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Do you grieve over a pet?


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Old 15-05-2013, 00:21
monkino
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Thank you.

That is exactly how I see my pets, they are part of the family. To be honest, I like them more than I like most people!
You are welcome, and yes I prefer animals to people too. They are innocent and they depend upon you for everything. They give unconditional love, and you never really realise the support they give you until they are gone. I am probably quite tough on people in general, but I think those people who are able to love animals are quite special people indeed.
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Old 15-05-2013, 00:24
CherryRose
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You cant understand his lack of emotion and he cant understand why you are heartbroken. People are just different, neither is right or wrong.

And yes, I still miss my dog a lot, 12 years on. Because to me she was part of the family. So I understand your grief. But I also understand not everyone feels the same way.
I understand people react differently to things and feel differently but I dont understand his lack of compassion and sympathy towards me his partner of ten years and his young children when he can see that we're brokenhearted

In ten years ive fallen out with him once but tonight im so pissed off at his lack of understanding for other peoples feelings. I respect his right not to be upset, I havent mocked or belittled him for his feelings but its a shame he cant do the same!
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Old 15-05-2013, 00:24
November_Rain
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It's something non-pet owners scoff about but unless you've owned an animal, I don't think you realise just how much you get attached to them, and as such how hard it is when they go.

It might not be the same as losing a person you care about but it still hits you hard. I think this is especially true when it comes to cats and dogs.

I've lost two dogs in my time and I felt crushed by both incidents.
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Old 15-05-2013, 00:25
priscilla
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Sorry to hear about your cat Cherry.

My cat still young and hopefully has a long life ahead of her, but I know I will grieve for her just love her soo much and it would break my heart to think I could never see her again.
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Old 15-05-2013, 00:26
monkino
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I understand people react differently to things and feel differently but I dont understand his lack of compassion and sympathy towards me his partner of ten years and his young children when he can see that we're brokenhearted

In ten years ive fallen out with him once but tonight im so pissed off at his lack of understanding for other peoples feelings. I respect his right not to be upset, I havent mocked or belittled him for his feelings but its a shame he do the same!
Don't be too hard on him. Some people do not have the gift that you (and others) have of being able to see love in animals. It is his loss and he deserves a little pity rather than annoyance. You know what you are feeling is real, and that's really all that matters.
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Old 15-05-2013, 00:29
woodbush
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Not remotely pathetic, you are just human and lost a family member.
Exactly. I've cried at every one of my dogs deaths. It's like losing one of the family.

Sorry for your loss OP.
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Old 15-05-2013, 00:32
Chizzleface
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Yes, I grieve for my pets. Sometimes even more for them than I do for people.
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Old 15-05-2013, 00:33
CherryRose
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Absolutely.

First of all, very sorry for the loss of your cat

When my cat was run over and killed, I was absolutely gutted. For the first few days afterwards, I actually burst into tears every time I pulled into the driveway and he wasn't sleeping in his usual spot. It took me ages to get over it. Some people thought I was pathetic, but to me he was part of the family .... obviously not quite on a par with the children, but the very next level down!
My first experience of a pet dying was in 2008.

When I was 6 years old after my Grandfather died I was bought a little tabby cat who ventured through many experiences of my life by my side at the majority of key events of my life. 22 years later after a full loving life I had to make the terrible decision to have him put to sleep because lifes old age was causing him unbareable pain. He was every part of my life and will be forever. I loved him more than I loved some of my family members, obviously not my immediate family but his death hurt as much as when my Grandmother died and took as long to get over.

I am just annoyed at my OH as he has made me feel as though my feelings are silly
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Old 15-05-2013, 00:47
Miss XYZ
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Yes, very much so. It breaks my heart when one of our pets dies.
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Old 15-05-2013, 00:51
rfonzo
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My first experience of a pet dying was in 2008.

When I was 6 years old after my Grandfather died I was bought a little tabby cat who ventured through many experiences of my life by my side at the majority of key events of my life. 22 years later after a full loving life I had to make the terrible decision to have him put to sleep because lifes old age was causing him unbareable pain. He was every part of my life and will be forever. I loved him more than I loved some of my family members, obviously not my immediate family but his death hurt as much as when my Grandmother died and took as long to get over.

I am just annoyed at my OH as he has made me feel as though my feelings are silly :cry:
If I could give your OH some advice, I think he needs to come and sit down next to you and give a good, warm hug. I hope he does that for you. Just try and take each day as it comes, I am sure you have the strength.
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Old 15-05-2013, 00:54
Enfant Terrible
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My first experience of a pet dying was in 2008.

When I was 6 years old after my Grandfather died I was bought a little tabby cat who ventured through many experiences of my life by my side at the majority of key events of my life. 22 years later after a full loving life I had to make the terrible decision to have him put to sleep because lifes old age was causing him unbareable pain. He was every part of my life and will be forever. I loved him more than I loved some of my family members, obviously not my immediate family but his death hurt as much as when my Grandmother died and took as long to get over.

I am just annoyed at my OH as he has made me feel as though my feelings are silly
Try and get some sleep CherryRose, and don't be too hard on your partner. Some people genuinely don't understand the bond we can have with other animals, it leaves them very confused and sometimes even jealous. Your OH may well be experiencing the latter.
Sorry for you loss - having lost my best friend of 14 years very recently I know it's a tough one.
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Old 15-05-2013, 01:06
BastardBeaver
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I have shed more tears over dead pets than i have dead relatives.

Some people find that weird, my best friend being one of those people, but its just the way it is. I find dead animals more upsetting than dead adult human.

Edit: im not a canniball!
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Old 15-05-2013, 01:14
MsWilder11
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Yes. I've never got over my cats going. I actually held the paw of one of them as they put him down and literally felt the life go out of him. I was that upset that the vets sent me a condolence card shortly after. I can't look at pictures of them without tearing up.
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Old 15-05-2013, 01:23
So 3008
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The dog that we had had since I was seven years old died only five months ago, and I was absolutely distraught and felt more sad about her death than I ever have a human relatives. I still think about her and get very sad everyday, so I know your pain OP and am very sorry for your loss.

Surely it's normal and understandable to feel more sad about the death of someone you saw everyday for years, regardless of species, than a great grandparent you saw only a couple of dozen times or so in your life?
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Old 15-05-2013, 02:14
GloriaSnockers
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Yes. I've never got over my cats going. I actually held the paw of one of them as they put him down and literally felt the life go out of him. I was that upset that the vets sent me a condolence card shortly after. I can't look at pictures of them without tearing up.
I held my dog too when she was given her last needle, and I can remember being shocked by how 'instant' it was. One minute I could feel her laying against me, and then I felt the full weight of her body as she left it behind and took everything else that made her special to some place far away. It's something you never forget.

I've always been upset when my animals have died, but I've usually stopped showing the worst of it long before I've stopped feeling it, and understand that not everybody reacts the same way. When we were kids my dad never showed that he was upset when our animals died, even though he'd been as fond of them as we were. Seeing us distressed hurt him as much (probably more) than losing the animal, and so he distanced himself from it by not letting on that he was bothered and leaving the rest of us to get on with it.

It wasn't that he didn't care, just that it was easier for him not to give into it. Maybe there's an element of that going on with your husband. It doesn't always show itself for what it is - my dad wouldn't even have admitted it to himself half the time. I'm sorry about your cat.
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Old 15-05-2013, 02:20
PrimalIce
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This thread is actually making me cry. I'm glad now my parents went when my dog was put down, dont think i could cope with the above.
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Old 15-05-2013, 03:37
woodbush
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Yes. I've never got over my cats going. I actually held the paw of one of them as they put him down and literally felt the life go out of him. I was that upset that the vets sent me a condolence card shortly after. I can't look at pictures of them without tearing up.
Our vet sent us a letter from my old boy Zinda. She had known him for many years.

She told us that he loved us and had a great life. We still have the letter. We had to to put him to sleep in 1988 and had him since he was an 8 week old puppy. This thread has made me cry.

I still love that dog and have two other Alstions since.

My boy is now 8, I hate to think when the day comes when we have to make the decision again.
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Old 15-05-2013, 04:13
owllover
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I am just annoyed at my OH as he has made me feel as though my feelings are silly
I'm so sorry Cherry. Your cat was a family member and of course you're grieving. I agree with Gloria - perhaps your OH is trying to hold things together for the family. Don't be too hard on him (he may be crying inside but sometimes it seems easier to bat things away).

Lovely posts on here and such well-loved pets. I had my little cat-mate pts a few weeks ago at just over 14. I'd hoped she'd live much longer but renal failure got her. I still cry for her.

It's the price we pay for the mutual love.
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Old 15-05-2013, 04:32
Aerick
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years later I still think about my first dog who died when I was 5 years old. that was a long time ago but the hurt is still there..

even animals can grieve for one another, you can see sad videos on youtube showing pets crying over the loss of a friend, a few years ago this story of a hawaiian sea turtle being slain was quite a big story not only due to her killng, but the story and video of her friend , a male sea turtle coming up from the ocean onto the beach and laying at her grave site, Was so moving.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzfkeVtddIM
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Old 15-05-2013, 04:52
owllover
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Strange Aerick. I'm always cautious of anthropomorphism but I believe animals feel grief.

It's been shown over and over with dogs for their deceased owners and elephants for each other.
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Old 15-05-2013, 04:52
Tourista
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I held my dog too when she was given her last needle,
Same here.

Even though it is six and a half years since I had to have my Magic put down I still think of him every day and agreeing with the vet that he had to be put down was about the hardest decision I have ever made.
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Old 15-05-2013, 06:15
acker
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I had tiggy the cat for over fifteen years and still think about her every day.....my best mate.
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Old 15-05-2013, 06:34
geniusgirl
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It's natural to grieve over a pet, after all they are one of the family and you have them for a long time. I still miss my dog.
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Old 15-05-2013, 06:39
delly
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Sorry for your loss Op.

I lost my two dogs 2/3 years ago. It was devastating. I still have my moments and miss them so much. Some people understand, some people do not and wonder what all the fuss is about. It is hard.
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Old 15-05-2013, 06:41
Pumping Iron
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Sorry for your loss op.

I cried when I lost my hamster, I'll be really bad when my cats die, makes me sad just thinking about it.
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