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Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 10)


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Old 16-09-2012, 22:58
Saltydog1955
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Oooh a long lost Chawner relative perhaps?

The Chawnz don't 'do' family though.

Oldest child Christopher was cast out when he chose his partner and mother of his child over his parents and sisters. Kim, who posts on here, will testify to this.

There is never any mention of grandparents/aunties/uncles/cousins - and they must have SOME relatives!
Phil's mother's dead and Aud was adopted wasn't she? Or was it 'sold' for thirty bob?

No wonder there's no rellies!
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Old 16-09-2012, 23:01
Mehitabel
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There is never any mention of grandparents/aunties/uncles/cousins - and they must have SOME relatives!
Possibly not. Wasn't Aud adopted? She could have been an only child in that family and might be estranged from any cousins. Phil has the brother in New South Wales, just up the road from New Zealand, and that could be it. If there is any family, they probably don't want anything to do with P,A,S and Em for the same reason they don't have any real life friends. Just sayin'.
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Old 17-09-2012, 08:40
tenorlady
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I just find it odd that a family can be so insular - and will remain so, by the looks of it, as Phil will not allow his daughters off the leash long enough to find partners of their own. And they have fallen out with the mother of their only grandchild, it's sad really.
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Old 17-09-2012, 10:47
Saltydog1955
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I just find it odd that a family can be so insular - and will remain so, by the looks of it, as Phil will not allow his daughters off the leash long enough to find partners of their own. And they have fallen out with the mother of their only grandchild, it's sad really.
From an armchair psychology point of view, I'd say both Phil and Aud have serious abandonment issues, perhaps because of bad childhoods and are terrified of Sam n' Emma leaving them. Serious control freakery plays a part too, especially from Phil.
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Old 17-09-2012, 14:58
chili_kitten
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It is almost certain that the girls will never be allowed to have partners – unless maybe when they’re 30 and marry one their ‘school friends’ and Phil can pick them up after they’ve had a drink.

It was amazing how upset Phil got when Sam got herself a boyfriend, shouting and screaming that he ‘never thought she’d do this to us’, huffing off and not coming out of his stupid little room because she’d met him on the internet….particularly as Phil and Audrey met through a personal ad in the paper, which is the equivalent of internet dating now is it not?

Daft as a brush the lot of them. But I still love them. Even though they infuriate me with their constant excuses, crying and ‘not our fault’ mentality.
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Old 18-09-2012, 00:05
Trifle?
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It is almost certain that the girls will never be allowed to have partners – unless maybe when they’re 30 and marry one their ‘school friends’ and Phil can pick them up after they’ve had a drink.

It was amazing how upset Phil got when Sam got herself a boyfriend, shouting and screaming that he ‘never thought she’d do this to us’, huffing off and not coming out of his stupid little room because she’d met him on the internet….particularly as Phil and Audrey met through a personal ad in the paper, which is the equivalent of internet dating now is it not?

Daft as a brush the lot of them. But I still love them. Even though they infuriate me with their constant excuses, crying and ‘not our fault’ mentality.
That's my favourite episode, mostly due to his stomach almost exploding when he's telling her off. Along with, 'the internet is full of 'nutters'', and how he got advice for Sam's situation off 200 nutters from his facebook. I mean friends.

Heartbroken here btw, we've saved the wedding episode on the Skybox to remind us of all things Chawner. I'm moving in a couple of weeks and the Skybox isn't moving with me

I might have to wear a dead crow on my head to remind me while I pack.
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Old 18-09-2012, 07:42
tenorlady
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Aw, the heart-warming wedding, where only half a dozen people showed up, despite the Facebook competition to win an invitation, and Emma's warnings about crowd control barriers and a police presence

It was after the wedding photos were posted that the tide began to turn against them, from New Zealand, who, up until that point, had thought the Chawners had actually succeeded in their Big Fat Challenge. I remember seeing lots of posts excitedly asking them how much weight they had lost, and when were they going to post the 'after' photos.

Then the wedding photos revealed the sad truth. There was no weight loss, but weight gain. And the Chawners weren't Britain's answer to the Osbournes or regarded as the second Royal family. Even Peter Andre didn't RSVP to his twitter wedding invitation
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Old 18-09-2012, 08:59
Alberon
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Phil's been back on Facebook. Firstly he's been asked about their bronchitis and says they're still not well (when are they ever).

And secondly the cheeky sod has posted another link to the Clitheroe Starlight Hike on Friday saying

Not long to go before the hike
Though, to be fair, he doesn't claim to be actually taking part.

As totally expected, he continues to totally ignore any questions about the non-existent Japanese reality show.
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Old 18-09-2012, 09:08
Saltydog1955
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Phil's been back on Facebook. Firstly he's been asked about their bronchitis and says they're still not well (when are they ever).

And secondly the cheeky sod has posted another link to the Clitheroe Starlight Hike on Friday saying



Though, to be fair, he doesn't claim to be actually taking part.

As totally expected, he continues to totally ignore any questions about the non-existent Japanese reality show.
He is such an eejit.

Doesn't he realise people can look up their Virgin Giving pages and see the grand sum of one English pound that he's been sponsored for, or the pile of fresh air that is Sam's sponsorship money?

Let us know if he posts any photos after next Saturday night's 'hike'!
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Old 18-09-2012, 12:32
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Aw, the heart-warming wedding, where only half a dozen people showed up, despite the Facebook competition to win an invitation, and Emma's warnings about crowd control barriers and a police presence

It was after the wedding photos were posted that the tide began to turn against them, from New Zealand, who, up until that point, had thought the Chawners had actually succeeded in their Big Fat Challenge. I remember seeing lots of posts excitedly asking them how much weight they had lost, and when were they going to post the 'after' photos.

Then the wedding photos revealed the sad truth. There was no weight loss, but weight gain. And the Chawners weren't Britain's answer to the Osbournes or regarded as the second Royal family. Even Peter Andre didn't RSVP to his twitter wedding invitation
Actually, I am very surprised close personal friend Peter Andre didn't show up - that kind of event is right up his street. He could have filmed it for his reality show - that would have been a blast - 2 reality shows filming each other!!

And the kids (whom he loves by the way) would have been able to play with Kim's daughter. I wonder if they invited Same Deference to perform - that could have been a real spectacle - with Emma on guest vocals as she has a lot in common with them (inappropriate close-family relationships..)
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Old 18-09-2012, 12:59
tenorlady
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Eurgh. I'd forgotten that the Chawners were close personal friends of creepy brother and sister singing duo Same Deference, having attended their CD signing at the Trafford Centre.

I googled Same Deference to see what they were up to these days, and they are doing a tour of Haven Holiday campsites. I reckon Sister Act could do a novelty singing act for the holiday camp market, they would make more money than they do cutting people's hair.

http://www.samedifferenceworld.com/events.php
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Old 18-09-2012, 13:04
lozenger
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Eurgh. I'd forgotten that the Chawners were close personal friends of creepy brother and sister singing duo Same Deference, having attended their CD signing at the Trafford Centre.

I googled Same Deference to see what they were up to these days, and they are doing a tour of Haven Holiday campsites. I reckon Sister Act could do a novelty singing act for the holiday camp market, they would make more money than they do cutting people's hair.

http://www.samedifferenceworld.com/events.php
Absolutely!! and they would fit right in at Haven, they would positively look svelte.

(no offence to anyone who holidays there - I have on several occasions - well the one in Wales anyway) But blimey, there are some chubby families there!
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Old 18-09-2012, 13:18
tenorlady
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Absolutely!! and they would fit right in at Haven, they would positively look svelte.

(no offence to anyone who holidays there - I have on several occasions - well the one in Wales anyway) But blimey, there are some chubby families there!
I went to Haven in Mablethorpe, Gareth Gates was on the bill. And some character called Tony the Tiger.
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Old 18-09-2012, 15:57
kiviraat
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I went to Haven in Mablethorpe, Gareth Gates was on the bill. And some character called Tony the Tiger.
I went there on a £9.50 Sun Holiday when I was about 8. I don't actually know why my step family took me, plus I hated every minute of it I'll never forget seeing a mad woman (probably late teens/early 20s) running about her caravan opposite ours and she was stark naked I thought it was hilarious!

I'm glad it wasn't one of the Chawners I seen, drunk on sambucca though!
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Old 18-09-2012, 16:00
Saltydog1955
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Absolutely!! and they would fit right in at Haven, they would positively look svelte.

(no offence to anyone who holidays there - I have on several occasions - well the one in Wales anyway) But blimey, there are some chubby families there!
That wasn't the 'Hard-On, Hot Tub' site was it Lozenger?
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Old 18-09-2012, 17:12
tenorlady
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That wasn't the 'Hard-On, Hot Tub' site was it Lozenger?
Lozenger's dirty secret is out

Aren't Haven Holidays for families? Would they have anything as potentially salacious as a hot tub? When I was there it was all ball games and trampolining competitions with a bit of karaoke led by Rory the Tiger (not Tony)

Rory the Tiger was allegedly Duncan from Blue but I'm not sure if that's an urban myth. It definitely wan't a Chawner in the tiger suit though, he/she was skinny, the outfit was baggy.
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Old 18-09-2012, 17:30
kiviraat
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Lozenger's dirty secret is out

Aren't Haven Holidays for families? Would they have anything as potentially salacious as a hot tub? When I was there it was all ball games and trampolining competitions with a bit of karaoke led by Rory the Tiger (not Tony)

Rory the Tiger was allegedly Duncan from Blue but I'm not sure if that's an urban myth. It definitely wan't a Chawner in the tiger suit though, he/she was skinny, the outfit was baggy.
I was almost forced to be Rory the Tiger when I worked there (cos the lassie who usually did it was too hungover to turn up). No chance "We are Tiger Club Kids! And we're gonna play all daaaaaaaay!" It still gets me in my nightmares

I'm sure Phil would be an amazing ambassador by taking up a position as Rory! Either that or he could go to Eurodisney and pretend to be Shrek (oh wait, he's not allowed to go to France)
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Old 18-09-2012, 18:50
tenorlady
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I was almost forced to be Rory the Tiger when I worked there (cos the lassie who usually did it was too hungover to turn up). No chance "We are Tiger Club Kids! And we're gonna play all daaaaaaaay!" It still gets me in my nightmares

I'm sure Phil would be an amazing ambassador by taking up a position as Rory! Either that or he could go to Eurodisney and pretend to be Shrek (oh wait, he's not allowed to go to France)
You're suggesting Phil gets a JOB? Don't be daft, he has the diabetic, helicopter pylons, aspic reflex and a touch of the gallblabbers, he can't possibly work. Even though he would only need a touch of make-up to be Shrek.

I'm so jealous you worked at Haven, were you one of the entertainment team? What colour jacket did you wear?
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Old 18-09-2012, 19:36
kiviraat
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You're suggesting Phil gets a JOB? Don't be daft, he has the diabetic, helicopter pylons, aspic reflex and a touch of the gallblabbers, he can't possibly work. Even though he would only need a touch of make-up to be Shrek.

I'm so jealous you worked at Haven, were you one of the entertainment team? What colour jacket did you wear?
Nah I was a kitchen monkey but did pretty much anything (was young and needed money), but it was joined right on to the entertainment area. Wednesday mornings was line dancing for old folk. Quite funny to watch. It was a lovely polo shirt that was yellow, red, blue AND green Hideous!

Someone I follow tweeted THIS picture earlier and I automatically pictured the Chawner's cupboards coming down with the stuff
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Old 18-09-2012, 19:54
tenorlady
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Nah I was a kitchen monkey but did pretty much anything (was young and needed money), but it was joined right on to the entertainment area. Wednesday mornings was line dancing for old folk. Quite funny to watch. It was a lovely polo shirt that was yellow, red, blue AND green Hideous!

Someone I follow tweeted THIS picture earlier and I automatically pictured the Chawner's cupboards coming down with the stuff
If those fingernails weren't so pristine I would suspect Phil Chawner was holding the can up to the camera. After all there's nothing else to have is there, apart from sausages. Oh and a weightwatchers cottage pie and a piece of fruit.
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Old 18-09-2012, 22:23
kiviraat
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If those fingernails weren't so pristine I would suspect Phil Chawner was holding the can up to the camera. After all there's nothing else to have is there, apart from sausages. Oh and a weightwatchers cottage pie and a piece of fruit.
It must be really hard not being able to lose weight on a low calorie diet. I mean, that is essentially rabbit food that they are living on and the poor souls are just getting bigger and bigger. Perhaps they've been eating the chewing gum Willie Wonka invented that is a 3 course meal. They are just needing to be taken to the Juicing Room to be squeezed
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Old 18-09-2012, 22:29
Saltydog1955
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They are just needing to be taken to the Juicing Room to be squeezed
Well, if Phil will insist on wearing that purple shirt, no wonder he gets taken for a blueberry...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YI5NA74cxc
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Old 18-09-2012, 22:35
kiviraat
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Well, if Phil will insist on wearing that purple shirt, no wonder he gets taken for a blueberry...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YI5NA74cxc
Excellent point Salty! I'd hate to be one of those poor Oompah Loompahs!
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Old 18-09-2012, 22:41
Saltydog1955
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Excellent point Salty! I'd hate to be one of those poor Oompah Loompahs!
I think all the Chawns would be candidates for those Kivi!

I'd pay to see them all dressed up and painted orange!
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Old 18-09-2012, 23:00
kiviraat
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I think all the Chawns would be candidates for those Kivi!

I'd pay to see them all dressed up and painted orange!
I did a photoshop of Audrey as a pumpkin last Hallowe'en It's kicking about on an old thread somewhere
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