Shouting from next door.....
Next door to me are a young couple who have been there about 4/5 years. They have three children aged from about 5 to around 10.
It is and has always been a quiet neighbourhood so to hear shouting coming from next door was something very new to me when it started after they moved in.
It is always the man who is shouting at the woman and very often ends up in the front garden whereupon the woman leaves, to return later.
This is not an everyday occurrence....perhaps once every few months
In the meantime I find the husband a nice person who is always very polite with me.
I am not comfortable with saying nothing but I really haven't known what to do.
This morning was a little different as he was shouting very loudly at the top of his voice for what seemed ages ...calling her a f****** s*** and telling her to get out of the house ...at one point I heard something smash.
I dithered ...again ...not knowing what to do but then I saw that he had left. I felt I should phone somewhere as I wasn't only worried about the woman I was worried for the children who were in there listening to it.
I then saw her outside so I went out and told her I was thinking of phoning Social Services or somewhere as this could not go on ...for her sake and the childrens. She turned on me and said everything was alright and I couldn't phone anywhere.
She said things would be alright when he calmed down.
I said to her what would I do if something happened to her and/or the children and I had stood by and done nothing.
I asked if she had family she could discuss it with and she said no...I then impressed on her that I was worried for her and the children.
I see her husband is now back ...his car is outside ...and am hoping I don't get a brick through my window.
I just really needed to see what others would have done in my position.
I really upsets me to think of young children being subject to this every so often.
It is and has always been a quiet neighbourhood so to hear shouting coming from next door was something very new to me when it started after they moved in.
It is always the man who is shouting at the woman and very often ends up in the front garden whereupon the woman leaves, to return later.
This is not an everyday occurrence....perhaps once every few months
In the meantime I find the husband a nice person who is always very polite with me.
I am not comfortable with saying nothing but I really haven't known what to do.
This morning was a little different as he was shouting very loudly at the top of his voice for what seemed ages ...calling her a f****** s*** and telling her to get out of the house ...at one point I heard something smash.
I dithered ...again ...not knowing what to do but then I saw that he had left. I felt I should phone somewhere as I wasn't only worried about the woman I was worried for the children who were in there listening to it.
I then saw her outside so I went out and told her I was thinking of phoning Social Services or somewhere as this could not go on ...for her sake and the childrens. She turned on me and said everything was alright and I couldn't phone anywhere.
She said things would be alright when he calmed down.
I said to her what would I do if something happened to her and/or the children and I had stood by and done nothing.
I asked if she had family she could discuss it with and she said no...I then impressed on her that I was worried for her and the children.
I see her husband is now back ...his car is outside ...and am hoping I don't get a brick through my window.
I just really needed to see what others would have done in my position.
I really upsets me to think of young children being subject to this every so often.
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Comments
I suppose it depends how bad and how often your neighbours rows are. If it is every day then they have a problem. Occasional rows happen in all families.
I never hear them during the rows ..I imagine them cowering in a corner.
I didn't say it was right, and yes I've had rows when my kids are In bed. I suspect anyone who says they haven't is telling fibs. Nobody is perfect. I don't swear in front of my kids, but some choose to - that is their choice.
As for the cowering in a corner, I think your being over dramatic at best and a nosey busy body at worst. Was there anything to suggest the children were involved/in danger? Not according to your posts. My suspicion would be that they were upstairs wondering what was going on, but not being overly concerned about it - generally shouting doesn't bother kids if it's a one off (or once in a blue moon), god my kids don't bat an eyelid when I lose my temper.
This people row
ooh and this too Bazaar and I seem to be agreeing a lot lately when we come across each other:D
I came on here to see what others thought .... it's an interesting read.
if you speak louder than normal within earshot of a child you are committing child abuse and as such should hand your children in to the nearest social worker and yourselves to the police to be put on the child protection register and sterilised to prevent more abuse
{everyone else}
so now and again you have a blow out...its probably good and healthy as problems get settled not left to fester and while its not the absolute best for kids to hear it i doubt it will cause any harm as like most things in a week they'll of forgot it happened
our next door neighbour when she's got a BF always seems to wait till her daughters with the father before having a barney with the BF but she's a paranoid thing and always ends up slapping them and accusing them of sleeping around even when they've not been out of her sight for more than about 5 mins, we always dead the weekends when theres a BF and the poor kids shipped off for the weekend as it always ends up with a 2am barney where he wants out but she won't give him his phone and thus theres 2-3 hours or shouting just when you fancy a nice nights kip
Good God, mind your own business! It really has nothing to do with you. Everyone rows, particularly in these hard times but calling Social Services is way OTT. How would YOU like it if the tables were turned. Interfering neighbours like you I'm sure they could do without.:rolleyes:
Maybe the wife will tell her husband about your conversation and things will quieten down??
If you suspect the children are being physically abused then thats another matter. But having social services swooping on them for rowing ocasionally is way OTT at this stage from what youve described.
well if you can hear it then it kinda is your business and can be very annoying. I had a couple always fighting in the flat beneath me once. I complained to the landlord and they were kicked OUT soon after. I dont play :cool:
Yes, but this is different. The OP is jumping to conclusions and quite frankly it's pathetic.
Actually social services take domestic abuse seriously when children are present and they would be quite likely to contact the family to see what support they could offer. I personally think the OP was right to have a chat with the neighbour and hopefully things may calm down a bit now but if they dont I think the OP should make that call.
Another nosey parker.:rolleyes:
It's not an ideal scenario when couples row, but it's better to have a blow out every now and again as it can help clear the air. In most cases it's the quiet ones you want to watch out for as they will have dead people at their dinner table and carry on like everything is normal for years on end.
So a bloke screaming f***ing s*** at his wife every so often is is "normal" argument behaviour in most marriages, is it?
Delightful. Not where I come from, it isn't.
OP, I'd have been a bit concerned as well. I wouldn't have said I was calling social services, though. I'd have just asked her if everything was alright. That's just being a good neighbour.
Unfortunately, it would appear that the woman condones it by the fact the cycle is repeated and by making apologies for her partner's behaviour when to most people it would be inexcusable.
It is also none of your business now you have been told not to interfere. All you can do is be supportive if either party chooses to confide the reality of the situation to you. If you log a report of the noise with the council saying you are being disturbed by it and report any serious incidents to the Police as soon as they occur as a breach of the peace.
You can tell them how much it upsets you to see them carry on and how it disturbs you, but to be honest apart from suggesting they get help with their issues there is little else you can do.
Maybe she's shagging the neighbour?
Its a shame there were no noisy parkers living next door to Daniel Pelka and Hamzah Khan and dont you think?....both children were living in households where domestic abuse was a factor. When women place abusive men above their own children the consequences can be tragic.
I am much more than a noisy parker....I actually care what happens to children.