Am i being unreasonable?
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My partner of nearly 3 years, who I stay with at weekend etc, as she runs a alternative health cente attached to her home, needed a break, away from the pressure, of treating people etc, so she had booked a weeks yogo holiday with a friend in a week's time, I agreed so she could relax. While away, to dog, clinic mind etc.
Her single daughter, 34,who spends nearly every weekend over her mums, with us, (she has her own flat) laying on settee, being waited on hand and foot, feeling 'she says' stressed and tired!
She wanted her mum to cancel her yoga break, because she booked a week holiday, and wanted to spend it with her mum (being looked after know doubt) is now going with her, as it turns our it a double room, and as my partner is only doing Yoga in the mornings! So it be a holiday for poor daughter who is feeling stressed!
While i am left at partners (out of the kindest of my heart). dog and health centre minding as i said She needed a break! My partner said what could she do after her daughter sulked! I will say we not likely to get a summer holiday as her other married daughter is going to give birth in August, with her first baby.
Am i being a touch unreaonable to feel a but miffed!
Her single daughter, 34,who spends nearly every weekend over her mums, with us, (she has her own flat) laying on settee, being waited on hand and foot, feeling 'she says' stressed and tired!
She wanted her mum to cancel her yoga break, because she booked a week holiday, and wanted to spend it with her mum (being looked after know doubt) is now going with her, as it turns our it a double room, and as my partner is only doing Yoga in the mornings! So it be a holiday for poor daughter who is feeling stressed!
While i am left at partners (out of the kindest of my heart). dog and health centre minding as i said She needed a break! My partner said what could she do after her daughter sulked! I will say we not likely to get a summer holiday as her other married daughter is going to give birth in August, with her first baby.
Am i being a touch unreaonable to feel a but miffed!
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Your partner was going to go on holiday for a week... and you were going to look after the dogs and her business? and that was fine?
Your partners daughter is going along too... but now it is not fine? how does that affect you?
Or have I missed something?
What advice do you need?
Well for a start, I got a feeling daughter is onto a good thing. Will be hanging around for a long time, mat be selfish. But at the age, where didn't expect to still have sulky children around, who come first,
What advice do you need?
What?
You're in the wrong forum I think.
Maybe your partner feels completely differently than YOU do about her own daughter, and that having her along on the break with her will be a joy and she too will enjoy the chance to spend time with her daughter?
So, in short, yes you are being unreasonable.
I don't know if you have children of your own or not?
I don't. But everyone I've ever spoken to, has said from the moment that child is born, they will always be the most important thing in the world to them.
I guess, i need to think carefully, if this is always going go be this way. and end it before i find myself in 10 years still playing third fiddle to a middle agec daughter.
I have 2 sons, 26 and 30, but don't expect them around to look after them hand and foot. While they take it easy, or sulk for me into taking them on holiday!
Yes, as we will not get a holiday this summer together. I wanted my GF to go away as she needed this break, she said herself, she tired from running her clinic, and 'in her words' looking after her daughter at weekends.
As for you playing second-fiddle to the daughter, that is a bit off and unreasonable. You two have been together for less than 3 years, she's had her daughter for 34 years.
It was not on her own, but with a friend to do yoga retreat to recharge herself. She said ' what can she do, after her daughter sulked.
I am not saying her daughter don't come first. But every weekend being looked after! And now this. At 34, she should be more independant. Sorry if it selfish, but at our age, we done our bit! And should have at least some our-time.
You want her to be more assertive with the lazy daughter? That's understandable if it affects you, but you'll have to be sensitive about it.
If you want to see more of your girlfriend, why not see her during the week instead of just at weekends?
She not a child. But 34 and should in part have her own life! As for week days, i work, and most days she works to 9 most nights.
What a disgusting response. The 'child' in question is 34, and this behavious is absolutely pathetic. Once a child becomes an adult, there is absolutely no need whatsoever for them to always come before a partner, and in fact it's deeply unhealthy for them to do so. OP you would absolutely ignore any response of this kind as it is clearly written to suit its own twisted agenda which is to prolong a unhealthy dependent child-parent relationship, due to their own inability to accept the fact that their adult children are capable of surviving - in fact, thriving - without them.
Your partner is an adult. If she is too weak to say no to her daughter I don't see how it's your job to intervene. You are no worse off than if she was going alone. I'd leave we'll alone.
What??......why should the mother have to choose between them which is what the OP expects. If his gf is finding her relationship with her own daughter a problem then that is her business.....not the OP's.