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Old 09-02-2013, 21:25
tim59
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What's the problem?

He's just after a bit of action, and you can't blame a guy for trying.

If it's bothering you that much, ask him to back off. If he doesn't, report him to your manager. But if I were in your shoes and I had a woman making those sorts of offers to me, I wouldn't turn her down.
The statement you have made makes , you just as bad and in the wrong as the person doing this to her = both sad little men
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Old 10-02-2013, 01:02
Dante Ameche
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I could almost guarantee this comment would come.
So do you always need to know the nationality of the people involved when someone posts that they're having issues with someone at work?

How does knowing their nationalities alter the advice you'd give?

Would you change your advice if you found out the harasser was Polish an Australian or from South Africa?
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Old 10-02-2013, 01:05
Dante Ameche
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Why not mention that fact??? Anyway OP, maybe you could tell him you have a boyfriend but you don't like to talk about him.
Should she also mention her shoe size and hair colour to help with the advice she's seeking
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Old 10-02-2013, 02:15
U96
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Think about it....
I have.Co workers might be Poles.
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Old 10-02-2013, 02:37
confuddled
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I have.Co workers might be Poles.
tut tut, step quietly out and close the door
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Old 10-02-2013, 04:32
Smiffy
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So do you always need to know the nationality of the people involved when someone posts that they're having issues with someone at work?

How does knowing their nationalities alter the advice you'd give?

Would you change your advice if you found out the harasser was Polish an Australian or from South Africa?
Ahhh the PC brigade ride into town.
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Old 10-02-2013, 07:38
RandomSally
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I have.Co workers might be Poles.
Sweetie, really. She is the ONLY non Indian there.
Therefore there can be no Poles, Latvians, Chinese, Nigerians or any other nationality there (not even martians!) amongst her colleagues.
D'you see?
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Old 10-02-2013, 08:02
molliepops
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So do you always need to know the nationality of the people involved when someone posts that they're having issues with someone at work?

How does knowing their nationalities alter the advice you'd give?

Would you change your advice if you found out the harasser was Polish an Australian or from South Africa?
Some times it's just a way to describe people, not meant in an offensive way at all. I spent ages the other day trying to tell someone who was still in the building I had just finished cleaning - if I had just said the black lady everyone would have known who she was, but there I was trying to describe heigh,t weight, clothing, where she usually works, chair she sits in anything but say the one thing that would have identified her quickly.

If I am at work I am often described as white lady or only non pakistani. Does that upset me ? No.
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Old 10-02-2013, 08:10
Smiffy
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I just have to laugh.....
The OP was just introducing herself and laying out her stall. She didn't talk about her workmates in a derogatory way. Yet one of the PC brigade has to jump on board crying "foul".
Beggars belief sometimes and I can fully understand why the other poster said "I could almost guarantee this comment would come".
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Old 10-02-2013, 08:48
tim59
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I just have to laugh.....
The OP was just introducing herself and laying out her stall. She didn't talk about her workmates in a derogatory way. Yet one of the PC brigade has to jump on board crying "foul".
Beggars belief sometimes and I can fully understand why the other poster said "I could almost guarantee this comment would come".
It is a proven fact even in the uk that some people from differant cultures, who believe that women are of a lower class then men. So when the person wrote there story she did NOTHING wrong by what she said. I did not see that she was being racist in anyway.
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Old 10-02-2013, 09:01
Compton_scatter
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Should she also mention her shoe size and hair colour to help with the advice she's seeking
If she had you'd probably have an issue with that too. I stand by my original comment, so what if she mentioned she was non-Indian?
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Old 10-02-2013, 09:24
Potkettle
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The OP was pointing out she was the only non-Indian in the restaurant.. Why should she not mention that fact? If she had a problem with a race issue she would not be working in an Indian restaurant. Perhaps because of different cultures it may make it harder for her how to deal with her problem, hence coming on here for advice.

Why do people look for problems that don't exist?
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Old 10-02-2013, 09:45
Just_Isabella
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It is a proven fact even in the uk that some people from differant cultures, who believe that women are of a lower class then men. So when the person wrote there story she did NOTHING wrong by what she said. I did not see that she was being racist in anyway.
She wasn't being racist, however you're generalisations are very amusing. I've experienced sexism from white men. Unfortunately sexism still exists, that is a fact, so not sure where your proven facts are from.
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Old 10-02-2013, 10:31
tim59
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She wasn't being racist, however you're generalisations are very amusing. I've experienced sexism from white men. Unfortunately sexism still exists, that is a fact, so not sure where your proven facts are from.
we all know that sexism and racist, still exists, proven facts watch the news every day, look how alot of country treat women, look how some cultures treat women look how some reliegns treat women. That is my kind of prove
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Old 10-02-2013, 10:45
Just_Isabella
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we all know that sexism and racist, still exists, proven facts watch the news every day, look how alot of country treat women, look how some cultures treat women look how some reliegns treat women. That is my kind of prove
And my point is that sexism is not down to how religions treat women's it's those people who interpret them. Furthermore, as was my point, the only sexism I've experienced was down to white men, how do you explain that away? In any case I think the thread should not be side tracked.
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Old 10-02-2013, 11:05
tim59
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And my point is that sexism is not down to how religions treat women's it's those people who interpret them. Furthermore, as was my point, the only sexism I've experienced was down to white men, how do you explain that away? In any case I think the thread should not be side tracked.
I agree the thread should not be side tracked, there good and bad in all races, there good and bad both sexes
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Old 10-02-2013, 11:39
ftv
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Does he have a wife or girlfriend ? Tell him you are married or in a relationship and if he doesn't cease you will tell the partner.
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Old 10-02-2013, 14:53
Toggler
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Simply tell him that his words and behaviour offend you and constitute sex discrimination. Tell him if he does it again you will make a formal complaint of harrassment to the manager/owner.

Cue him then attempting to make it all your fault by saying he was 'only joking', 'you're too sensitive' blah di blah.

Whatever, put a stop to it as failure to do so sends out the signal that he can continue and you are - by default - tacitly encouraging it.

Find a new job.
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Old 10-02-2013, 16:30
Dante Ameche
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Ahhh the PC brigade ride into town.
Ahh the failing to notice relevance brigade rolls into town.

Some times it's just a way to describe people, not meant in an offensive way at all. I spent ages the other day trying to tell someone who was still in the building I had just finished cleaning - if I had just said the black lady everyone would have known who she was, but there I was trying to describe heigh,t weight, clothing, where she usually works, chair she sits in anything but say the one thing that would have identified her quickly.

If I am at work I am often described as white lady or only non pakistani. Does that upset me ? No.
Strangely, I'm not upset by them calling you the white lady or non Pakistani lady either

I just have to laugh.....
The OP was just introducing herself and laying out her stall. She didn't talk about her workmates in a derogatory way. Yet one of the PC brigade has to jump on board crying "foul".
Beggars belief sometimes and I can fully understand why the other poster said "I could almost guarantee this comment would come".
I've not called foul, I merely asked for relevance which was answered by the OP and I was satisfied with. I have to laugh at the responses from people who have their own issues with me asking and projecting them onto the thread.

For the record, can you explain how the question I asked relates to the PC brigade and also explain what the PC brigade is?

If she had you'd probably have an issue with that too. I stand by my original comment, so what if she mentioned she was non-Indian?
There's a difference between issue and relevance. If she had said she worked in a restaurant and was having problems with a co worker, would anyone ask about the type of food sold there or the nationalities of anyone?

You can stand by your statement as long as you want but their nationalities matter not with the problem she's posting about
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Old 10-02-2013, 17:19
Saskia44
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I just have to laugh.....
The OP was just introducing herself and laying out her stall. She didn't talk about her workmates in a derogatory way. Yet one of the PC brigade has to jump on board crying "foul".
Beggars belief sometimes and I can fully understand why the other poster said "I could almost guarantee this comment would come".
I couldn't agree more!

That sort of PC nonsense has become so predictable and boring on here.

Just demonstrates how some people are either incredibly insecure or they get a kick out of being just plain belligerent - in order to make some vague, silly and non-sensical PC point.
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Old 10-02-2013, 17:31
Dante Ameche
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I couldn't agree more!

That sort of PC nonsense has become so predictable and boring on here.

Just demonstrates how some people are either incredibly insecure or they get a kick out of being just plain belligerent - in order to make some vague, silly and non-sensical PC point.
Please explain what was "PC" about what I asked

Serious question, I'm obviously missing something that you're all seeing.
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Old 10-02-2013, 21:10
technology_love
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I think it means it was quite relative to mention that she worked in and Indian restuarant but wasn't Indian herself. 99,98765% of the time you are served by an indian person insuch a restaurant.

So what if she mentioned she was not Indian?

sigh

Surprised someone hasn't mentioned health and safety, that always wins too.
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Old 10-02-2013, 22:04
Dante Ameche
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I think it means it was quite relative to mention that she worked in and Indian restuarant but wasn't Indian herself. 99,98765% of the time you are served by an indian person insuch a restaurant.

So what if she mentioned she was not Indian?

sigh

Surprised someone hasn't mentioned health and safety, that always wins too.
So if she hadn't mentioned the type of restaurant would any of the advice offered been any different?
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Old 11-02-2013, 05:15
Smiffy
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. If she had said she worked in a restaurant and was having problems with a co worker, would anyone ask about the type of food sold there or the nationalities of anyone?
We didn't need to. She had already told us. Which I, amongst others, just accepted as part of her introduction and her explanation of the situation, and let it go.
But you didn't. You saw more into it than that.
I have been in this kind of discussion before. I comment that I am not racist, and also comment that one of my best friends in in fact black. A nicer guy you couldn't wish to meet and I would trust him with my life. No different to how I would feel or describe any of my closest friends.
But somebody always comes out of the wordwork and tells me that because I had to mention the fact that he is black makes me racist. You come across as one of those people. That, my friend, is PC.
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Old 11-02-2013, 10:14
Toggler
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We didn't need to. She had already told us. Which I, amongst others, just accepted as part of her introduction and her explanation of the situation, and let it go.
But you didn't. You saw more into it than that.
I have been in this kind of discussion before. I comment that I am not racist, and also comment that one of my best friends in in fact black. A nicer guy you couldn't wish to meet and I would trust him with my life. No different to how I would feel or describe any of my closest friends.
But somebody always comes out of the wordwork and tells me that because I had to mention the fact that he is black makes me racist. You come across as one of those people. That, my friend, is PC.
Excellent post.
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