[Lukey37]

Liz Jones is back on This Morning tomorrow.

[Angelica1973]

I wonder if Ruth Langsford will ask her what happened to the rock star boyfriend

[Seabird]

Originally Posted by Lukey37

Liz Jones is back on This Morning tomorrow.

Fabulous, we'll all get the chance to see how warm and witty she really is, though on past appearances it's usually just her mumbling incoherently, looking vague and dodging any direct questions. It is then followed up with an article a couple of days later slagging off the interviewers for not asking her the right questions. As the theme is something like 'being single is best on Valentine's day' how will she explain away her rockstar boyfriend/fiance of some 3 years? Or will this be the 'big twist' that she teased us with over a year ago

[RegMonkey]

Well she's meant to be on to talk about how the only way to live is as a single person - so does she have a Rock Star boyfriend or not? It will be interesting to see the difference in the interviewing styles of Eamonn and Ruth as opposed to Philip and Holly.

[fitnessqueen]

Shame it's not Phil and Holly after Phil's reaction to her spiteful article about Holly not wearing make-up. Oh sorry- I forgot that was her being witty again. Obviously Phil couldn't see it either.

[Seabird]

Hopefully she will be lured into a false sense of security by being interviewed by Ruth and Eamonn and then, oh please then, Eamonn will go in for the kill re the RS - at which point Liz's 'profound deafness' will kick in big time.

[RegMonkey]

I must say I'm looking forward to this ...

[Angelica1973]

I've rearranged my plans to make sure I can watch it. Hope they make her squirm

[coldcomfort]

Eamonn's got nowt to lose if he goes for the jugular. She can only slate him once as being 'fat' before it gets tedious, as with Kirsty Allsopp. Boot polish ahoy!

[Amused Harpy]

Like most people on this thread, I don't find her in the least warm, witty or funny. Her Dreary entry on the 10th of February was drivel, as usual.

As if that creep Nirpal would say to anyone that La Jones was so likeable when he only looked on her as a meal ticket. She treated him like a child, though, even checking to see if he'd dried his hands properly and not wanting him to mess up her duvet with his legs yet she lets all her cats sleep on the duvet and even puts dishes of food on it. It doesn't make sense but that's par for the course.

I wonder what she'll say to Ruth and Eamonn tomorrow if she's challenged about the elusive Rock Star, considering she's supposed to be talking about life as a single person. No doubt she'll go all coy and say she's keeping her personal life private because the FRS doesn't wish to be talked about. That would be rich, coming from her!

[CollieComber]

Key questions for tomorrow:
a) Are you lying about the RS or are you lying about being single.
b) Why do you mistreat your animals so badly?
c) Can you see why buying an £1850 dress might go down badly with the various Dulverton tradespeople you still owe money to?
d) What do you think of Brickie, Shona and all the other 'misery top trumps' brigade currently boring for England in the Mail week after week?
e) Why is she barred from VB shows for life?
f) Does she think that, on balance, she ought to do us all a favour and take the easy way out?

[wear thefoxhat]

I wonder if Liz Jones reads this thread, it's so long she must surely know it exsits. If you're looking in Liz 'hi', perhaps you even contribute to this thread? Spooky!

[BellaFiga]

IN WHICH I GIVE UP ALL SEMBLANCE OF MAKING SENSE

My blackberry beeped and there was a message from Him. I deleted it angrily without reading it. How dare he think he can casually send me messages? Does he not know how busy I am brushing my hair driving down the middle lane of the M1?

I prodded out a message with my thumb HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME LIKE MY DRUNK SISTER THAT FALLS OVER. And then a man stopped and gave me flowers, saying I was warm, witty and that he tells everyone he meets how warm and witty I am. He also gave me 50p in case I went over a toll bridge somewhere murdery.

Lala, who mucks out, phoned me to say that the old mare had laryngitis again and should she call out the hostile vet? I snapped at her that I was brushing my hair on the M1 and was I expected to be responsible for everything? For sisters and mums and prawns and paws and rock star pretendy men? I slammed down the phone and would have cried but I was botoxed at Mr Shane of Wigmore Street yesterday and I can't close my eyes now.

I stopped off at a petrol station because my car dared to need refilling. On the wrong side. How am I supposed to know which side the petrol goes? If I were a white middle class man my sister or my horse would do it for me.

The RS suddenly appeared, and serenaded me about being warm and witty even though I've got "nae tits". That's the last time I take my vest off for him.

[Becky Sharpe]

Originally Posted by BellaFiga

... He also gave me 50p in case I went over a toll bridge somewhere murdery....

The RS suddenly appeared, and serenaded me about being warm and witty even though I've got "nae tits". That's the last time I take my vest off for him.

Absolutely fabulous [to coin a phrase]

[CollieComber]

BellaFiga... I love you... that is all.

[Freckles101]

Brilliant BellaFiga!

[Seabird]

Best yet BellaFiga! Looking forward to reading 'Liz's' account of being on This Morning

[Mommie Dearest]

well the Jizzmeister was a no-show. What a disappointment!

[Hootie McBoob]

I've just watched This morning for nothing This is the most disappointing day of my life

[Seabird]

Well, it will be interesting if we get to find out why there was a no show on TM. I wonder at what point she realised that if she went on live TV to talk about 'being alone on Valentine's Day' she just might be asked why she's been claiming to be in a relationship with a 'piggy-eyed Rock Star' for years. No doubt she will claim to be so traumatised by the horse meat scandal that she had to cancel all appointments - is anyone REALLY surprised she didn't appear? Shame I was looking forward to her being as funny as Astor claims...

[Becky Sharpe]

Originally Posted by Hootie McBoob

I've just watched This morning for nothing This is the most disappointing day of my life

Standing someone up is a heinous crime, as Liz has been regularly reminding us since 31st December 1999. It will be good therapy for Eamonn and Ruth to mention today's disappointment at every opportunity which presents itself over the next decade or so .

[coldcomfort]

'So, Lez,' Eamonn began, leaning forward on the sofa while I tried to work out his BMI. 'This is the most romantic day of the year, but you claim being single is all fine and dandy. Yet you also claim that you've been seeing a famous rock star for the past few years. Now, could you enlighten our viewers, as I'm sure many will be intrigued as to what the real situation is.' I cocked one of my profoundly deaf ears towards him. 'Ay?' I distinctly heard Ruth give a deep sigh. What's her problem? Eamonn shifted his weight around on the sofa and began again. 'Okay, Lez. Can I ask you about a certain Scottish gentleman you've been dropping clues about in your columns for the longest time? There was a lot of speculation that he and his band asked young American actors in the eighties not to forget about him. Am I on the right lines?' I gave a light, airy laugh. 'I don't know what you're talking about.' I trilled. 'I've never done anything of the sort.' Eamonn cleared his throat. 'We've invited you on today so you could tell us why being a singleton is preferable to being in a . . .' 'How dare you call me a simpleton!' I gasped. 'I didn't come on here to be insulted!' Ruth looked nervously at Eamonn. I should think so too! I made a lot of effort for this show, carefully choosing my Steve McQueen Jacket, Vera Duckworth slacks and Jimmy Tarbuck shoes. I don't know why I even bothered! 'Lez, would it make things easier if I wrote the questions down?' Eamonn asked in desperation. I sneered down at Ruth's cheap black courts before playing my trump card. Sick of this Gestapoesque treatment, I held my palm towards Eamonn to expose the eye I'd drawn on it before the interview started. Well, what's good enough for David Blaine . . .

[fitnessqueen]

Originally Posted by coldcomfort

'So, Lez,' Eamonn began, leaning forward on the sofa while I tried to work out his BMI. 'This is the most romantic day of the year, but you claim being single is all fine and dandy. Yet you also claim that you've been seeing a famous rock star for the past few years. Now, could you enlighten our viewers, as I'm sure many will be intrigued as to what the real situation is.' I cocked one of my profoundly deaf ears towards him. 'Ay?' I distinctly heard Ruth give a deep sigh. What's her problem? Eamonn shifted his weight around on the sofa and began again. 'Okay, Lez. Can I ask you about a certain Scottish gentleman you've been dropping clues about in your columns for the longest time? There was a lot of speculation that he and his band asked young American actors in the eighties not to forget about him. Am I on the right lines?' I gave a light, airy laugh. 'I don't know what you're talking about.' I trilled. 'I've never done anything of the sort.' Eamonn cleared his throat. 'We've invited you on today so you could tell us why being a singleton is preferable to being in a . . .' 'How dare you call me a simpleton!' I gasped. 'I didn't come on here to be insulted!' Ruth looked nervously at Eamonn. I should think so too! I made a lot of effort for this show, carefully choosing my Steve McQueen Jacket, Vera Duckworth slacks and Jimmy Tarbuck shoes. I don't know why I even bothered! 'Lez, would it make things easier if I wrote the questions down?' Eamonn asked in desperation. I sneered down at Ruth's cheap black courts before playing my trump card. Sick of this Gestapoesque treatment, I held my palm towards Eamonn to expose the eye I'd drawn on it before the interview started. Well, what's good enough for David Blaine . . .

I can actually see her doing it too!!!

[Seabird]

Brilliant CC I really did LOL at that and could hear Eamonn's voice perfectly, well done. If nothing else, Liz has given us some great laughs via Cold Comfort and BellaFiga, keep 'em coming...

[The Prumeister]

Originally Posted by coldcomfort

'So, Lez,' Eamonn began, leaning forward on the sofa while I tried to work out his BMI. 'This is the most romantic day of the year, but you claim being single is all fine and dandy. Yet you also claim that you've been seeing a famous rock star for the past few years. Now, could you enlighten our viewers, as I'm sure many will be intrigued as to what the real situation is.' I cocked one of my profoundly deaf ears towards him. 'Ay?' I distinctly heard Ruth give a deep sigh. What's her problem? Eamonn shifted his weight around on the sofa and began again. 'Okay, Lez. Can I ask you about a certain Scottish gentleman you've been dropping clues about in your columns for the longest time? There was a lot of speculation that he and his band asked young American actors in the eighties not to forget about him. Am I on the right lines?' I gave a light, airy laugh. 'I don't know what you're talking about.' I trilled. 'I've never done anything of the sort.' Eamonn cleared his throat. 'We've invited you on today so you could tell us why being a singleton is preferable to being in a . . .' 'How dare you call me a simpleton!' I gasped. 'I didn't come on here to be insulted!' Ruth looked nervously at Eamonn. I should think so too! I made a lot of effort for this show, carefully choosing my Steve McQueen Jacket, Vera Duckworth slacks and Jimmy Tarbuck shoes. I don't know why I even bothered! 'Lez, would it make things easier if I wrote the questions down?' Eamonn asked in desperation. I sneered down at Ruth's cheap black courts before playing my trump card. Sick of this Gestapoesque treatment, I held my palm towards Eamonn to expose the eye I'd drawn on it before the interview started. Well, what's good enough for David Blaine . . .