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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)


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Old 28-01-2013, 08:14
Becky Sharpe
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Blondie, I honestly think she is trying too hard now - it's a ridiculous charicature of an article (well most of hers are) but this really is beyond the pale - there are so many outrageous statements it's hard to know where to start.
An unashamed 'troll' isn't it?
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Old 28-01-2013, 13:35
coldcomfort
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Hmm... hope LJ hasn't used the real names of her coursemates. [+Wantology is a misprint, imho ]
I reckon Dave, the 'life coach' geezer, was taking the p1ss when/if he referred to the Lizard as being 'kind, caring, patient and funny'. In your own world, lass, because if being patient amounts to snapping, shouting and having outbursts for no apparent reason, then I'm glad I live in mine. The 85-hour-week garbage was beyond a joke and once again she mentioned cupcakes. This middle-aged harridan comes from a time when they were always called buns, plain and simple. Would she say, for instance, 'Have you heard about Fiona? She's got a cupcake in the oven and is due in six months.' Or, 'The girls looked adorable when they went to their ballet class, with their hair swept up into neat cupcakes.' No, she probably wouldn't if she ever bothered to read back the bunkum she trots out, as she once railed against the 'Americanisms' that have crept into our language. I've noticed that she now always refers to Nirps as 'my husband', not the 'ex-husband' any more. Do you think he's taken up drumming/guitar lessons and they've got back together, as the head in the bed on the Dreary drawing a few weeks back had a full head of black hair? She promised a 'twist' about the RS a year or so ago; this might (yawn) be it.
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Old 28-01-2013, 16:27
morecowbell
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I reckon Dave, the 'life coach' geezer, was taking the p1ss when/if he referred to the Lizard as being 'kind, caring, patient and funny'. In your own world, lass, because if being patient amounts to snapping, shouting and having outbursts for no apparent reason, then I'm glad I live in mine. The 85-hour-week garbage was beyond a joke and once again she mentioned cupcakes. This middle-aged harridan comes from a time when they were always called buns, plain and simple. Would she say, for instance, 'Have you heard about Fiona? She's got a cupcake in the oven and is due in six months.' Or, 'The girls looked adorable when they went to their ballet class, with their hair swept up into neat cupcakes.' No, she probably wouldn't if she ever bothered to read back the bunkum she trots out, as she once railed against the 'Americanisms' that have crept into our language. I've noticed that she now always refers to Nirps as 'my husband', not the 'ex-husband' any more. Do you think he's taken up drumming/guitar lessons and they've got back together, as the head in the bed on the Dreary drawing a few weeks back had a full head of black hair? She promised a 'twist' about the RS a year or so ago; this might (yawn) be it.
Oooo interesting theory there cold comfort. Would he be that insane (broke) to go back?

The use of "my husband" drives me to distraction! Who would use that terminology...........still!
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Old 28-01-2013, 17:17
coldcomfort
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Nirps must already have been certified insane (and broke) to get with her in the first place. No, I was just messing - there is no man in her life, otherwise, after several years of her going on about having a famous RS for a boyfriend, it would have come out by now if there was a shred of truth in it. On planet Lizard, everything belongs to her; 'My village shop. My assistant Nic. My therapists. My estate agent. My bank manager. My house (rented, so its' not). My this, that and the other.' So, even though he's her ex, he still belongs to her. Nutter!
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Old 29-01-2013, 08:58
Seabird
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I've always believed that the RS charade has been about two things: First: keeping the Diary column; she had nothing to write about after the her divorce and the Exmoor experience ran out of steam. Inventing a 'rock star suitor' was probably some desperate strategy to keep some interest going. Second: The RS was also created to keep Nirps jealous, his ex-cougar was now desired by a world famous rock star - how could he not come running back to her with that being thrown in his face week after week. Even if the RS was real, there is no element of love or even like evident in the way she writes about him, and they are never, ever in the same place at the same time. So the RS is happy to be celibate as well as humiliated each week?
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Old 29-01-2013, 10:19
Becky Sharpe
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Even if the RS was real, there is no element of love or even like evident in the way she writes about him, and they are never, ever in the same place at the same time. So the RS is happy to be celibate as well as humiliated each week?
Indeed. All contact is via text/email. Even Jane Austen's heroines got to meet their chaps in person ..
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Old 29-01-2013, 10:30
Becky Sharpe
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I reckon Dave, the 'life coach' geezer, was taking the p1ss when/if he referred to the Lizard as being 'kind, caring, patient and funny'. .
Possibly this reader is, too. (Only a horrid cynic would query the IP address). Has she actually read the article?
Liz you are warm and caring and funny. We loved you. Please keep in touch, take care of yourself and come back and see us in the summer. We'll have that drink. xx

- Yorkshirelass1, Ossett, 28/1/2013 8:18
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Old 29-01-2013, 21:58
kiviraat
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'I didn’t read the notes. I was too busy,’ I snap. ‘I work 85 hours a week.’

Doing. What.

I'm sure we'd all love to know. Properly I mean. Not just her moaning about rushing to meetings etc.
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Old 29-01-2013, 23:56
Souffle Girl
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Indeed. All contact is via text/email. Even Jane Austen's heroines got to meet their chaps in person ..
Love it.

I've been keeping up with this thread for a while now but haven't posted in it as you and the others do such a great job with the commentary it's far more fun to just sit back and read. Watching people see LJ and her ilk for what they really are warms me up like a hot chocolate on a cold night.
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Old 30-01-2013, 17:03
coldcomfort
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Love it.

I've been keeping up with this thread for a while now but haven't posted in it as you and the others do such a great job with the commentary it's far more fun to just sit back and read. Watching people see LJ and her ilk for what they really are warms me up like a hot chocolate on a cold night.
Welcome Souffle Girl - nice first post.
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Old 30-01-2013, 17:47
cathrin
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Welcome Souffle Girl - nice first post.
Hear hear. Welcome to the coven. (Oh, and Souffle Girl.....where do you get the eggs?)
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Old 01-02-2013, 21:47
Freckles101
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Anyone in for a sweepstake as to when LJ dumps the non existant RS boy friend?
I reckon the MoS dreary article will be be about 17th Feb, three weeks after the alleged events.
Given that she can't remember what she has written from one week to the next, contradicts her Dreary regulary (no doubt due to her bordferline anorexia/borderline writing abilities/Borderline Personality Disorder), and assisted by her bottle of champagne at 4pm a day (tut, tut, LJ, do you know how many calories in a glass of fizz?) I reckon the writing is on the wall.

She has run of mileage with this story ( as he doesn't exist, so it's difficult to progress)
Feb 16th, Max.
Mid March till she starts moaning about her neighbours in Yorkshire. Max.

,
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Old 01-02-2013, 22:26
happydisaster
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Nirps must already have been certified insane (and broke) to get with her in the first place. No, I was just messing - there is no man in her life, otherwise, after several years of her going on about having a famous RS for a boyfriend, it would have come out by now if there was a shred of truth in it. On planet Lizard, everything belongs to her; 'My village shop. My assistant Nic. My therapists. My estate agent. My bank manager. My house (rented, so its' not). My this, that and the other.' So, even though he's her ex, he still belongs to her. Nutter!
Hello my thread on my forum on my internet on my laptop!

Yes Jones displays a most obvious set of personality traits which clearly indicate a severe case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Incurable probably.

I think Nirps was just using her when he married her, it didn't sound like they had any kind of connection whatsoever. How does she possibly even cling on to the memory of their relationship let alone call him 'my husband'? Sometimes I think she's trying to provoke him to a reaction. Fairplay and more power to him that he doesn't.

Oh, and it occurs to me that having a thread in 'showbiz' is really fuelling her narcissistic fire - could the thread not be moved to somewhere more appropriate?
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Old 01-02-2013, 22:28
happydisaster
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By the way, did anyone notice last week's diary was actually written by 'Liz Jones Diary' and not 'Liz Jones' ?
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Old 02-02-2013, 11:16
Saltydog1955
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By the way, did anyone notice last week's diary was actually written by 'Liz Jones Diary' and not 'Liz Jones' ?
Hi and welcome to the thread.

I think they do that to differentiate between the Diary and the other rubbish she writes.
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Old 02-02-2013, 19:50
happydisaster
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Hi and welcome to the thread.

I think they do that to differentiate between the Diary and the other rubbish she writes.
Hi Saltydog & thank you!

I've never noticed the writer being named as Liz Jones Diary before but heh I wasn't exactly scrutinising or proof reading that garbage! Lord knows the DM are infamous for not using proof readers eh?
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Old 02-02-2013, 21:33
Scarlett O Hara
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I refuse to believe Liz Jones is a real person.

It would be too sad for humanity if she was.
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Old 03-02-2013, 09:06
newbaby
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Today's droning Dreary is just complete and utter bilge. How does this woman manage to have so many veterinary disasters? All at once. And then bleat about the cost.

I honestly don't think LJ should be in a charge of a goldfish, much less dogs, cats and horses. She jdoesn't have an iota of a clue.
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Old 03-02-2013, 09:32
Saltydog1955
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And this today too.

Animal lover Liz keeps dying chicken alive because she'll feel bad when it dies. Selfish, cruel woman who shouldn't be allowed within 100 miles of any creature.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...#axzz2Jp9psrou
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Old 03-02-2013, 10:48
happydisaster
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I refuse to believe Liz Jones is a real person.

It would be too sad for humanity if she was.
Well I don't wana give you a nervous breakdown but I too wasn't sure she was real.... until..... she appeared upon the Phil n Fern show telling the whole nation that all women above the age of 40 steal sperm from used condoms

I'm sure you can google this sad sorry appearance on youtube and see for yourself in real life she's WORSE than in her column.
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Old 03-02-2013, 12:15
Becky Sharpe
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Goodbye Gwen, the chicken with cancer who stole my heart...


That article should be read with Elton John's Candle In The Wind playing in the background. (Yes, I am horrible). PS: Welcome to the thread, Souffle Girl
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Old 03-02-2013, 12:26
tabitha2
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What I find very difficult to understand is the comment in today's diary: "She had suddenly become very thin: her neck is concave, her withers exposed, and I can feel every rib"

"Suddenly" ?? When did either Liz or Nic actually look at Lizzie last?

It's full of barely hidden annoyance that Nic has had the audacity to take a holiday...has she moved to Reeth/Richmond too?
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Old 03-02-2013, 13:02
Sarah Soreen
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All three articles today are a complete disgrace. The woman is a menace and shouldnt be permitted to keep them in the first place.

Horses do not "suddenly" become thin. I expect her poor horse has been showing symptoms for some time now but has been subjected to holistic pretendy vetty chats about stress instead of her employing a PROPER VET to take care of her. Just because something is "holistic" or "herbal" doesnt make it right or appropriate to the animal. Whilst her bonkers idealistic notions are all fine and dandy when it is just her who is being affected by them, it is quite another for these to be imposed on animals who are reliant on her for their health and wellbeing. They didnt ask her to "rescue" them and subject their old age to this pap nor to be left to linger long past their time because she is too selfish to let them go. She dresses up the misery of these poor animals and peddles it to the masses as some form of perverse entertainment and some strange affirmation that she is somehow better than the rest of us. Well it isnt. It is rapidly becoming an animal welfare issue and I hope the vets in her new home refuse to pander to her ludicrous nonsense and whims and stand up for the animals under their care.

As for that poor old chicken. Another left to linger on long past her time, likely in pain and covered daily in Sudocream. Well isnt that a spiffing retirement wearing a tea cosy and being alone as the last hen being given chemo? And her poor old cat. That really upset me to read the details of how long she was too selfish to do the right thing. Her loyal friend deserved MUCH better at the end of her life than that. Just awful, pretty much reduced me to tears.

Someone hit the nail on the head in the paltry 6 comments they allowed onto the chicken article and I will quote it here.

I'm a little concerned Liz Jones has some sort of animal version of munchausen-by-proxy syndrome, as her pets seem so sickly all the time!
Well said Sir! And it is high time someone did something about it!
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Old 03-02-2013, 13:32
Saltydog1955
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What I find very difficult to understand is the comment in today's diary: "She had suddenly become very thin: her neck is concave, her withers exposed, and I can feel every rib"

"Suddenly" ?? When did either Liz or Nic actually look at Lizzie last?

It's full of barely hidden annoyance that Nic has had the audacity to take a holiday...has she moved to Reeth/Richmond too?
Nic is apparently in the London Cupboard convalescing after an operation.

She never mentions that does she?
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Old 03-02-2013, 14:13
gilliedew
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I honestly think she sits down and thinks"What can I wind up my dislikers with today" Lo and behold another masterpiece in self pity, animal neglect and stupidity.
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