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Charity donations instead of gifts for kids birthday party
So my 9 year old has decided that instead of gifts for her birthday party she would like her friends to donate to charity instead. She would put on the invitation something along the lines of 'If you were thinking of buying a gift then a donation to 'insert charity name and webpage' would be lovely".
There are a few reasons why I think this is a great idea.
1, It's what my daughter wants to do and she appreciates how lucky she is
2, The charity she's chosen helps vulnerable kids
3, It saves parents the hassle of getting a present
4, They can donate anonymously however much they like or not at all if they can't afford to
5, I don't have to find space for 20 presents
6, She will get lots of presents from family
Well I was struggling a bit with how to word the no gifts on the invitation request so googled it. Now i've read a whole host of people saying how wrong they think it is to ask for donations, that it's bad etiquette to mention gifts on an invitation, you shouldn't expect gifts, charity donation request will be ignored and some people will still bring a gift making others feel awkward, gifts are part of the whole experience and you're ruining everyone's fun blah blah blah.
Now I feel like I should almost encourage my daughter to not ask for charity donations and accept gifts!
Just wondering what people's opinions on here are really. What would you think if someone asked for a charity donation instead of a gift?
There are a few reasons why I think this is a great idea.
1, It's what my daughter wants to do and she appreciates how lucky she is
2, The charity she's chosen helps vulnerable kids
3, It saves parents the hassle of getting a present
4, They can donate anonymously however much they like or not at all if they can't afford to
5, I don't have to find space for 20 presents
6, She will get lots of presents from family
Well I was struggling a bit with how to word the no gifts on the invitation request so googled it. Now i've read a whole host of people saying how wrong they think it is to ask for donations, that it's bad etiquette to mention gifts on an invitation, you shouldn't expect gifts, charity donation request will be ignored and some people will still bring a gift making others feel awkward, gifts are part of the whole experience and you're ruining everyone's fun blah blah blah.
Now I feel like I should almost encourage my daughter to not ask for charity donations and accept gifts!
Just wondering what people's opinions on here are really. What would you think if someone asked for a charity donation instead of a gift?
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I'd be more inclined to offer it as an alternative. Some people enjoy giving a gift more than they do receiving one but others might be happy to do without the faff of searching for a gift and make a donation instead.
I would be tempted to explain to your child that it's a lovely idea, but that it isn't really the done thing. The idea above about giving the presents to charity seems an excellent compromise idea when explaining it to them, especially as there always seems to be a lot of money and vouchers at that age nowadays, anyway. (As long as she doesn't go into school the next day and tell people that she gave their present straight to the local orphanage)
Mt grand-daughter did exactly the same for her 8th birthday, and all her friends thought it a super idea. They donated all to the local Sick Children's Hospital - raised over £150.
Best wishes to your daughter for her birthday and congrats to you...she's a credit to you.
That's a good idea, a children's hospice may appreciate some new toys.
OP your 9 year old sounds very kind and mature, you should be very proud.
She's super sensitive to all the adverts on tv of kids suffering. We always donate to the charity she's chosen at Christmas as they hold a huge Christmas party on Christmas day for thousands of kids who would otherwise have no celebration, presents, food etc. They do so much work for vulnerable kids and really are an amazing charity.
I can see how it might seem 'wankier' as it's a bit of a goody two shoes request.
However, She would potentially get 20 presents at her party. She's also likely to get a further 10 presents from family/friends etc. No child needs 30 presents! That's just totally ridiculous in my opinion. She will get a present from the entertainers that are doing her party and she is over the moon with just getting that one present on the day.
I have considered asking for presents to be donated to charity but I do quite like that this way it takes the stress out of present buying and people can donate if they wish to, however much they like, anonymously.
My daughter has spent some time in hospital before so could ask for a donation for the children's ward but that would mean asking for money donations and I like that idea less.
I did ask one of the school mums advice this morning and she said no matter what I do I will offend someone, somehow. It is the first and only large party my daughter will have so I think screw it. If that's what she wants to do then that's what we'll do.
It's stressing me out and it's such a ridiculous thing to be stressed out about really.
Now I think about it a bit more, the difficulty you are going to have is how you present the request. Anything written down is always going to be read in whatever voice someone has in their heads at that time. Brevity will be the key. The more words you use, the more someone will read it out in a Middle-Class groovy voice.
Maybe something light at the bottom like 'No presents, thanks, but we are raising money for xxxx if anyone would like to donate' and possibly even a justgiving address ?
I think every parent will have sympathy for the not having lots of presents angle. How many of the parents are you on good terms with ? Maybe explain the dilemma to a few of them first and say what you are planning at lease removes some of them from the 'reading it in a wanky voice' loop
Where I can see that sort of thing coming unstuck is if the invitation suggested how much should be given.
I was planning to keep it simple with...
"If you were thinking of buying a present then a donation to 'insert charity name and webpage' would be lovely instead. This is an amazing charity that helps vulnerable children"
Something along those lines.
Any improvement on that is warmly welcomed
It is rather sickly sweet isn't it!
Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Thing with this is that I can just imagine that someone will give a more generous amount and put their name at the bottom. Then the competitiveness will start.
There are some very very rich people in my daughters class and there's some people like me who consider themselves rich when they have £10 in their purse lol.
This reminds me of every wedding invitation I've ever received... "Having lived together for a number of years now we have everything we need for our house, and your presence on our wonderfal day is enough. BUT if you'd like to give us a gift we'd love some spending money for our honeymoon.
PS. If you give us nothing, don't expect us to ever speak to you again. The vol au vents alone cost a grand"
This is great except the wording is not what my daughter would say.
I haven't even thought of asking her how she would write it. I should probably do that.
It is really tricky because whatever she says the parents will think it is by your influence, I can see why you are having a dilemma!
When we got married we told everyone not to get us anything (including money) but everyone gave us money anyway, we were very grateful of course but it goes to show people will just do what they think appropriate.
It is really stressing me out now.
Part of me thinks screw it people can read it however they like it's birthday girls wish.
part of me is thinking of telling my daughter to just scrap being kind and accept presents.
Also, if I say make a donation and some people do bring presents then that may well make other people feel awkward.
What about not mentioning presents on the invites, and any money given to your daughter can then be donated? (in our experience, if nothing specific is mentioned then we give/are given cash)