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Gay teenage son seeing 25 year old
As the title says. My 17 year old son recently told me he's gay. Fair do's....however tonight he told me he has being seeing someone from Ireland (we're in Scotland) and he plans to go and stay with this guy for 2 weeks in Ireland.
I can't help but worry about the age difference here..my son is 17 and this guy is 25... should I be worried?
I can't help but worry about the age difference here..my son is 17 and this guy is 25... should I be worried?
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They 'met' online but apparently this guy has been over here once so they have actually met in person.
The key here is to balance being reasonable whilst showing you natural concern. Treat him like the adult he is becoming, but that he still has to respect you ultimate stance on a matter (e.g. if you really do not feel it is appropriate for him to go). The age difference isn't really a big deal here in my opinion, if your son was 18 then he would be an adult, again it just that awkwardness of the 16/17 year old. So in short terms, try and meet the guy yourself, its the only way of getting peace of mind really.
You are spot on.:)
Kids in their 20s I don`t know what planet you are living on!
Certainly! I'm 21, and though I may act like a big kid sometimes, I wouldn't at all consider myself to be anything other than an adult now.
On topic though, I would gently suggest maybe meeting this guy if your son is comfortable with it. Just ask your son if he can try to see it from your point of view for a minute. You'll likely get a good idea from his response... if he's grown-up enough to travel to Ireland for a fortnight to be with this guy, then he ideally needs to be grown-up enough to introduce you to each other.
If they've been talking for some time and have met already, I don't see any immediate cause for concern...I've come across a lot less comfortable age gaps than this. That said, I know it's something that you're rightfully not going to not think about. If you let him go, and if he's mature enough to let you meet this guy, even briefly, then maybe suggest just keeping in touch regularly, make sure you know where he is and I'm sure this will all work out fine in the long run
I agree. I hate that double standard.
Whilst in this situation I don't feel there's anything to worry about, you'd be surprised at how much a guy with an even smaller age gap than this can manipulate the other guy. I've seen it happen more than once, and sadly it's the same people over and over who never seem to learn
When I was just turned 18 I was dating a 30 year old guy, looking back perhaps that was a big age gap!
I would feel he would be potentially in a vulnerable situation staying at the house of someone he's met once in essentially another country.
Despite talking on line he doesn't really know him as on line people can spin any yarn
On the e harmony thread a girl was asked if she thought it was a good idea to go over to a mans house for the evening on second meeting let alone for a fortnight!
More then the age gap that would be my concern
I would try to meet him first.
At the end of the day 17 year olds think they are invincible- they aren't
How is he funding his trip?
I would imagine like most his age if you place objections in front of him he would say "it's because I'm gay" "you don't live me/want to ruin my life" so I would make sure to have your answers ready before bracing the subject
At 17 I had a brief relationship with a 23 year old- I thought I was hot sh@t cause of it
Turned out actually he was a total dick
That would also show him being mature and thinking ahead.
I'm not sure I'd consider 17-25 a huge age gap either.
As a matter of interest would you or your parents have been comfortable with you going to another country and staying in the guys house for 2 weeks before you even knew him ?
Even a 40 year old would need to be so careful who and when and where they meet up with strangers .
When I discuss with my friends the ages of their first boyfriends, hardly any one was going out with someone their own age.