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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)


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Old 13-01-2013, 18:04
Becky Sharpe
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Stella McCartney:
Now, don’t feel this critique is sour grapes because she relegated me to a balcony for her gala show prior to last summer’s Olympics, with six almonds to chew on while the rest of the world’s fashion press joined her and the likes of Rihanna for a slap-up dinner and dancing.
Claire Balding:
Anyhow, I set off to interview La Balding, having read her wretched tome. However, on the way to meet her I was informed that she had banned me from doing the interview because I had once criticised her in print over an item she presented on The One Show about horses that served in the First World War.
NB: not a peep about fellow racing reporter John McCririck, but then he would probably retaliate in gratifyingly rude fashion
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Old 13-01-2013, 18:09
sunstone
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Today's spite rant against Claire Balding is quite astonishing ,even by LJ standards.
The thought of Claire ( who always looks immaculate IMO ) dribbling down an old ill fitting cardie on live TV ....well really

Maybe LJ in her Prada this and that should take a good look at Claire Balding.
For a start she has clean healthy hair and doesn't look as if she actually IS BALDING.
I know nothing about horses or the care of them,but it does not seem that LJ's rescued horses are getting such good care when they are constantly ill/infected?
As CB grew up, obviously she will have outgrown ponies.With a trainer for a father I am pretty sure he would know what he was doing,

I think this may be another LJ cry for attention,( like Brick).By attacking somebody who is hugely popular she will get noticed again.
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Old 13-01-2013, 18:16
sunstone
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In which I was Brought Up in Poverty With Imaginary Ponies ,While Lesbian Witches With No Fashion Sense Had It All.
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Old 13-01-2013, 19:02
astor
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Just dipped back into the Liz Jones playground forum.

Ouch - she is never going to be best friends with Clare Balding, lovely as she is . As a horse lover she finds horse racing disgusting.So do I .

Liz rescues old racehorses - fair play Liz - it's a sad old world where these lovely horses are shot and destroyed at about 5 years old
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Old 13-01-2013, 21:43
GloriaMundi
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In which I was Brought Up in Poverty With Imaginary Ponies ,While Lesbian Witches With No Fashion Sense Had It All.
Brilliant!
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Old 13-01-2013, 22:07
Bellagio
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Just dipped back into the Liz Jones playground forum.

Ouch - she is never going to be best friends with Clare Balding, lovely as she is . As a horse lover she finds horse racing disgusting.So do I .

Liz rescues old racehorses - fair play Liz - it's a sad old world where these lovely horses are shot and destroyed at about 5 years old
She rescues old racehorses, which then proceed to die, or become extremely unwell, is what I think you intended to say. She keeps cats alive in considerable pain and distress because she can't bear to be without them. She collects dogs but is incapable of house-training them, or stopping them killing sheep. Oh yes, she loves animals.
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Old 13-01-2013, 22:28
cathrin
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Oh Liz. You ask the question "What's wrong with me" but when will you learn? Insulting boyfriends, (whether real or imaginary), is not the way to go if you want to be perceived as a half-decent human being. Phrases like "You have your fat to keep you warm" don't make you come across like a witty, feisty, fun character; they make you sound rude, snide and ill-mannered. A bit like when you trotted out the exact same insult about Kirstie Allsopp (for the second time) just last week. Even your recycled insults are recycled!

Some very astute observations on the comments page today (as always). One person remarked that Liz now seems to be basing the RS on her ex-husband (portraying him as fat, unreliable, unwilling to have sex). Another said that the previous week's Diary had been retrospectively amended after someone pointed out a contradiction!

.....Oh, and I know I'm always saying this, but the dialogue in her diary just doesn't sound like real people talking! Real people don't say "You are Scottish", "We will be almost like normal people," "She has found the open window downstairs." They say "You're, "We'll", "She's". It's a trivial thing to notice but it really jars, and it honestly makes one wonder whether Liz has ever actually taken part in a normal everyday conversation with a real person (apart from snapping at receptionists and insulting shop assistants, of course.)

As for filling the column with inane ramblings about her shopping list and the contents of her cupboard and the things she doesn't like eating at Christmas....I wonder if the DM feel this is good value for money? How much did she get paid for that crashingly dull and pointless paragraph about looking in the cupboard for Marmite and not having tea bags in the house?

The Clare Balding piece is just plain horrible. No less than FOUR snide digs about her dress sense (way to alienate all your High Street shopping readers Liz, not to mention the ultra-popular CB's legions of fans.) And as for the "cheap shoes" jibe....when do we ever even see a TV presenter's shoes, let alone get a close enough look to ascertain whether they're cheap or not?
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Old 13-01-2013, 23:27
Saltydog1955
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Liz rescues old racehorses - fair play Liz - it's a sad old world where these lovely horses are shot and destroyed at about 5 years old
Liz 'rescued' someone's ex-racehorse and it died in her care. She then promptly began to run down the horse's owner in print, claiming and saying all kinds of vile things about her. AFAIK this lady has an ongoing complaint with the PCC about what Liz wrote about her.

Liz claims to love animals and doesn't, and she hates people.
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Old 13-01-2013, 23:50
astor
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She rescues old racehorses, which then proceed to die, or become extremely unwell, is what I think you intended to say. She keeps cats alive in considerable pain and distress because she can't bear to be without them. She collects dogs but is incapable of house-training them, or stopping them killing sheep. Oh yes, she loves animals.
Nope, didn't intend to say any of that but thanks for the request for clarification.
You're obviously far more interested in the ins and outs of Ms Jones life than I am so I'm sure you will be much more clued up on the details of how she runs her life and deals with her numerous pets.
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Old 13-01-2013, 23:51
sunstone
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Liz 'rescued' someone's ex-racehorse and it died in her care. She then promptly began to run down the horse's owner in print, claiming and saying all kinds of vile things about her. AFAIK this lady has an ongoing complaint with the PCC about what Liz wrote about her.

Liz claims to love animals and doesn't, and she hates people.
I can't remember the specifics of that one but I do recall reading about it.Animal lover my backside.
IMO she fantasised about animals as a kid,made a load of money so bought the farm to live the dream.She forgot she had no clue how to actually look after anything.( I doubt she could keep a pot plant alive,never mind horses and sheep).
What an idiotic narcissistic fool.
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Old 13-01-2013, 23:58
Saltydog1955
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Nope, didn't intend to say any of that but thanks for the request for clarification.
You're obviously far more interested in the ins and outs of Ms Jones life than I am so I'm sure you will be much more clued up on the details of how she runs her life and deals with her numerous pets.
When she's always writing about it, it's hard not to be 'clued up'.....
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Old 13-01-2013, 23:59
sunstone
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Just dipped back into the Liz Jones playground forum.

Ouch - she is never going to be best friends with Clare Balding, lovely as she is . As a horse lover she finds horse racing disgusting.So do I .

Liz rescues old racehorses - fair play Liz - it's a sad old world where these lovely horses are shot and destroyed at about 5 years old
I know what you mean,but the sad thing is LJ does not give them a good home.
It would surely be better if she spent all that money on sponsoring them in a reputable shelter than having them herself where they are constantly sick/suffering?
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Old 14-01-2013, 00:02
sunstone
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Waves to Saltydog
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Old 14-01-2013, 08:27
Sarah Soreen
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Havent caught up with the new posts yet, will drop back later, but I'd like to quickly share with you all the priceless bottom panel on this article..............

JIZ Jones?

Catch it quick before it is edited!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...hion-week.html
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Old 14-01-2013, 09:21
Becky Sharpe
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Ooh, an old-chestnut combo: 'Waah - reward cards are for little people!' [Boots call theirs 'Advantage Cards' btw], and 'Only cheap and nasty products are sold 'buy-one-get-one-free!''. If I were the manager of the Hatton Garden branch of Boots I would question the, um, veracity of these anecdotes - and point the company lawyers in the direction of many similar articles. Such as....:
7 November 2009 The other day, I was in Boots buying cotton wool and my special £8.95-a-tube toothpaste, and the assistant said: 'There is a two-for-one offer on this. I'll hang on while you go back and get another one.'

'But I don't want two,' I whined. 'I can't be bothered to walk back to the aisle and get another one.' It is that sort of attitude that has proved my downfall.
In [13 August 2012 ] Harrods, where they are more helpful, they still repeat the mantra, robot fashion: ‘Do you have a Harrods reward card?’ When I bark that no, I don’t, and they are the sixth person within ten minutes to ask me that very question, they almost start to cry.
[20 August 2009 ] When you finally stagger in to pay, they ask you which pump you were at.

How on earth would I know? Then you put your card in, key in about a million numbers, and they ask if you have a loyalty card.

'No, I don't. I have too many things in my wallet and I DON'T WANT A NECTAR CARD
23 April 2011... + Ad infinitum
< sad nerd emoticon>
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Old 14-01-2013, 11:19
Saltydog1955
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Waves to Saltydog
Morning Sunstone!

*waves back*
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Old 14-01-2013, 11:46
Big Boy Barry
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Liz Jones hates racing because it's so barbaric apparently.



But writes for the Daily Mail which supports brutal cuts to public spending.

Horses - Yay!

Poor/Unemployed/Disabled Humans = BOO!
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Old 14-01-2013, 12:00
GloriaMundi
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Yes Barry. The same Daily Mail that carries page after page of racing news and special Grand National pull-out supplements.

Still, she's got to pay for the facelifts and Prada somehow and it wouldn't do to bite the hand that feeds her, would it?
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Old 14-01-2013, 12:59
fruitloop27
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Just read Jones's article and she is the epitome of a word I want to write on here but if I did, I'd get banned! (you all know which word I'm talking about)
Even the DM readers are slating her. She is repulsive.
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Old 14-01-2013, 14:19
cathrin
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How many more times is she going to retell the "anecdote" about the till assistant drawing her attention to a 2-for-one offer? She trots this tale out over and over again, changing the details every time, seemingly expecting us to share her indignation because some helpful shop assistant was kind enough to try and save her money. Even if this were the most fascinating story in the world, telling it over and over again would be ridiculous. But it isn't remotely interesting or printworthy. It's tedious and irritating, and shows LJ in a very bad light.

She really does seem to forget what she's written, doesn't she? But surely her editors must recognise the same old stuff being rehashed yet again? Doesn't anyone from the DM ever do a double-take and say "Umm, Liz, I think we've heard this story before?"...Writers could just about get away with this before the internet....but now that everything is Googlable and checkable, how does she expect it to go unnoticed?
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Old 14-01-2013, 18:52
coldcomfort
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In which I am asked if I have a Nectar Card
Did I tell you about the time I went in to Boots for a tube of my special £8.95 a-tube-toothpaste and the dozy assistant told me there was a two-for-one offer . . .
Ed. 'Ready, aim, FIRE!!!!!!!'
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Old 14-01-2013, 18:57
Saltydog1955
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In which I'm asked if I have a Nectar Card
Did I tell you about the time I went in to Boots for a tube of my special £8.95 a-tube-toothpaste and the dozy assistant told me there was a two-for-one offer . . .
Ed. 'Ready, aim, FIRE!!!!!!!'
Apparently the toothpaste she uses is especially for people with whiffy breath, so along with the reeking electric blanketed bed full of dishes of prawns for the cats her breath stinks too....

http://www.chemistdirect.co.uk/retar..._match_e_plid_
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Old 14-01-2013, 19:56
Drood
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In which I am asked if I have a Nectar Card
Did I tell you about the time I went in to Boots for a tube of my special £8.95 a-tube-toothpaste and the dozy assistant told me there was a two-for-one offer . . .
Ed. 'Ready, aim, FIRE!!!!!!!'
Of course Liz doesn't want any sort of loyalty card. It would mean she would actually be saving money and why would she want to do that when she'd much rather spend all her dosh on expensive gifts to make herself appear generous then cry poverty.
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Old 14-01-2013, 21:36
Becky Sharpe
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In which I am asked if I have a Nectar Card....[blah...blah] . .
Ed. 'Ready, aim, FIRE!!!!!!!'
[Bib] That line's even better if you can picture LJ's 'Ed' as an increasingly twitchy Chief Inspector Dreyfus figure [!]
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Old 15-01-2013, 13:50
cathrin
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Does anyone else agree that making a weak pun and then putting "Ha ha" in brackets afterwards is the kind of thing most people grow out of by the age of, hmm, about twelve? I can't think of any other writer who uses this childish habit to show their readers when something is supposed to be funny!

Kudos to Clare Balding BTW for her dignified response. The perfect way to deal with a bully: show them how unimportant their bullying is and move on. I bet LJ is seething; she was probably hoping Clare would retaliate with an emotional response and give her something she can hang onto and rake over endlessly, so she could present herself in a "victim" role and make her target look like the bad guy. (Much the same as she did with that other writer she kept insulting recently, who eventually cracked and said something rude back which is now going to be worn by Liz as a badge of victimhood for evermore!)
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