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Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)


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Old 22-08-2013, 20:04
sunstone
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^ ninja'd by fitnessqueen .

I speed-read the GBBO piece...no, I lie, just glanced over it as her usual buzzwords just leapt off the page. Memememe, tra la la....
She's done a few on the GBBO, I think there was one when she went to MB's house and learned to bake something.I also seem to remember some chef doing a turn at her own "pristine" house,may have been Gordon Rancid?.

Any normal person living with a mother who is cooking for nine. might have lent a hand and learned a bit.
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Old 23-08-2013, 18:40
Fatsia
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She's obsessed with Mary Berry! Three older farticles -

August 2012, Can Mary Berry teach a fruitcake like Liz Jones to bake?
October 2012, Mary Berry's recipe for style
January 2013, Mary Berry's dazzlingly elegant appearance at the TV awards proves she is rewriting the fashion recipe for older women

Girl-crush or stalker?
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Old 23-08-2013, 19:33
Zora
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Hi! I'm another who used to love poking fun at Liz Jones but now finds her column completely unreadable. This thread is the only reason I bother to continue to check what she's rambling about now. I wouldn't understand her without posters here to dissect her God-awful writing.
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Old 23-08-2013, 19:37
Seabird
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Yes, the Mary Berry obsession is now officially creepy. Obviously something to do with issues with her own mother, she has abondonded the real one and decided in her head that MB is more suitable. Please, please don't let it be something, er, more...
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Old 23-08-2013, 19:48
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There's something wrong if she actually likes a woman.
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Old 25-08-2013, 15:33
sunstone
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OOh, today they are mostly spoiling us.

We have three farticles for the price of one,

!) Cherly Cole has a HUGE tattoo all over her bum, but LJ thinks the prancing pony she has is tasteful.

2) Something about fracking protesters that I have no clue what the point is. She wore fancy shoes and the women have tatty hair ( unlike Liz ).

3) Some peace march in Bosnia, but it seems to be about middle class women flogging make-up,.Designer shoes were burned for fuel during the war in Liz world.( I think people had bigger worries, stupid bint.), and beauty products are all they need to "lift self esteem".

The Dreary is a classic.

So the puppy, that must be about five by now, bit a walker who then called the police.
Collies are bred to nip, opines Liz. Don't walk in sheep country if you dislike border collies.
This is the owner of the untrained ,sheep killing dogs!!
She is putting up railings to keep them in. I would think she ought to ,any local farmers would be within their rights to shoot them if they are attacking sheep.
She is buying the rented place, so we are stuck with her in Yorkshire for the foreseeable. Darnnit.
The FRS has been given the push for the fantasy next door neighbour from years ago. If this man is real ,he should run for the hills.
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Old 25-08-2013, 16:00
fitnessqueen
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OOh, today they are mostly spoiling us.

We have three farticles for the price of one,

!) Cherly Cole has a HUGE tattoo all over her bum, but LJ thinks the prancing pony she has is tasteful.

2) Something about fracking protesters that I have no clue what the point is. She wore fancy shoes and the women have tatty hair ( unlike Liz ).

3) Some peace march in Bosnia, but it seems to be about middle class women flogging make-up,.Designer shoes were burned for fuel during the war in Liz world.( I think people had bigger worries, stupid bint.), and beauty products are all they need to "lift self esteem".

The Dreary is a classic.

So the puppy, that must be about five by now, bit a walker who then called the police.
Collies are bred to nip, opines Liz. Don't walk in sheep country if you dislike border collies.
This is the owner of the untrained ,sheep killing dogs!!
She is putting up railings to keep them in. I would think she ought to ,any local farmers would be within their rights to shoot them if they are attacking sheep.
She is buying the rented place, so we are stuck with her in Yorkshire for the foreseeable. Darnnit.
The FRS has been given the push for the fantasy next door neighbour from years ago. If this man is real ,he should run for the hills.

Oh he is real all right! He runs the WAGfree bakery in Brixton and his son is an Abercrombie and Fitch model. Strangely enough a farticle she wrote in 2005 when she also had a date with him has mysteriously vanished from the Mail archives. Isn't it strange how she claims to have not heard from him for about 30 years yet he has her mobile number! Curiouser and curiouser....
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Old 25-08-2013, 16:16
sunstone
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Oh he is real all right! He runs the WAGfree bakery in Brixton and his son is an Abercrombie and Fitch model. Strangely enough a farticle she wrote in 2005 when she also had a date with him has mysteriously vanished from the Mail archives. Isn't it strange how she claims to have not heard from him for about 30 years yet he has her mobile number! Curiouser and curiouser....
Oh now my head is officially cabbaged.
So has the FRS been a baker all along? ( how does she cope with his hot meat pies? aww Benny Hill..)
As confusing and improbable as putting railings on a dry stone wall I guess. *sigh*
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Old 25-08-2013, 16:23
fitnessqueen
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http://www.wagfreefood.com/

No apparently she was dating the FRS because he looks like David Scrace. His Facebook profile shows a sixty-something bloke with long grey hair. So not Jim Kerr then....
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Old 25-08-2013, 16:54
sunstone
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http://www.wagfreefood.com/

No apparently she was dating the FRS because he looks like David Scrace. His Facebook profile shows a sixty-something bloke with long grey hair. So not Jim Kerr then....
I don't do facebook, but in his sixties with long grey hair sounds a treat..
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Old 25-08-2013, 17:03
cathrin
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So another of the old favourites crops up again, named in full. And yet again, she is supposedly invited on a date by a man who then asks her to make the booking.

Fifty quid says that the next two Diary columns will run as follows:

(1) (next week) Lengthy description of (a) her past history with this man (conveniently omitting the disappointing meeting with him she wrote about a few years ago, which seems to have been edited out of the story) and (b) her beauty treatments in preparation for the date. Then, in the final paragraph, a text..... Oh, the suspense!

(2) (week after next) Would you believe it! He's cancelled! Cue lengthy description of every other man who has ever let her down in her entire dating history (Millennium Eve etc)....

Then it'll be back to puppies biting people (how old are these flipping puppies now for goodness' sake? They can't still be puppies after all these years!), horses getting sore feet/paws/hooves/flippers or whatever. Throw in a few bitter gripes about her sister and bob's your uncle! Sorted!
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Old 25-08-2013, 17:07
fitnessqueen
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Will the RS ever be mentioned again? Although moles at her bookie-wook signing event a couple of weeks ago report the use of the phrase "double parking"....
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Old 25-08-2013, 17:30
Fatsia
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Having read the farticle she wrote about meeting up with David Scrace waaaaay back in 2005 (after a mere 22 years apart), I predict a lazy re-hash; long grey hair, twinkle still in his eyes, he had no idea how I had felt, I did all this for him, his rejection coloured my life, I threw myself into work, yadda yadda yadda....
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Old 25-08-2013, 17:31
sunstone
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Cathrin, the horses flippers made me snort(and real men can't make bookings?), and Fitnessqueen, I guess double parking means seeing two blokes at once. I seem vaguely to recall her mentioning this yonks ago?

What world do I live in, where everyone doesn't speak in enigmatic texts and e-mails? People just 'phone up and identify themselves. then generally chit chat. No Jane Austen type bull.
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Old 25-08-2013, 18:11
cathrin
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I love it people confront her with her own constantly-changing versions of events! There's a great post on the Mail Comments page from "Ariel" (I'm guessing that could be one of our gang?) reminding her of what she wrote about DS a few years ago. Even better is the Amazon review of her book detailing the two different versions of the meeting with the RS (or was it someone different in the first version?) when she was wearing a grey wig after being in an amateur dramatics play.

Cue the traditional chorus: "Who cares if it's true or not? She loves animals, and that makes her a great person in my book! Nothing else matters! Haven't you people got anything to do but spend hours [er, it takes about 10 seconds] looking for this stuff on the internet to catch her out?"

I wonder if she was planning to rehash that meeting with DS she described a few years ago? Should be interesting....

It's actually rather shocking to see how much detail about this guy she included last time, including the break-up of his marriage, an affair, the name of his son and partner. How long before someone really puts their foot down to stop all this airing of other people's personal details?
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Old 25-08-2013, 18:13
vampyre
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Ariel probably grows fatsia under water.
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Old 25-08-2013, 19:40
Seabird
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Perhaps it's a Nirps style unholy alliance where they both hope to get some publicity out this magical fairytale reunion. David Scarce must know exactly what he is letting himself and his family into. Better to sell your soul to the devil than Liz Jones. I can't believe she hadn't realised that all her past witterings about him wouldn't contradict her latest version of events. The day's of what goes in newspapers is tomorrow's chip wrapping are long gone.
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Old 25-08-2013, 19:45
fitnessqueen
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Perhaps it's a Nirps style unholy alliance where they both hope to get some publicity out this magical fairytale reunion. David Scarce must know exactly what he is letting himself and his family into. Better to sell your soul to the devil than Liz Jones. I can't believe she hadn't realised that all her past witterings about him wouldn't contradict her latest version of events. The day's of what goes in newspapers is tomorrow's chip wrapping are long gone.
Thank goodness for sites which you can use to find archived columns eh
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Old 25-08-2013, 19:48
vampyre
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I agree with you Seabird, mutual benefit/exploitation. Still while she's fixating on him she's leaving someone else alone.
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Old 25-08-2013, 20:48
Zora
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Still while she's fixating on him she's leaving someone else alone.
Her own family, hopefully!
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Old 26-08-2013, 14:08
jeff_vader
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OOh, today they are mostly spoiling us.

We have three farticles for the price of one,

!) Cherly Cole has a HUGE tattoo all over her bum, but LJ thinks the prancing pony she has is tasteful.

2) Something about fracking protesters that I have no clue what the point is. She wore fancy shoes and the women have tatty hair ( unlike Liz ).

3) Some peace march in Bosnia, but it seems to be about middle class women flogging make-up,.Designer shoes were burned for fuel during the war in Liz world.( I think people had bigger worries, stupid bint.), and beauty products are all they need to "lift self esteem".

The Dreary is a classic.

So the puppy, that must be about five by now, bit a walker who then called the police.
Collies are bred to nip, opines Liz. Don't walk in sheep country if you dislike border collies.
This is the owner of the untrained ,sheep killing dogs!!
She is putting up railings to keep them in. I would think she ought to ,any local farmers would be within their rights to shoot them if they are attacking sheep.
She is buying the rented place, so we are stuck with her in Yorkshire for the foreseeable. Darnnit.
The FRS has been given the push for the fantasy next door neighbour from years ago. If this man is real ,he should run for the hills.
I speed-read all three of those. (I know, really should get a life and stop torturing myself). Not one of them made any coherent or intelligible sense. I don't mind provocative journalism, but that's taking the pee. Still, I guess she has the last laugh with the money she's making (oh, sorry, I forgot - she's poor and destitute).
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:00
mivvykins
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Will the RS ever be mentioned again? Although moles at her bookie-wook signing event a couple of weeks ago report the use of the phrase "double parking"....
If you look on WAGfree facebook page, in the comments on the right, look at the one by Daisy Morgan where she asks "Is your David Scrace THE David Scrace, who the writer Liz Jones announced was her new boyfriend at her book event in Mayfair last night?!!"
The reply comes back: "
The WAGfree Bakery, Cafe and Deli: Je suis un Rock Star!"

Check out the comments by 'Nicola Bebb' further down on the 14th August....

"Nicola Bebb: Hmmm well I was there and all Liz said was that she had dinner with David Scrace and he had paid. so never said he was her boyfriend calm down dears! lol!"
Like · Reply · 14 August at 12:00

Daisy Morgan: No, honestly. My friend recorded it and I've seen the video on her phone. Liz definitely said she was 'dating' David Scrace and that she was 'double parking' him with the Rock Star. You must have missed that bit Nic."

So if Nicola was at the same book signing with Liz, who was taking care of the 100+ animals back in Freeth?
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:34
Seabird
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Good to see in the Diary that Liz is playing it cool with David Scrace. If another sequel to Fatal Attraction is in the pipeline then the script has already been written as per their Text communication :

‘Hey Dave, lovely to see you! You have no idea how in love with you I was! Liz xx’

I got this back: ‘Past tense.’

‘Hahaha. Am!’

‘Well. I did enjoy your company. You are a very interesting lady. I would like to see you again. If you would like to.’

I shot back, feeling not an iota of guilt, given the trollop the RS had brought into the Oven: ‘Would love to! I love you!’

‘LIZ. That is good news. A little frightening. I don’t know what you would see in me. How about dinner next week?’

‘Don’t be scared. I won’t stalk you. I’m in London next week to march against live animal exports, so how about Sunday evening?’

‘Cool. I will book it. See you then X’
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:40
fitnessqueen
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Both of them also have selective amnesia as they seem to have forgotten meeting up in 2005 as detailed in a farticle she wrote at the time...

And since when has "Sex and the City" been part of British history along with Thatcher and the Blair years???
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:05
Seabird
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Well, Liz has referred grandly to herself as a fashion 'historian'. Her thesis on the previously unheard of "SATC, The British Years" must have been ground breaking. Liz's world is indeed compact, if she had to go on celebrity Mastermind her main subject would have to be 'me' and a fat zero score in the general knowledge round.
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