toiletries alone!

So no, NZ won't want them and if he even got clearance to fly I'd be very surprised - Phil is deluding himself!

Somehow I can't see any of them spending much on toiletries whether its from Asda Accrington or NZ!

[tenorlady]

I hope this freebie trip to New Zealand is a figment of Phil's imagination - but if it's not, I sincerely hope it mucks up their money for good.

[Free as a bird]

Originally Posted by tenorlady

I hope this freebie trip to New Zealand is a figment of Phil's imagination - but if it's not, I sincerely hope it mucks up their money for good.

I'm sure it is, I mean he couldn't even go to France(could he have not taken the Eurostar/ferry?) so I think the chances of him going to NZ are very very slim (pun intended)

[tally]

It's Phiz. Life has now reverted tp pre - - - z factor and he's desperate for something/anything to keep them in the news again.

I'm expecting a close brush with death or some 80 year old thugs bashing the poor Chawners up any day. He's desperate for some relevance and something to moan about on FB.

I've got last night's show recorded but haven't summoned up the enthusiasm to actually watch it yet.

[auntiem]

I think you'll find too that if they went to New Zealand for a TV programme it would affect some, if not all, of their benefits.

For a start Aud would lose the mobility part of her DLA and the car.

[tenorlady]

Originally Posted by auntiem

I think you'll find too that if they went to New Zealand for a TV programme it would affect some, if not all, of their benefits.

For a start Aud would lose the mobility part of her DLA and the car.

Good. That soothes my soul. The Chawners seriously annoy me with their ludicrous sense of entitlement, and their lack of gratitude for the thousands of pounds that have been lavished on them by Bio TV. I hope they go to New Zealand,get an appalling reception and are deported back to the UK with no further benefits, ever.

[jerseyporter]

Originally Posted by wannabegothchav

Somehow I can't see any of them spending much on toiletries whether its from Asda Accrington or NZ!

True, I could have use a better example couldn't I! That's what comes of relating events in Chawner-world to what I consider to be 'normal' in terms of what people usually consider important in terms of personal purchases! Oh well - the 'double everything' applies to the price of nearly every commodity out there. And certainly no ASDA Smart price sausages there either!

[Alberon]

I don't know if there is any truth in the guess I made in my previous post. There's a very good chance that even if Phil is talking to someone claiming to be from NZ telly then it is probably a wind-up.

[tenorlady]

Originally Posted by Alberon

I don't know if there is any truth in the guess I made in my previous post. There's a very good chance that even if Phil is talking to someone claiming to be from NZ telly then it is probably a wind-up.

Twice Green have probably told him they run a TV company - I'm pretty sure the radio interview they did was someone's idea of a joke, there was nothing on the official radio website saying there was a phone-in interview with the Chawners.

I think someone in NZ is having a really amusing time taking the mickey out of Britain's Fattest Family™.

Part of me thinks it's all a bit cruel. Most of me thinks they deserve all the mockery.

[i_am_a_gremlin]

Originally Posted by jerseyporter

BIB - It's not. My best friend emigrated out there nearly three years ago (for hubby's job, not because she wanted to) and she says New Zealand is almost bankrupt in the wake of the earthquakes in the last couple of years (many more than we heard about) and they (the NZ government) simply can't afford to rebuild the infrastructure in Christchurch. They certainly won't be interested in subsidising the Chawners - they wouldn't be allowed to move there permanently because of their health issues (it was certainly an eye-opener as to the many hoops you have to jump through to gain residency when my friend moved there - her husband having a job offer was no guarantee of being allowed to actually go there if they'd have failed the medicals, which they all had to have, even the children).

Anyway, the cost of living in NZ would put the Chawners off anything more than a holiday - and they won't be able to afford to do that unless someone pays for it (I can't afford to go there, anyway, much as I'd like to). The cost of living is horrendous compared to the UK (mind you, it is in Jersey too!) but my friend says most things in NZ (basics) cost double compared to their price in the UK. She comes back here every year with an empty suitcase just to fill up with things from Boots the chemist because of the cost of toiletries alone!

So no, NZ won't want them and if he even got clearance to fly I'd be very surprised - Phil is deluding himself!

they would cause a flippin earthquake!!!

god help those poor Kiwis if the lardases land on them

[tenorlady]

Originally Posted by i_am_a_gremlin

they would cause a flippin earthquake!!!

god help those poor Kiwis if the lardases land on them

The last thing New Zealand needs is another earthquake.

Having perused the Kiwi comments on facebook, I have come to the conclusion 90% of them find the Chawners irritating and annoying, 5% find them utterly baffling and the remaining 5% think they are amazing. That last 5% probably dwell in a secure unit somewhere and only have occasional internet access.

[Simi89]

As soon as they get off the plane there will be an earthquake that is about 8 on the Richter scale.

[Trifle?]

I'd hate to be sat beside them. Or in front of them. Actually, make that anywhere on the plane!

[Simi89]

Can you imagine the fumes when Audrey et al fart? In an enclosed place like a plane you're screwed!

[wannabegothchav]

Aud farting would be like the bowels of satan and turbulence combined. I've never liked flying

[Saltydog1955]

Originally Posted by Simi89

Can you imagine the fumes when Audrey et al fart? In an enclosed place like a plane you're screwed!

Perhaps the flight could be powered solely by Chawnerflatulence? It'd get to NZ in about half an hour!