I want a dog but my parents won't let me - help please :)

[Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 5,433
Forum Member
Hiya,

I'm 17 and i desperately want a dog. i've seen an ad for a cocker spaniel pup and he's adorable! my parents are having none of it despite the fact that i've told them that i'll pay for his vet bills, food, toys, walk him, clean up after him etc. i've even said that he'll come with me when i move out in a few years time. they're still refusing. any ideas on how i can convince them?

many thanks

x

Comments

  • Granny WeatherwaxGranny Weatherwax Posts: 52,923
    Forum Member
    Firstly do you have a job?

    Do you know the actual cost of keeping a dog?

    Are you going to be so willing to walk it when its pouring with rain and freezing?

    When you finally get your own place, is the dog going to be left alone all day while you are out at work? Do you think this would be fair to the dog?

    Finally its your parents house, if they don't want a dog, then they don't have to have one. I'm sure they have very good reasons for their decision.
  • molliepopsmolliepops Posts: 26,821
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I have to agree with Granny when you have a home of your own you set the rules but working full time and dog owning is hard to make it work and not cause the dog problems.
  • GortGort Posts: 7,460
    Forum Member
    *Harsh mode on*

    I've seen it so often. Kid wants dog/cat, begs for it, says that they'll do everything, and convince the parents to relent. Then after a few weeks, kid gets bored with pet, and parents end up looking after it. Maybe they fear the same thing and don't want to be suckered.

    However, seeing it's their place, you abide by their rules. If you don't like it, feel free to move out and be your own boss. If you still feel the need to own a dog when you live away from your parents, then you'll be the one to decide (bar you living in rented accommodation, where it's in the tenancy agreement not to own pets, etc).
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,336
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Hi mimi ~ I know how you feel, especially as you seem to have fallen for a little pup already. But as the others have said, it's your parents house & they set the rules.

    If one of your parents' worries is that you'll get bored with the puppy & they'll be left to look after it & pay the bills, why don't you try to convince them that this won't be the case? Have you got any animal rescue centres near you? If so, what about doing some voluntary work? If your parents see a genuine commitment to dogs/cats etc. maybe they'll feel differently.

    Have you looked into the costs of owning a dog? The insurance alone can set you back £30 a month, plus food, vaccinations, collar, lead, bowls etc etc. Can you afford this much a month? What about holidays? Can you afford kennelling fees or are you prepared to give up your holidays? Having a dog is a big commitment so it may be better to wait until you are self-sufficient.
  • GortGort Posts: 7,460
    Forum Member
    Can I just say that the post above is an example to all of us cynics. I was a bit harsh, cynical and matter of fact, but wilhemina's suggestion to do voluntary work is a way better approach to this problem. If you really adore animals, then voluntary work amongst abandoned pets would be an ideal thing, and it might well convince your parents about your serious intentions, as wilhemina says. At least this way, even if you can't keep a pet, you'll be making a good difference to needy animals.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,336
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Thanks Gort ~ I speak from experience as I was desperate for a pony as a young teen. My parents refused point blank for the usual reasons of cost, commitment etc. I used all my pocket money every week for riding lessons so nothing left for sweets, cloths or social life. Then I spent the whole of one summer looking after a friend's pony when she was on holiday for 6 weeks. By the time I returned to school in September my parents were so impressed with my commitment that they were about to relent & get me a pony for my birthday.

    Then I met my first boyfriend ~ needless to say I no longer had any pocket money left for riding lessons, nor was I prepared to get up early to see to the pony before school (too busy choosing what to wear, doing my hair etc etc). It wasn't till much later that I rediscovered my love & compassion for animals & realised what a huge joy they bring to us. At least now I'm in a position to make my own choices & have no-one to blame if I make mistakes!!
  • merlinsmummerlinsmum Posts: 3,991
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Sorry Mimi but I agree with the other comments.

    Yes, the puppy is cute but there is a world of difference between the perceived reality of owning one and the actual reality.

    We had a new pup approx a month ago to keep our older GSD company, and we have had 3 puppies previously over 20 years. Yet we have found it hard at times and there's two of us. They do not immediately know they must go to toilet outside the house, or stick to a set routine for going! We have had the pleasure of cleaning up very loose number 2's at 3 a.m. plus the fact that the puppy is then wide awake and ready for playtime. There is the fact that if you don't remember to pick up items you value like favourite clothes, books etc, they WILL get chewed or even swallowed! (Your family won't like it either if a favourite item gets damaged.) Which could then result in a worried, expensive visit to the vet. It cost us £35 to get the vet to check ours last week as he had been limping for 3 days, yet he hadn't done any damage which would of course have cost us more. And that's another thing, you need to get worming tablets to worm a puppy regularly, plus the cost of it's immunisation injections, approx £70 so far for us, plus if you don't want to worry about future pups there's the cost of neuturing or spaying. We've been quoted £100 when he is due to get done.
    We of course knew what we were taking on and are prepared. I also planned beforehand to cut down on my social life on a daily basis while he's so young, I'm lucky enough to be a housewife, so it's my choice when I go out. For you this will be more difficult if you want to attend college or have a job.

    If I was your age and so keen I think I would take the advice and help out at local shelters or kennels. It would give you a real insight into what taking care of a dog really means. It may sound patronising but it really isn't. At 17 your life will be changing rapidly over the next few years. For me, I don't think my basic personality has changed since that age, but the circumstances around me, i.e. leaving school, being out in the world, personal relationships plus my relationships with family members, have all changed completely. Sorry to add to the negative feeling, but when you do eventually get your own dog, I would hope that your circumstances were such that you can fully enjoy it's company without too many worries to detract from the experience.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 410
    Forum Member
    Afraid I agree with everyone else OP. I remember what it's like to want a pet that desperately, believe me. You feel as though your parents are being unreasonable but they're really not.

    I wanted a kitten for years before we finally got our rescue cats. I used to promise everything under the sun to try and convince them - I even used to work on each parent individually to try and "break" them down. When it came down to it, I was young, didn't have the money to fulfil my promises and I wasn't mature enough to understand that these were things that needed doing day after day, however I felt.

    At seventeen, are you in a position financially to cover all the costs? As others have mentioned, it'll cost a fair whack to get his initial vaccinations before he can even start going for walks. They you have bedding, puppy food, leads, toys etc to pay for as well, all of which need to be bought before the puppy so things are ready. Then you have vaccinations every year, and costs will pop up out of the blue, like you'll realise he desperately needs something and it's your last fiver.

    Your parents are probably worried you'll not be able to pay for everything, or that he will chew things up, or a whole heap of other things that puppies do that some people don't like! A dog is the responsibility of a whole family - it's not like a hamster that will stay in your room - this is a mini whirlwind that will affect everyone. Also, as someone else pointed out, when you move out, who's to say you'll have the time a puppy needs? He'll still be young and full of energy. It's not at all fair to leave him alone seven hours a day.

    OP, we're not being deliberately mean so please don't think we are. It sounds like most of us are speaking from experience, and getting a dog is not simply a case of wearing your parents down. They have their reasons, please respect that or it will cause tension between you.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 200
    Forum Member
    I remember when I was 15 there was nothing I wanted more than a dog. I would totally walk it three times a day! I would feed it! I would teach it all sorts of neat tricks.

    I did that. For about a month. After which point it became a hassle for me to take her for a walk, and having to hoover up three times a day when she started moulting everywhere. After that I had to split the duties with my mum, and then after about two years she ended up doing most of the duties.

    I DID teach her lots of neat tricks, though...
  • fi~fi~ Posts: 5,481
    Forum Member
    dogs can be very tying
    your only 17 you may say the dog will go with you when you move out but unless you buy a plce then you may be limited where you can go, a lot of people who let houses dont want pets and if you go to Uni then its unlikely that dogs will be allowed into halls etc
    also taking away the financial cost if you go on holiday then someone will have to look after the dog if you dont want to put it into kennels
    also being hungover and having to walk or get up to let the dog out for a pee at 7am aint fun
    i have to hoover a lot more as my dog casts hair like made

    i cant go out for the full day as he needs let out and fed - most hes ever been alone is about 6 hours and even then i hate doing it

    i pay on average 30 a month for my dog, thats insurance (which i pay annually, 140 quid for the next year) then theres food, treats, booster jags are 30 quid a pop then grooming about 15 (prob more if your considering a cocker spaniel) every few months

    however im 32 and working full time but my mum looks after him as well and takes him out when im at work

    my dog gets at least 1 walk a day sometimes more but always 1 and you have to do it in the rain, snow, hungover ill etc

    its a committment that you do need to think through fully as theres nothing worse than getting a dog and having to have it rehomed a few years down the line cos you never realised the cost etc
  • 2shy20072shy2007 Posts: 52,577
    Forum Member
    Get a dog when you move out, respect your parents wishes , it is their home and if they dont want a dog, then they shouldnt be forced into getting one.

    Perhaps its time for you looked for your own place? then you can have as many animals as you wish :)
  • molliepopsmolliepops Posts: 26,821
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Perhaps its time for you looked for your own place? then you can have as many animals as you wish

    Or better still as many as you can afford to keep and look after properly ?
  • 2shy20072shy2007 Posts: 52,577
    Forum Member
    Well yes, that goes without saying :)
  • Babe RainbowBabe Rainbow Posts: 34,349
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Their house, their rules :)
  • molliepopsmolliepops Posts: 26,821
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    2shy2007 wrote: »
    Well yes, that goes without saying :)

    Honestly for some people it has to be said (not you obviously ;)).
  • TWSTWS Posts: 9,307
    Forum Member
    I wanted a dog all my teenage years but was not allowed one i moved out a 21 determined i would get a dog but running the house and the car and having a full time job i could not afford one. It was 7 years later when i got my dog after i moved to a bigger house, had a partner and enough money to pay for my dog to go to a creche whilst i was at work.

    You may have to wait some time but the time will be right some day and you will get the dog you want.
  • rosemaryrosemary Posts: 11,389
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    I'm afraid I agree with whats been said so far, if your parents don't want a dog, its probably best to wait

    In the meantime maybe you could consider sponsoring a dog, not quite the same I know, but we sponsor one from the dogs trust and its a really worthwhile thing to do

    You get pictures, letters, screensavers, all sorts of bits and peices about your dog, you can visit them online and some you can even go to the center to visit :)

    http://www.dogstrust.org.uk/sponsor_a_dog/
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 41
    Forum Member
    It's true what the people before me have saied. However, if you will be truly deticated to your pet and realy take care of it, why not? But I remember my first puppy and the promises I made that I couldn't keep. In the end my father took care of the dog most of the time.
  • stud u likestud u like Posts: 42,100
    Forum Member
    Why don't you join The Cinammon Trust and walk someone else's dog? They also have plenty of dogs that need short term fostering.

    That way you can prove you are responsiible for a dog of your own.
  • mrsmetropolismrsmetropolis Posts: 1,787
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Why don't you join The Cinammon Trust and walk someone else's dog? They also have plenty of dogs that need short term fostering.

    That way you can prove you are responsiible for a dog of your own.

    Great ideas :).
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,901
    Forum Member
    OP - puppies are really hard work. Our family had always had dogs so when my sister asked me to look after her puppy for a week when I was 15 I agreed happily, not realising what I was letting myself in for...by day three I was ready to hand the pup over to the RSPCA because it was such an utter nightmare to try and do everything for her whilst working in my summer holidays and trying to keep on top of coursework.

    It wasn't just the (lack of) toilet training, it was the nibbling of my fingers and toes with teeth like razors, the weeing whenever she got excited, and the constant, constant yapping. Walking her was a nightmare as she'd pull so hard on the lead that she'd choke herself. I could go on...

    I wasn't having to pay for her food, vaccinations, microchipping, her vet treatments when she ate rat poison (twice), when she pulled muscles, when she ate *something* that meant she couldn't keep anything down for weeks... ( none of this happened when I was looking after her!).

    As it turned out, six years later my sister moved and I ended up with her dog for the last six years of her life, and she brought me great joy and many happy memories. But having a dog is a huge commitment, and a very heavy weight at times. You have to be able to consider your dog first at all times and that can be very limiting. I'd almost compare it to having a baby :eek:
Sign In or Register to comment.